10 month old sleep issues(201 Posts)
She's 10 months.she's never slept more than three hours. The last two weeks she's been waking 6-10 times a night. She screams so loud that she wakes the neighbours, who I can hear talking now. She's already been screaming six times tonight since 10pm. It's like torture. It's effecting how i feel about her, I'm genuinely less patient, I just hate her right now.
Hate co sleeping, can't sleep with her next to me in my arm pit pinching me and sucking. Can't stand the nagging feeling that that's the reason she sleeps so crap. Can 't do cc anymore either, the noise of her crying just makes me sob and feel like my head is going to explode. She doesn't give in either, none of this cries for an hour the first night, but sleeping happily ever after by the third. She just screams for hours until she gets fed.
I hate this. I don't know what to do
I hope you're sleeping right now OP
Just wanted to say I remember sobbing to OH that I really did not like our baby (inside it felt much more like hate but I was already ashamed of 'not liking' him) after three months of no sleep at all.
Things got better after reflux meds and white noise and I instantly was totally in love again, so take heart and don't worry about your bond it's just been sleep frazzled.
I hope you get some answers from GP on Monday and might be worth a try with white noise if you haven't already. Best advice I had was that it needs to be loud and constant,, not just for 15 mins while they fall asleep, as it sooths them from one sleep cycle to the next. This is definitely true IME but is also why I'm currently sitting in a tropical rain storm...
My sympathies, my baby was the same from about 8 months, starting to settle down now at 13 months. I have no answers other than YANBU to say such feelings in a safe place. And you are obviously a good mum as you are clearly ttrying to do the best thing by your baby. Trust your own feelings and try what you feel is worth trying. Let everything non- essential go until this period passes. I feel like we are just coming out of that tunnel now .... So many eight months-plus babies sum do
Sorry - so many babies simply do not sleep! I've had three and they are all fantastically bright and healthy ... It's the parents' health at risk!
DS is just the same. He's 7 months old and of late, cannot sleep for more than 45 mins without sucking on my nipples/feeding. We co-slept last night as usual (not by choice, only way that I can get any sleep) and I doubt that I had more than an hour t a stretch. I'm exhausted. Can't do gentle cc as it would wake DD.
He refuses bottles (hysterical when they are offered).
Like TessTing123, my DD was like this & it turned out she had dairy allergies (and others). Was waking every 45 minutes screaming.
She improved quickly once both she & I went off dairy. She still isn't a brilliant sleeper, but she's nowhere near as bad as she was.
Another thing that seemed to help longer term was getting her to settle herself to sleep when I first put her down to bed (I still feed her to sleep overnight). The better she got at that, the fewer wake ups we had.
Hang in there. It WILL get better,
Mine all reached that point around nine months. I weaned them cold turkey, and the sleeping improved immediately.
Mine probably weren't quite as bad as your daughter, but they woke every couple of hours, had a few sucks of breast milk then went straight back to sleep, so not even a proper feed. They just needed the comfort of teh breast to get back to sleep - all well and good if you don't have to function the day.
Wean her, then try CC again, would be my advice.
Oh you poor thing. YANBU we have all felt like this at some point even if for some it was fleeting. Everything you feel is ok, it's actions that count at this stage.
In terms of trying everything, I'd go with the following:
Is she warm enough? Add a layer, see if it settles her. Obviously not to the point of overheating though.
Dummy - they are not nice but sleep deprivatiOn is worse. Buy every type, keep trying.
Check out going dairy free it might help. Keep a food diary and monitor her behaviour too in it, see if you can spot a pattern.
Give her some calpol, see if it helps.
Leave her with DH, go and sleep elsewhere at a friends, family, a hotel. She and he will be ok, you need the help more at the moment.
My DS2 is a similar age and also up loads. DS1 was sleeping through at least sometimes by now so its hard as I'd been hoping for a bit of a rest! He goes in his cot at first.and I keep putting him back till I just can't be bothered.
Then he's in with me as I need some sleep - I've been back at work ft since he was 7Mo.
I'm currently reading the No Cry Sleep solution but am too sleepy to follow it!
I don't do leaving to cry but he shares a room with his brother anyway.
I was feeling the irrational rage myself last night when he was taking ages to settle. He'd feed for ages so handed him to DH and he then stayed up playing for ages.
Good luck! I'm sure they will sleep one day. . .
It might help to get a rubber teat (some boots do then) rather than a silicon one. My 1st wouldn't take a bottle until I was recommended this teat. It must mean my boobies are rubbery ;).
Good luck keep the mantra. It's only a phase and that this to will pass
Hope that you have managed some sleep.Blooming babies,break your heart dont they?My DD was lucky that me and her dad live nearby so when DGS,then later DGD went on a crying jag we were able to share the load.Do you have parents nearby?God bless you anyway and hope that you can work something out. Mx.
