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Need a plan to get this baby sleeping

(23 Posts)
pickledlily Sun 07-Apr-13 06:58:01

DD has never slept well, is now 12months and last night was the final straw for me. She usually wakes 3-4 times but it was 2hourly last night. It's making me grumpy with her and DH, I'm back to work in 2weeks and quite frankly I'm an inch away from chucking her out of the window.

So I need some ideas to sort out her sleep, so just one wake up would be good and up no earlier than 6am. She currently needs cuddling to sleep, have tried PUPD, shh pat but they just get her more worked up. CC next on the agenda, but when I left her last night at bedtime she just kept jumping around her cot until she banged her head and started screaming.

What would you do?

pickledlily Sun 07-Apr-13 07:01:00

Oh and she's suffering separation anxiety too, so I have to get DH to put her down alot at he moment because she just mucks about with me. But he's not always around to do it.

TheFallenNinja Sun 07-Apr-13 07:03:47

What's the current bedtime routine?

PoppyWearer Sun 07-Apr-13 07:13:34

Do you give her milk at night? If so, cut that out.

Does she squirm about with wind at night? If so, you need to find the reason for that (could be milk, could be something else) and solve that.

Good DC2 is 19mo and we still haven't cracked it!

pickledlily Sun 07-Apr-13 10:07:53

Agh! 3rd attempt at posting...

Bedtime is a bath at 5.30, teeth, pjs, cuddle, feed, story (not nursery days, she's usually too tired) and sleep by 6 if a good day, otherwise an hour of fiddling around and settling.

She has a big feed at 2.30ish, but i have been a wimp reluctant to drop it, especially on nursery days, as she wont drink formula or cows milk. This is the one wake up I don't mind as she drops off again relatively quickly after. But maybe I just need to bite the bullet.

pickledlily Sun 07-Apr-13 10:10:17

She does a lot of sqirming on me when settling, never been sure if it's teeth, wind, stomach, nappy rash, trying to poo, she just likes sticking her bum in the air and acting like a caterpillar, or its just to annoy me hmm

iwillsleepagainsomeday Sun 07-Apr-13 10:16:48

i'd make here have a catnap before tea and put her down for the night not before 7/7:30. I think by 4/5 in the morning she is already too rested to sleep well and hunger and happyness to start the day are creeping in.
mine never slept more then 10h a night.

pickledlily Sun 07-Apr-13 17:57:31

I tried the catnap thing, admittedly a couple of months back, and she was a nightmare to settle at bedtime and still woke up at 5am. I could try it again though, I guess things may have changed.

She's had a late nap this afternoon and I'm going to stretch out her bed time a little tonight to see what happens.

pickledlily Mon 08-Apr-13 01:42:05

So she went to sleep at 6.45, woke up screaming at 8. Screamed for 30mins before Calpol and DH could settle her, and she's awake again now whinging because im not in with her - I've been trying to settle her fir an hour and every time she drifts off and I try to put her in the cot she wakes up and screams at me. Its like having a newborn again. sadSo now DH is in with her, so that means that once again we are both going to be sleep deprived in the morning.

What the hell am I supposed to do? Why won't she bloody well sleep? It's taking all my will power not to wallop her for being such a PITA and then I feel shit for not being calm and able to settle her.

Sorry for the rant. Struggling to think straight.

RayofSun Mon 08-Apr-13 02:00:53

Watching with anticipation. My dd is same age. Same problem. At the end or my tether with her!

pickledlily Mon 08-Apr-13 07:43:03

So glad (but sorry for you!) that someone else is in the same boat.

She eventually fell asleep and woke at 5 bloody 30. On the plus side, it's the first night she has gone without a feed. And it explains the hystrionics at 1.30 because she would have been wanting a feed. Not sure why I didn't twig, clearly sleep deprived

Juustanothermnetter Mon 08-Apr-13 16:04:17

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Ds is 12 months also and I've decided that we need to do something now too. Waking approx 5 times a night and I'm shattered.

My dd was 2.5 before I found a solution to her awful sleep - it took literally years to find a solution and I simply will not go through that again so soon (dd only 2.10 now).

Unfortunately what worked with dd will not work with ds as it was comprehension/gro clock/ bribery which eventually worked.

My plan is to do 5 minutes cc with ds - however I will be sleeping in the spare bed in his room. Every 5 mins I will get up shh pat for 30 seconds, tell him I love him and then go back to the bed. I hope this way he will learn to get back to sleep on his own yet also be reassured I'm near to him but not responsible for getting him b k to sleep.

That's my plan anyway - we will see if it works.

Good luck. Sleep deprivation is simply exhausting, often soul destroying and when bad enough (as with dd) can almost turn you into a different person. My only advice is to try your best to do whatever you choose with love in your heart while doing it. It does make it easier to get through for you and baby.

pickledlily Mon 08-Apr-13 19:48:33

Thanks for your message. It feels better knowing I'm nit the only one with a sleep avoider. Turns out DD has been teething all day so that might go some way to explain last night. But not every night!

