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no cry sleep support thread anyone?

(73 Posts)
sparklekitty Wed 03-Apr-13 15:22:18

Ok so my DD is 6mo, ebf and co-sleeps atm. She wakes every 2 hours if I'm lucky and I'm shattered!

After reading lots of posts recommending NCSS I finally read it and have plan for getting our little pickle into her own room and sleeping 12 hours longer than she does now.

I've ordered a camping mattress for her room so I can sleep in there to start and waiting for a lovely light show thingy to arrive. Once Mr Royal Mail has delivered these magic items I'm ready to go.

However, as my DD wont do more than 10 mins in her cot atm I am more than aware that things will probably get much harder before they get better.

Anyone fancy a support thread to keep up spirits and share good and not so good experiences?

Pleasesleep Tue 16-Apr-13 07:07:11

Could I join? I am absolutely desperate with my ds. He's 9 months and my night goes something like this:

6pm bath
6.30 start feeding to sleep
7pm falls asleep put down in cot
8.30 wakes
9.30 wakes
10pm wakes
2am wakes for about an hour and a half
4am wakes for an hour
5.30 up for the day.

He will not settle for anything other than me feeding him to sleep. Is the Ncss any good? Part of the problem is I'm so tired I don't want to do anything that means I get LESS sleep! I know that's silly....

SamraLee Mon 15-Apr-13 10:06:57

My daughter seems to be going through an ultra clingy phase right now, plus I think she is trying as hard as she can to walk which I think isn't helping. I think she's been teething for what seems like 3 months now and her nappy rash is coming back. At least she's never had a cold.

We are just trying to make it through. I'm going to talk to my husband about having him take over at night and see what he thinks. I can't decide if we should wean her off night feeds because I think she does it mostly for comfort, or if I should just let her nurse and enjoy the closeness while it lasts. When she sleeps at her grandma's house she refuses any milk at night and only wakes up once, but when she is at home she nurses all night.

That said, welcome new comers.

miniegg I'm sorry I don't have any experience with silent reflux and I don't have any advice. I know there are ways to help prop baby up to help with reflux at night, but I'm not sure what they are.

MrsNpatt I know what you mean about stressing about all the sleep training. When I first started doing the various things with my daughter I notice I was clenching my jaw because of the stress! I found the PPO helped with getting her to sleep in the cot and starting to fall asleep without nursing. I tried all the ideas in the book (that were relevant to me) and I still nurse my daughter to sleep many times a night. It will get better though.

ratbagAgain, I don't have any experience with Reflux, but most advice I have read doesn't suggest trying sleep training on babies until they are much older. Five weeks is very young, however if you have money to spend, my husband and I were desperate enough that we ordered and used a Cocoonababy which helped her sleep for a long time. We stopped around 4 months when she rolled out of it, as it was no longer safe. That is suppose to help with the reflux and you would be able to put it inside the cot to help her get use to the cot.

ratbagcatbag Mon 15-Apr-13 08:43:13

Hi ladies

Can I join please? My dd is only five weeks old so have just ordered the ncss book, but I'm worried as I return full time in sept to work so need to have something other than 1hour stints. The problem I've got is dd has just been diagnosed with reflux and now on medication, so after every feed she needs to sit upright on me for at least thirty mins. She will settle for about an hour in Moses basket, then wakes hungry again. Although I just cradled her on me last night and she did four hours!!!!!!
She's never been in her cot yet, it's not even got the bedding in, is it worth now playing with her in it to start getting her used to it?

MrsNPattz Sun 14-Apr-13 21:07:03

Hi I would really like to join you guys please! My little man is 7 months and I have been majorly stressing about routines/sleep training etc to the point where I'm tearful, anxious and rowing with hubby. So we have decided to abandon it all for a few weeks, apart from PPO. I started that yesterday and am going to stick with it as he will not fall asleep at night without being fed. He is waking 2-4 times a night. I am part way through the book and like some other ideas but not trying anything else until I have calmed down and cleared my head! Glad to know I'm not alone though and just off to finish reading the rest of the thread!

miniegg1980 Sun 14-Apr-13 20:44:18

Hi everyone, hope things are going well for you all.

