People who co-slept, when and how did you stop?(16 Posts)
That's it really. Ds is 8mo and we co-sleep. I love it but wondering about other people's experiences. How old were your little ones when they went to their own beds? And how on earth did you do it?
Well now....5 years and counting with DD2. DD1 dumped us when she was 4...DD2 still sleeps with us.
I started accidentally as it felt like the only way to stop battling with a cot refuser and get some sleep. I love it too but DS (almost 9mo) wakes a lot, particularly in the evenings before we go to bed and very rarely self settles without bf, hence am thinking I'll have to start doing something about that very soon. Not looking forward to it though. Am lurking on here, reading a lot about sleep training and going to try some gentle as possible training to try to get him in a cot (our room at first) soon. Starting this week I think.
Well I'm not...I'm confident DD will shove off to her own bed when she's ready to.
I think it's different for you because you're BF...I don't blame you for wanting to stop BF to sleep.
Am in your shoes. 3rd baby, we have decided to stop at 3 DCs so I am really struggling to not sleep with 8mo dd anymore! I love it, but at the same time I am not getting enough sleep. I can't roll far enough away from her and I think she must sense my closeness and my milk and she seems to wake 3 or more times a night to feed on and off and I'm permanently in a kind of half sleep.
So we will do what we did with the other DCs at around the same age. Move their cot into their own room and just go in and feed hee in a chair beside her cot when she wakes up. then put her back in her cot and she goes back to sleep (we hope!).
Btw I already start mine off in her own cot by my bed, then take her in to my bed when she 1st wakes. And we are at an advantage in that she can settle herself to sleep when going down at the beginning of the night, and usually can if she wakes up during the night as well, that is after I feed her. Sometimes she wakes up too fully tho and she can be a bit shouty and that's when co-sleeping and feeding her lying down helps to get her back to sleep eventually.
I think she is roused when I come to bed so I'm hoping that if I'm not coming in to the room to disturb her, she will sleep longer for her 1st stretch and then sleep longer and more deeply when she gets used to me just coming in to feed her when she wakes. From past experience I am preparing to be going in once or twice a night for about a month or so. Hopefully not more often than this although that frequency could continue til 1yr or so. I did find with my older 2 that they adjusted quite well at this age and I just made my feeding chair comfy with a blanket if I was chilly and a bottle of water and a footstool. Now is a good age as she isn't teething at the mo and she's just at that point of still accepting me putting her down and leaving the room.
Hope I don't jinx it now with this post! I will miss co sleeping on a nightly basis tho, makes me sad that its the end of this post-newborn phase for us tho i know we can and most likely will still co-sleep on occasion. I have always felt sad to move on from it but i've been delaying and delaying with our last wee one but i need to get more solid sleep. Good luck!
Thanks for replies. I'm not sure when I'll stop freelancegirl but parents and in laws starting to tell us we should stop. That its dangerous as he might crawl and fall out and we shouldn't leave it any longer or it will get harder to get him in his own cot/room :-/ He never settles at night without bf to sleep though and he does still feed at night so I think co-sleeping maximises sleep for us all. I think my confidence that I'm doing the right thing is getting knocked by everyone nagging at me though :-(
I bought a bed rail!
When they got to be too big and demanding of space (aged 2 or so) I moved them into proper singles in their own rooms and went in with them as necessary, getting gradually firmer about returning to my own bed after they were settled.
Not a quick fix, but very gentle.
It is indeed annoying when other people make you feel bad about it isn't it! But good to hear that some of you have had success moving them before. I would like DS to just have one sleep a night in the cot even but I think more importantly for me it is about getting him to self settle, then hopefully wake less and also occasionally be put to bed easier by DH or other family so I could have the odd stress free night out! Oh and have the odd evening without frequent waking.
So I guess for me it's not the actual co sleeping that's an issue but I feel (or am made to feel by those damn 12 hours a night books) that getting him in a cot might help. I keep putting it off though
Dd fed to sleep every night of her life and usually started night in her cot and ended up in our bed. Then transferred to big girl bed aged 20 months with no problem at all.
same as neo, we co slept (as I was breastfeeding) and we are still struggling to get our third into his own bed now at 5. Dh blames me. It really wasn't a conscious decision to let him sleep with us, we did it because of circumstance (room sharing, a severely disabled child with sleep issues/nocturnal epilepsy/constant bloody breastfeeding) but I do despair a lot atm because i am so tired
bedrail or mattress on floor. Safety schmafety - what a crazy argument. I'd just be looking incredulous and say "where do you think human infants slept before the Victorian era? In the coal shed?"
My children moved out of their own volition around 3-4, with middle-of-the-night arrivals or bed sharing when feeling ill for some time after that.
Mattress on floor beside parent(s) bed is also a good idea - functions as beginning of night bed, and also as bed rail for when the child arrives in the night.
By 5/6 months I had dd going to bed in her cot at the start of the night then would cosleep from te first waking onwards.
By 9 months she started getting more disturbed by me being there so I started putting her back in her cot after feeds although if it got tricky I'd just pop her in with me.
Now at 16 months she sleeps in her cot with 1-2 night wakings a night but it's much more manageable now!
As for safety - I had a foam bed guard under the sheets to stop dd rolling. She did fall out once when we stayed at the inlaws and I didn't have a guard.
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