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Co sleeping 9m/o can't sleep unless I'm next to her

(5 Posts)
Lilipaddle Thu 04-Apr-13 15:24:58

DD is 9 m/o and for her day naps either has to be in a sling, or led on the bed with me next to her. The instant I try to sneak away she flings her arms out and wakes up, and if I do manage to get away without her waking up it will last a minute or 2 max before she wakes up screaming.
This means at night she has to sleep downstairs with me holding her until I go up to bed, so I am literally never away from her. She will go down for about 5-10 minutes to play, then want holding again.

Any advice on how to continue co-sleeping, but help with the "superglue" aspect of her would be so helpful!!

sherbetpips Fri 05-Apr-13 12:45:51

We didnt co-sleep but my DS was a 'holder'. Never played on a playmat, etc. My MIL got him to nap in the day by putting him in the pushchair inside (usually in the kitchen) and rocking it back and forth until he went to sleep, carried on for a bit then stopped. Surprisingly it worked. We also did the putting the chair outside thing but I know some people dont like that.
He would not nap in the cot ever and to be honest that worked out for the best in the end as it meant we didnt have to rush home at nap time.

SquidgersMummy Fri 05-Apr-13 21:53:17

Hey Lili I think you are me but a month ahead! We are the same: ebf and feeds to sleep for naps (unless in buggy or carseat). Cosleeps at night. At night I feed to sleep, she goes off deeply and I have 15-30 mins to whizz round and then she notices I have gone and is awake. I just had to take her back down so I could eat. Makes no sense at all! I'm tired so happy to have an earlier bedtime than DH but am thinking we have to break this habit. I have started doing all naps on the bed with a view to next week moving on to sitting by her and patting...then naps alone. Not very confident it will work though. I go back to work when she's 1 so we have to sort this though. My MIL is going to be looking after her. Have you any other ideas? We are happy to have her in our bed till she's 1 (we do have an attached cot that I occasionally wake up in smile) but currently no way to get her to sleep for a few hours before I do. X

MoreSnowPlease Sat 06-Apr-13 10:40:10

We had the same thing with DS and have only tackled naps. I would rock him in buggy or walk outside in buggy and every time he cried I would take him out, calm him and then put back in. It meant he was only in the buggy for a few minutes each time but it did work and I felt better about doing that than letting him cry. This was when he was about 2/3 months old. Now 9 mo and goes to sleep when put in buggy without even rocking!good luck

SquidgersMummy Sat 06-Apr-13 13:20:46

Hi Lili - we have a friend in the family who is a consultant breast feeding nurse - luckily for us we have caught up with her today. So I explained Squidger can only go to sleep with booby - in brief she says not to worry - she says to try and take a longer view approach in that when she's 2/3 she will be so confident and secure and that she will learn to self settle but perhaps by 12/18mths. She suggested always having something - like a t-shirt - when we sleep - so eventually Squidger can have or even wear the t-shirt when sleeping alone. She thinks the same as I do about CIO type approaches - ie why undo all your hard work building up an attachment. I am worried about returning to work - Squidger likes water - apparently lots of little ones do fine on water (if not she said expressed milk in a sippy cup) and then catch up on booby first and last thing and over night. Squidger will sleep in the buggy or car so she could do this if I am at work. She has said if we bf till 1 it's fairer to then let Squidger stop if her own time (as by then they have more views on things) but of course weaning is never impossible at any point. So for us it's been reassuring. I'll try the t-shirt idea and keep naps on the bed and will see what happens but I feel less pressured to 'do' something. So I guess I just have to enjoy the naps on the bed for now wink It would be nice to have dinner or watch tv with DH but maybe its just not going to happen just yet. If I leave she wakes - when she's really sound asleep I'm ready for bed anyway! Not ideal but I feel better for the reassurance that Squidger isnt behind with self-settling - she thinks its too early to expect it as a skill. Hope this is helpful to pass on. PM me if it helps too. She has said to email her updates so I could always pick her brains again. X

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