Self settling, too young for CC? Help!(9 Posts)
My DD is almost 12 weeks and hasn't been a bad sleeper, on Monday, we moved her from hanging out in the lounge with us (she would sleep in the swing chair but not really well as noise, lights etc), to bottle, bed in moses in our room about 7:30/8. Since then, she's been waking at 3am and regularly at every hour, have been bringing her into bed with me and giving dummy but the dummmy seems to make it worse as she doesn't seem to sleep deeply at this time (got lot of hours before obviously!) so wakes when it falls out. What should I do, should I get rid of dummy, should I try and get her to self settle (when she wakes up it's a cry, not a grizzle)? Is she too young for CC? I'm really confused about what to do and how long it'll last. Please help! x
12 weeks is v young ...could she be hungry... have you tried feeding her??
Yes she is too young for CC, if she definately doesn't want food I'd do pick up put down. Don't leave her to cry, as soon as she does you pick her up and comfort her and hold her until she is calm and then put her back down, as soon as she starts crying you pick her up again - and repeat. It make take a long time but she is very little and needs your reassurance.
I'll try the pick up put down, hard to know what's best when you're tired. Yes she is FF at 10pm & takes whole bottle, not interested in food during night so i know it's not hunger x
DS has a similar routine to your DD. He is 16 weeks old, so a little older but not much. He has a bottle and goes to bed in his cot at 7pm. We give him a dream feed bottle at 10pm (8oz, the little piggy!), and then he does not feed until 8am.
He sleeps v well in the first bit of the night (7-10pm), and then after his 10pm bottle he normally does a stint of 3-4 hours which is v good sleep. So we make sure we get to sleep then too! He normally then wakes up anywhere from once to 4 or 5 times between 2am and 7am when he actually finally wakes up and gets up for the day.
Twice, he actually slept through with no wakings, but they were definitely flukes!!
When he wakes, DH and I give him around 5 minutes to see if he will go back to sleep on his own. I don't really think of this as controlled crying and I haven't really read any books/methods about different sleep techniques. We just think it's common sense! We're just waiting to see what happens before we rush in.
Around 50% of the time he will groan/cry/murmer/coo for 4-5 mins and then go back to sleep on his own. And then the other 50% of the time he doesn't go back to sleep or sounds like he is getting distressed, and then we go in, rub his tummy gently whilst saying shhhhh, shhhhh, and we put his dummy in. He then goes back to sleep.
Like I say above, we have had some good nights where he has only woken up once and has gone back to sleep on his own, and we have had some bad nights where he has woken every 90 minutes, and we have had to go into him 5 times. It seems very variable but the one certainty is that his sleep is definitely poorer in the latter stages of the night. He pretty much always stirs around 4am. I read somewhere that babies go into a very light sleep cycle around that time of night, which rings true to me.
Anyway, with our ups and downs, I would definitely say the pattern is improving and has improved between week 12 and week 16: for example, if he stirs between 7pm-10pm, he now always manages to go back to sleep within 3-4 minutes of low-level crying, which we hear on the monitor. We are hoping he will get better and better at this 'self settling' until he's eventually able to do it consistently at 2am, 4am etc as well! For the time being, I am happy to take a 50% success rate in the wee small hours.
I don't think that 'pausing to see whether baby goes back to sleep' for 2, 3 or 4 minutes before rushing in to him/her is a cruel thing to do, and in my experience, it hasn't involved any of the horrid scenes of me weeping on the sofa as DH screams himself sick in the bedroom, which you might expect from 'controlled crying'.
Sorry for the mammoth post but just wanted to give an alternative view
Hi DangerMousey, thanks for your 'alternative' view, I agree with you, I think it's worthwhile pausing, I just didn't know if she was too young, with my DS, I didn't do this until about 6 months, but he had chronic colic so there was no point before then....oh the memories!! I think DD is fairly good at self settling some of the time, just when it's the dead of night, you're not fully in charge of all your strength are you and quite often just go with the path of least resistance! Thanks, I feel a bit more reassured now xx
Afaik babies this age generally have one 6-8 hour period when they sleep deeply, this is their "night" iyswim. it sounds like her "night" used to start quite late after spending the evening with you, and would therefore finish in the morning, but you've now moved it earlier to start at 7.30/8, so her deep sleep period/"night" is now finished at 3am. Does that make sense?
I have one who is the same age. This is normal stuff mate
Don't panic about how long it will last. You can count on getting some sleep by the time she is 2-3-4ish, but anything beyond that is an unknown quantity atm.
Roll with it, babies have weird rhythms and I don't think it's something we can ultimately control.
I always leave ds for a few minutes to see if he will go back to sleep, he sucks his thumb though so can self settle if not hungry. Never, ever let him cry though. 12 weeks is still really tiny I would just do whatever you can to get the most sleep.
If ds wakes and isn't hungry I tend to bring him into bed and move him back into his cot once he's asleep.
Btw he's 19 weeks and I'm lucky to get four hours at the moment.
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