DS is 21 months and I sit with him to fall asleep. Have done ever since he stopped feeding to sleep! He used to settle himself for naps but now I sit with him for those too, he stopped self settling when we moved house about 6 weeks ago.
So over the last couple of weeks I have progressed from rubbing his back to just sitting there, but he needs an awful lot of verbal reassurance. It takes half an hour and he says 'mama? mama?' over and over again for pretty much all of that time. Drives me mental as he doesn't want to know during the day - won't give me a cuddle full stop and yet offers kisses and cuddles to all the grandparents non stop! Anyway, I respond to his 'mama?' with a shush, and an occasional 'mummy's here', but it doesn't seem to be getting any easier. I spend the whole time sitting on my hands as its so hard to resist stroking him! But it takes so long and I am beginning to dread bedtimes, so it has to stop!
I don't know how to move the chair further away if he just keeps asking for me. I want to avoid tears at all costs. HV suggested popping out to do chores but I think it would just hype him up, he wouldn't get it and would just keep standing up looking for me or calling me. I don't think he's cry necessarily, but he wouldn't lie down and sleep. And when I return, I'd have to start the whole process from scratch?
I think one of the reasons I haven't pushed myself to take it further is that I can't face the inevitable few days of him taking hours to get to sleep. It feels like sitting with him is the easy option. At the moment I put him in bed around 645 and he's asleep by 715-730. (Have tried putting him in bed later, it still takes him 30 mins minimum to wind down) If I start leaving the room, the whole process will take so much longer. And he is such a nightmare if he goes to sleep late - he'll wake super early the next day and be in a grump for the rest of the day.
But I guess a few days of that is the price I have to pay to get him to self settle?
SO what should I do next?
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Gradual retreat - what's my next move?
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sleepcrisis · 26/03/2013 20:57
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