Wondered if I could have your advice. My DS2 (9months) has always slept in his cot during the day and at 7pm no problem at too. The problems can start as early as 8pm. He wakes and just screams. Its not for milk as since going on the bottle last week he doesn't want it at night.

If I'm not ready for bed I rock him back to sleep in his carseat. Other wise he wants to be on my chest with me sleeping sitting up.

He's just been diagnosed with silent reflux and the pead wants me to do controlled crying with him to get him back in his cot.

I don't want to do this as I hate it and also don't think its fair on DS1 aged 3.

Anyone got any ideas? confused

DrMcDreamysWife Fri 12-Apr-13 21:17:39

That's sweet mrs koala, my dd likes to kneed me with her hands claws which I find pretty unpleasant at 2am.

How's everyone doing?! Dd went down at 7 no bother, woke at half seven, comforted without feeding again quite easily but is now crying her heart out while dh tries to comfort her before I give in and just feed her back to sleep sad

Anyone made any progress?

MrsKoala Wed 10-Apr-13 15:24:00

Well i've had a mixed blessing in that DS actually doesn't really like milk or boob that much. He doesn't really get comfort from it. It means he has never really bothered about night feeding but also that he wont drink much and we had to wean at 4mo as he was dropping weight.

If he needs comfort, he likes to stroke my face.

DrMcDreamysWife Wed 10-Apr-13 12:53:55

I know mrs koala it's all about the dh isn't it?! I would just really like to cuddle up to him once in awhile instead of her ladyship dd!! Although she does demand feeding still a lot even if in with me. I'm now developing h a fear she'll be demanding boob several times a night in years to come?! Did you see bedtime live with the little boy who asked for 'gok' his word for breastmilk all night long. He was over two!

MrsKoala Wed 10-Apr-13 11:34:00

I totally caved last night and took DS in with me at 10.30. We slept all the way round to 5. At about 1 i slid him away to the other side of the bed (DH away atm) and he slept there happily and we both had the best night sleep in yonks. Even at 5 i just rocked him a bit and brought him closer to me and he slept again to nearly 8am.

If it wasn't for wanting to sleep in the same bed as DH, i'd be happy with that every night <sigh>

DrMcDreamysWife Wed 10-Apr-13 10:42:04

It's just such hard work isn't it? After a week of trying to do ppo and get her in cot I broke down last night about 10 and couldn't stop crying. Basically because I was just so exhausted and was desperate for sleep but she wouldn't let my dh comfort or settle her and was just screaming for me. So obviously I relented but I was just so tired...

My dh so wants to help but she just will only occasionally let him help and it's just sooo tiring. Bumped into a friend in the park yesterday who was whingibg about her babies sleep problems,apparently her 5 mo will only sleep for 6-7 hours at night and then needs feeding. I wanted to scream at her 'that's not a problwm!' I kept my mouth shut about my dd's sleep.

Anyway a agree with you sparkle...I seem to end up with more sleep if I just let her cuddle in bed with me and let her feed when she stirs every 2 hours...and we need sleep to do the training?!

sparklekitty Wed 10-Apr-13 09:50:10

Last night was a def back to sq 1. I had an awful stomach ache and mini sparkle was teething. Did bedtime routine and even feeding her didn't send her off so I gave up before I started! Took her to bed at 7.30, fed her laying down and fed her to sleep every time she woke.

I was so tired I had the best nights sleep for ages. DD still fed every 2 1/2 hours (and she seemed hungry) and neither of us woke in between those times! If every night was like that I really wouldn't be bothering with sleep training!

DH is on nights for next 3 days so I've decided that I'm going to keep her in bed with me and work on self settling/stretching out time between feeds. As there will be more room in our bed she can also gets used to not sleeping snuggled up to me although this is the bit I love I really need to catch up on my sleep again before trying anew

MrsKoala Tue 09-Apr-13 20:41:40

Well ds has gone down - he usually goes to bed at 8-8.30 but fell asleep spontaneously after his bath at 7.30pm. He has woken at 8.30 and been boobed but went straight back...

