Can anyone advise on CC or CIO while cosleeping?

[zombiebanana]

Oops... this is really long... Bit of a rant - sorry!

I want to know if anyone has tried a cry it out type sleep training method whilst continuing to cosleep.

DS is 9mo and does not sleep through the night - he wakes up between every 1 and 3 hours from when he goes to bed at 6.30ish til about 5.30 when he is up for the day (though often still tired and shouty). He sleeps with us, in a superking bed where he sleeps over to one side under a separate cover so he's not disturbed by our movements. I usually feed him (he is BFing) once during the night but only when he's unsoothable by DH, but often he goes all night without milk - so he's not waking up hungry. Otherwise DH rocks him back to sleep every time he wakes up and cries out. On a few occasions he's put himself back to sleep without intervention but these are few and far between, but we have left him crying for a maximum of 5 minutes before intervening.

Things are getting pretty bad, because I am trying to do a PhD and cannot afford to be exhausted during the day. I often sleep in on the floor in the living room or with earplugs to try and get some decent sleep so I can work but I'm still up at 5.30am because DH is too knackered to get up.

I've tried 'no-cry' solutions - he falls asleep w/o boob and I put him down awake after being fed at night. He has a fairly consistent routine. He's not ill or teething and I have read every piece of advice and every baby book out there and come to the conclusion that he simply doesn't know how to go back to sleep when he wakes in the night. I have tried to sooth him w/o picking up, but he just wails with his eyes shut until he's picked up and rocked (or I stick my boob in his gob).

So, the time has come. This is getting ridiculous and something must be done. DH loves cosleeping (and we do not have the space for a different arrangement). Even though it was all my idea in the first place I am less keen now - we seem to have made a terrible rod for our own backs and all the websites which say cosleeping is the answer to all sleep problems seem like so much BS. I think leaving DS to cry may be the only way to get him to sleep. Unfortunately DH is not in agreement with CIO and would rather just wait it out til DS learns to sleep on his own... But I'm not that patient! And I need/love my sleep more than he does. And I can't bear to see his grey pallor when he's been up all night. And he's a grump. (This is weird, it's like I'm the dad and he's the mum).

Before I broach the subject and try and talk him into it, I'd love to hear some experiences. I can't find a single piece of advice on the interweb about CIO and cosleeping at the same time, they seem to be the antithesis of one another.

What are your experiences?

[humptynumptyfall]

When you say you don't have room to do anything but co sleep does that mean he doesn't have his own room?

[zombiebanana]

Yes, we have a lodger in the spare room to pay the mortgage, and there's absolutely no space in our room for a cot (we have a huge bed).

However, I've got an update... We did CIO while cosleeping (I did it at my parents house and DH stayed at our place so he wouldn't be upset). I followed the instructions in the Sleepeasy Solution. Day 1, about 15 mins of screaming, then he was gone. Day 2, 0 minutes of screaming but it took about fifteen mins for him to go to sleep. Now on day 3 and DS went to straight to sleep in bed at 7pm after a story, with no tears. Last night (day 2) he slept through from 7pm to 5.20am except for me waking him at midnight for a feed. I literally cannot believe it. I think I might have died and gone to heaven.

[Clarella]

just interested - did you cio lying in bed with him ? trying to get an image of how that would be done (in case we are in your situation in a few months!)