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Sleep causing friction w me and dp

(5 Posts)
okthen Sun 21-Apr-13 10:59:24

Our dc2 (nearly 6 months) is a bit of a rubbish night sleeper. Me and dp manage this ok, but daytime sleep is now causing tension between us.

The one thing ds has always managed is to take good long naps in his pram. With dc1 (3) to look after, this has suited me well as I can't be stuck upstairs trying to settle ds in his cot all day. Dp works full time and has not looked after them both on his own ever (because I'm bf- not because he doesn't want to).

Dp thinks that ds should be napping in his cot, and in a 'frank' moment admitted that he 'holds me responsible' for the fact that ds will only nap in his pram. He said he knows this is unreasonable, but wanted to be honest...

I want ds to nap in his cot too, but not at any cost. This morning he has had 20 mins sleep in his cot and the rest of the time he has been crying/grizzling in his cot with us taking turns to settle him, and dd getting bored downstairs. His whole routine and feeds are now fucked for the day, and he'll get more and more overtired, and we'll be up again in an hour trying to settle him into his bloody cot.

I don't want dp to feel he has no role to play in ds' routine/care, but am really annoyed about this. And how he expects me to do this when on my own with the kids I do not know!

At the same time I know that unless we want ds to only nap in his pram forever, it has to be done somehow...

Am all confused and cross!

Sorry for the rant.

Middlesexmummy Sun 21-Apr-13 16:08:24

Hi there , does your dc settle in the cot at night and if so , is there anything you do different at night than you do during the day?

Eating43 Sun 21-Apr-13 18:39:12

WHat difference does it make to your DP? That would make me really cross. If you are looking after them all day, you know what works best for them (and you). Dealing with a baby and a toddler is rough. If baby sleeps in pram then all is good in my opinion. I would tell DP to do one to be honest! X

blushingmare Sun 21-Apr-13 19:02:38

Why does it matter that he only naps in the pram? DD (10mo) also only naps in her pram, but it's really not a problem for us, in fact it's kind of handy to be able to take her out and not disrupt her nap routine. Like you say, far better that he sleeps and is happy and easy to manage!

FWIW I've just started putting DD down for her morning nap in her cot and she's managing it pretty well. I reckon they all will grow into it when they're ready so please don't let your DP make you feel you've made a rod for your own back and all that rubbish.

okthen Sun 21-Apr-13 21:34:22

Thanks for replies. Was really pissed off with him! I don't think he realises a) what it is like to look after them both and b) how lucky we are that ds takes good long naps in pram.

Anyway in the end dp took ds out for a walk in the pram and when he came back we discussed and agreed that while ideally he would nap in the cot, and we'll keep trying on that front, we'll put him in the pram if he won't settle.

I think ds loves his furry pramsuit and being outside- sadly we can't use either of those things at night!

I find it really hard how sleep deprivation can cause me and dp to get snappy with each other. We are usually in tune with each other when t comes to parenting stuff hmm

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