Selenium Tue 09-Apr-13 20:30:06

Sounds like the general consensus is that things are getting worse before they get better! Perhaps that's to be expected from a gentle solution though? Each day I start with new resolve to continue with the NCSS strategies but as bedtime approaches, I lose the energy/enthusiasm to do anything but the path of least resistance (feeding completely to sleep, etc...)

SamraLee - that's interesting that your dd is the same! It's kind of nice knowing they want us to be there right next to them, I suppose!

Tonight has started better though - the PPO actually worked! Well, he cried for about 10 seconds, I put a hand on him to let him know I was there and he drifted off to sleep. I keep expecting to hear him over the monitor though - the night is young!

Hope you all have better nights tonight...

Cravingdairy Tue 09-Apr-13 19:09:49

Last night was horrendous! Our girl was up from 230 till 6. We had to sit with her in shifts. Definitely forging ahead with the PPO tonight!

SamraLee Tue 09-Apr-13 14:09:23

MrsKoala, does your son wear a sleeping bag? I don't really have a problem with my daughter crawling around, but I bet it can be very frustrating. I find that the sleeping bag limits my daughter's movements a bit, maybe it would help your son not wiggle quite so much? She does manage to get around though as she likes to roll over looking for me and likes to sleep on her belly. My daughter tended to rol land roll when I put her down in the cot awake, I found out I had to rock her first until she was sleepy, I wait until her eyes have been closed for 5 seconds minimum and then put her in the cot.

sparkle that is really great news! I hope you keep progressing and try to stay strong, I know it can be hard. At least there weren't very many tears, I know it's easier to give in when there are tears.

selenium I know what you mean about being dectected, this is exactly how my daughter is. When I first put my daughter in our bedside cot I had to lay in the cot with her and then wiggle away and it didn't always work still doesn't sometimes I wish I had something more helpful, but for what it's worth you have my sympathy.

I think I'm going to have to wean her off night time feeds because we had her wakeups down to 2 a night and last night she woke up 6 times! She will tkae a dummy during the day and at night when she goes to sleep, but if she wakes up in the middle of the night she screams and pushes the dummy away. If I actually manage to get her to take one and then I lay her down with it, she takes it out and throws it. I've resorted to breastfeeding her on demand at night to make it easier, but I think it's just made it harder as she seems to wake up even more. We might try my husband sleeping next to her at night and seeing if that helps.

MrsKoala Tue 09-Apr-13 10:22:06

sad after last night i'm considering the pros and cons of having DS co-sleep till he's 25. i don't think i can do this. like Selenium it seems to be getting worse. Now DS can crawl he just crawls all round the bed squealing.

Yesterday i found his legs trapped between the bars of his cot - he had pushed them backwards while crawling and then got his chubby thighs trapped.

sparklekitty Tue 09-Apr-13 10:20:06

Well...last night was night 1 of 'operation camp out in DD room'. I fed her almost to sleep then in the cot, she woke up briefly then drifted off with some sshhing.

She woke a few times, sometimes she needed a bit of sshhing to drift of, a few times she'd gone off before I had properly come around and got to her grin

She woke properly every 2 1/2 hours and wouldn't be settled so I fed her, she was obviously hungry as she fed for 15 mins each time.

She finally woke at 3.30, 2 hours after being fed and wouldn't settle with sshhing. I rocked her back to sleep but she wouldn't go back in the cot so I went to our bed with her.

For a first proper night it was hard work, def more tiring than feeding to sleep, even every hour. I'm shattered but it feels like a positive start. I think I have to accept its going to be worse before it gets better but I need to keep persevering with it. She has shown she can do longer stretches and can self settle a little bit. Best thing was there were hardly any tears grin

Fingers crossed tonight is another step forward not a step back

Selenium Tue 09-Apr-13 09:44:47

I decided to start trying some of the methods two nights ago but it seems to be making things worse, not better, so far! Have been doing the PPO at bedtime and during night feeds and also popping ds back into his cot (which is right next to bed with the side off so not too different to normal!) after all feeds, rather than cosleeping.

