Unplanned co sleeping & safety(7 Posts)
Lately my DD (19wo) has become very unsettled in the early hours of the morning. She usually sleeps fairly well (well, in between pretty frequent feeds!) in a bednest beside me but in her unsettled moments only being held will do. As a result I have been bringing her into bed with me in a desperate bid to get some sleep. But I am worried because we are not set up for it.
She sleeps in a sleep suit or bundler or long sleeved vest plus 2.5 tog grobag. When I bring her in I usually have her head in the crook of my arm below pillow height. I tuck the duvet around me so she can't get under it but she's still lying against it iyswim. I have her on my outside so I am between her and DH. Neither of us are heavy drinkers but DH has often had one or two drinks the previous evening. (she generally comes into bed after 3ish am).
Does this sound safe enough? I don't have blankets so can't easily change our bedding but could buy some if people think its essential. How do others deal with the pillow situation? Is it ok to be actually cuddled up to DD with her head on my arm like this? And should I be taking her out of her grobag or does this sound ok?
I would like to know how other occasional co sleepers deal with these issues.
I think what you describe sounds okay to me
our DD's just turned 1 and she sleeps between us, in her grobag. DH has a fleece blanket, I sleep with a duvet, and she's not covered with extra bedding.
I actually place her in a way that her head is very near the head of the bed, almost touching, our pillows are not near her face.
I sleep on my side with my back turned on her (so she is behind me) as I prefer this rather then breathing in her face. I've stopped BF last week, but shee needs a comfort cuddle most nights.
my DH has a drink almost every night and weighs 20 stones, but we never had an incident when either of us rolled on any of our 6 kids - whether I was BF a newborn at night or I had to comfort a scared 3 year old or look after and older child who was ill.
At the age of your child I do admit that I found night time bf easier if DH slept in another room (sorry!) and I normally put baby in the middle of the bed, on their side so I could bf, and put a pillow or folded blanket behind their back (below the line of the shoulders) to stop them from rolling over.
I'd have baby's head under my arm (I'm also on my side), with upper arm at right angle to my body, my hand under my head (can you picture this?)
I would either exclude baby from my bedding, or depending on the weather and their age I might share my blanket/duvet with them (no grobag in this case, if very hot then baby's in nappy only, but both of us covered in a very light sheet)
I hope this helps, but happy to answer more questions!
There is some more info on the isis website
DD2 always spent part of the night like that except she snuggled just under the edge of our quilt. Grobags are a wonderful new inversion. Very rare and expensive 12 years ago.
When ds is in our bed we co sleeping v similarly. Although I sometimes give DP the duvet and put a jumper and socks on. Also I worry about him wriggling up so I put one pillow vertically not horizontally and the other (before I side carred the cot) was on the floor where he would fall if he escaped.
Thank you everyone that is all very helpful and somewhat reassuring. It's very hard to work out how to apply safety guidelines in the real world I find, especially in the middle of the night. The Isis site makes for very interesting reading so thank you for that and also to those who have shared their experiences.
That sounds pretty much like we do it. I tuck duvet under me up to waist and over my shoulder (if that make sense) so no duvet near her face. I sleep with my arm out creating a barrier between her head and my pillow.
I dress her in a 2.5 tog grobag and a long sleeved vest, our room is fairly warm.
My DH likes a glass of wine in the evening so I sleep in the middle, between them iyswim. We also have a bedside crib but shes too big for it now so it kind of just acts as a barrier so she can't fall out of bed.
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