Good luck with the CC, I hope you get some sleep. let us know how it goes.

IwishIwasmoreorganised Mon 08-Apr-13 19:53:46

I agree that the frequent wakings aren't good, but both of our ds's had runs of waking for the day at about 5.30am.

If you can sort the rest, you might have to accept the early starts for a while.

Her bed time sounds pretty early. At that age our 2 were having an early ish lunch (about midday) then a good sleep (2 hours or so), tea about 5.30pm then a play, bath story (with milk) and bed about 7ish.

Gradual retreat was the technique that worked for us with night time settling. Not an overnight solution, but one that we were all comfortable with.

Good luck.

pickledlily Tue 09-Apr-13 09:05:59

Her bedtime is early but I'm finding it difficult to push it back without her losing the plot and becoming impossible to settle. She gets tea at 4.00 at nursery, back home by 4.30 and she's a wreck; she only sleeps for 30 mins in the afternoon.

Last night was horrendous - despite being dosed up on Nurofen she was awake every hour until 2.30, before finally sleeping until 6 although she may have woken every hour then too, but we were too knackered to hear her

Juustanothermnetter Tue 09-Apr-13 22:23:57

Didn't do cc with ds - he's come down with something (although might be teething) and is miserable poor baby. So last couple nights spent with him in my bed. Very counterproductive but I couldn't leave him to cry even with me next to him when I know he's poorly.

I'll update you when he's better and I've tried the method I described above. Hopefully the teething settles down at your end too.

Juustanothermnetter Tue 09-Apr-13 22:32:03

I'd be aiming for 7pm bedtime, 6 am wake (but I'm struggling with a non sleeper do take my advice with grain of salt).

Oh - and white noise may help you. A loud humidifier works well in my experience.

SunnyUpNorth Tue 09-Apr-13 23:05:15

It sounds like over tiredness to me. Is there anything you can do get her to have a longer nap during the day? I too think 6pm is too early a bedtime but with such a short nap it may need to remain then until you fox the nap.

Is she walking well? I found once my dd started walking she would get really tired and have a great nap after lunch. She was doing two naps til around 12 months, then dropped to one big one.

Sorry you're going through this and good luck.

SunnyUpNorth Tue 09-Apr-13 23:05:41

Fix not fox!

justhayley Tue 09-Apr-13 23:28:57

Hiya my DS will be 1 on Monday and he is a rubbish sleeper - you are definitely not on your own.
My DP is in the Army so Monday-Friday I'm on my own.
I'm still breastfeeding and the only way I can get through the horrendous nights without feeling like Iv been tortured the next day is to co sleep. DS wakes I pop him on the boob and can go back to sleep pretty quicky.
Iv tried many many times to get him out of my bed - not even in his own room just out my bed, but I'm so exhausted the next day from getting up so often I can't function. I think if DP was home I'd be stricter but i just need to do whatever kind of works to feel human & be able to cope.

My DS goes to sleep at 7, although since the clocks changed it's been between 7.30-7.45. he has 1 nap in the day lasting 45-60 mins. He'l occasionally have a 2 hour nap or 2 short naps in the day but only of he's been swimming or to a soft play centre where he's worn himself out.
Iv heard people Inc my HV say she thinks he's over tiered and therefore waking up but its hard you can't force them to sleep in the day.

My DS is also not a big eater (solids) which I don't think helps.

Unfortunately I have no advice for you but thought I'd share my story.

Im at the point mow where I need to get DS sleeping through and out of my bed.
It's so hard some days are worse than others and it does make you really irritable.
I try and remind myself it's not his fault and if he knew how he'd probably like to sleep through and feel fresh in the morning as well.

Hope tonights not a bad one for you

justhayley Wed 10-Apr-13 06:07:24

Iv had one of the worst nights iv had in forever confused DS has been pretty much awake all night. The longest period he's probably slept for is 20 minutes. I have no idea what's wrong with him. He's just wanted to be on the boob or crying all night. I'm sore, exhausted, and am about to cry or jump out the window - and to top it off it's my birthday today sad
How was your night OP?

Juustanothermnetter Wed 10-Apr-13 08:02:57

Hayley I couldn't read and run. I'm so sorry you had an awful night. I hope things improve soon for you too sad

Happy birthday, try and relax today. My friends partner was in Afghanistan the first year of her baby's life so I've seen how difficult it is. I admire your strength. Hugs.

pickledlily Wed 10-Apr-13 08:34:57

Happy Birthday Hayley, sorry you've had a rubbish night. They know how to time it to really wear you down, don't they sad

DD woke every hour again last night until 1.30. Finally settled after a huge feed at 2.30, woke again at 4.30 and hasn't slept since. Just dropped her off at nursery a wreck.

There's not much I can do about the naps whilst she is in nursery. She's only just settled enough to have 2 naps there so hopefully they will lengthen over time. She's just starting to walk, hanging onto a finger, so I guess it's developmental. <sigh>

I watched Bedtime live last night and can't believe the babies settled so quickly when put in their cot and don't bounce around for hours. They are drugged, right? hmm

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