Took me 2 hours to get him to sleep last night rather than the usual 30 mins of feeding to sleep! After the pull-off, he would just wake up properly and then we'd need to start feeding all over again. Sigh...

And he's so good at detecting when I'm right next to him in the bed. Takes me an age to get him to settle back down in his cot after a feed (and it's hard staying awake when I'm used to just latching him on lying down and going back to sleep myself!) and then he wakes after about an hour. I can actually see him rolling from side to side in his cot looking for me, before he gets upset. sad

Now I'm starting to wonder if cosleeping is easier. I'm going to give this at least another week though and see if we start to see an improvement soon. Hope others are getting better luck than me!

MrsKoala Mon 08-Apr-13 23:24:06

DS cannot self settle. Last night he woke at 1am till 3.30, crawling and laughing round the bed. We played the Tomy night music thing so much the batteries died and the poor thing lost the will to live - a bit like me.

He has just woken up and is now playing with a toy remote control. I am so rubbish at this confused

Cravingdairy Mon 08-Apr-13 23:23:06

Can I join? Mine is 19 months and nothing in NCSS worked when we first tried sad but I want to have another go as I need to go away for a night in June. Today was supposed to be the first day trying the Pantley Pull Off again after total lack of success on previous occasions.Unfortunately she is teething and it took aaaages to settle her so no progress tonight. Tomorrow is another day and I will also be trying the lovey again. That was even less successful than the PPO! Good luck everyone.

SamraLee Mon 08-Apr-13 20:46:22

My baby can also self settle, but much prefers to have boob all night! She loves a cuddle and a breastfeed, I'm sure as most babies do, and so she just likes the cuddle to sleep.

An example of my little monkey is I put her to bed last night and she went to bed in her cot when she was awake, when she woke up at 11:00ish she cried so I picked her up and cuddle her, she cried harder. I tried her dummy, tried rocking her, tried patting, tried shushing, tried having her lay on top of me, nothing was working. Finally I asked, Do you want milk? and the adorable little thing instantly stopped crying and actually giggled with glee, after that I gave in and thought if this is all it takes to make her happy I'll do it.

ElphabaTheGreen Mon 08-Apr-13 19:01:54

DS can self-settle - he just prefers not to! So don't be too disappointed if you crack that particular nut only to find it makes no difference.

This is a fantastic blog entry on how self-settling is most certainly not the holy grail to unlocking unbroken nights.

sparklekitty Mon 08-Apr-13 17:00:34

My DH took our LO to we weighed today and was chatting to HV and breastfeeding specialist about DD sleep. Breastfeeding sp suggested giving a dose of calpol an hour before bed while trying to get them to self settle, that way you know the tears are not linked to cold/teeth/pain confused Not sure what I reckon on that.

Tonight it the first night of me starting in her room trying to get her in te cot.

HV said the key is getting them to self settle, the rest will fall in place after that. Not sure if I should focus on the self settling thing in our bed first and if we're doing too much at one time or if I should just do it all in one go. I guess we'll see how tonight goes.

I've posted a question on the Tanya Byron web chat thing for tonight.

Goodkingwalkingslass Sun 07-Apr-13 22:24:09

Ha ha I am the same as some of you lot tonight, Ds has cold and horrible cough so there will be no trying the cot for us till he's better. We have cot pushed right up to the bed, will take side off tomorrow and try getting him in there like that. The irony is that until he was 4mo he slept in a Bednest attached to the bed but outgrew that so came into the bed. Should have just switched him to a 3-sided cot then!

sparklekitty Sun 07-Apr-13 21:45:24

That's reassuring to know koala. Our DD has been 'teething' as in everything moving around and causing her pain, from about 10 weeks and still no damn tooth!

I'm am def going to try that wake to sleep idea, esp for napping as this one is terrible for doing 40/45 mins then wide awake. Great idea, thanks grin

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