Doesn't sound right, so I'd second the gp idea. My DC feeds a lot in the night (every 3 hours) if I've been at work all day so there's been little milk going in for the 10 hours I'm at work. Your DC sounds hungry/tummy achey - what is her eating like? If she won't take a bottle, can you add some very milky baby rice/porridge/readybrek (anything to make the milk taste different lol) to her diet to get some formula in and see if that helped her sleep at night? I've been told if they eat enough during the day they will naturally sleep more at night, and it does seem to be true - at weekends my baby sleeps 6-7 hours at night without waking as I've been there to bf all day.
Please speak you your doctor and really consider seeing a cranial osteopath, it worked wonders with my babies. It's not you, it's not even the bf or cosleeping, they are wonderful things for babies. Seek support and advice. X
Bless, yous all made me cry again. Thought I'd get a flaming for saying I hate her. Thank you for understanding.
I ended up co sleeping about half four, so had a couple of hour uncomfortable light sleep with her in my arm pit. Then DS woke up.
Been like this for so long, over a year as I couldn't sleep the last bit of my pregnancy for spd and heartburn. Don't know how I'm still going. Look about a decade older
I'll look at your suggestions later with a clear(er) head. DH has got up with the kids so I'm going to try and go back to sleep for a bit.
Just feel broken. Ache all over, feel sick, getting every virus going, eating shite, no patience, no fun.
I may get flamed for this but I would stop BFing. She will take a bottle if breast is not an option. Within a couple of weeks the desire to nurse all night will go and then it will be much easier to sort out sleeping.
I returned to work when mine wee 9 month old BFed bottle refuses. Thru continued to refuse milk from anything but a breast so they took to wanting to feed all night to make up for my absent days. I therefore fear things may get worse for you next week. Maybe see how it goes, I may be wrong.
Just to add, whilst the advice to stop breastfeeding is possibly sound, I would get her checked by your GP before doing so in case it's something else as you don't want to stop, find that it hasn't helped and regret the decision. I'm only saying this because I was breastfeeding and my son was waking every 45 minutes, and I was convinced he needed night weaning at least. I did night wean him and it didn't help as he had other issues that meant he was waking up in pain and the sucking was just the only comfort he had to relieve it and distract himself. I'm so glad I didn't actually give up breastfeeding as I would have really regretted it (not least because I was still fairly sleep deprived at the time and hence a little over emotional!).
It's ok to feel the way you do, completely normal for your circumstances!
A few suggestions you may or may not have tried
Muslin, my dd will not take a dummy but won't sleep with out something in her mouth so she ended up with a corner of muslin. ( after months of sleeping how you describe!)
Scratch mits, to stop her pinching you. If she just gets these off you can get sleep suits with them built in
Music, I have a symphony lullabies cd my mum bought me, no explanation but wow it really helped her settle.
If you think her cry is pained as opposed to temper/ fear/ need for comfort please do take her to gp.
I don't know how much family support you have but if your in or around edinburgh and would like a bit of help feel free to pm me
Please don't hate yourself for feeling like this, sleep deprivation does horrible things to us, it will pass x
If you would like a e copy of no cry sleep pm me.
I know where you are right now. Been there, done it and still do it in cycles now.
I found starting with settling her in cot for first part of night worked, me going bed early then bringing her in with me worked. I have a cot sidecarred to my bed to give us extra space which I think helped as meant I could move her over away from me which encouraged her to have own space.
I don't think nightweaning is the magic solution.
We used millpond sleep consultants, the results were amazing. This it cost about £250.
My Ds1 did this at about the same age. I managed to get him onto a dummy at about 11m old having had a few months of waking every hour or so for one sip of boob! He didnt stop BFing til 18m (and that was only really due to the imminent arrival of his little brother) so you don't have to stop if you don't want to.
Am at exactly the same stage now with DS2, just he's 10m and won't sleep with a dummy yet, but is just about getting the hang of sucking it in the day...
Sounds stupid and basic but is she getting some teeth coming through?
Another one who went through this and it turned out to be dairy allergy (and other allergies).
Could you try eliminating dairy and see if there's an improvement?
I feel for you! You poor thing. My DS2 is the same, I co-sleep as it's the only way to get any sleep, I wouldn't be able to function if I didn't. He's 1 now and still breastfeeds a lot, wakes several times a night, he usually feeds back to sleep but sometimes has stretches of 1-2hrs where he's awake climbing all over me.
During the day he's really clingy and needs constant stimulation. I've never come across another baby like him, very very difficult (DS1 is the easiest child ever, they're opposites).
All I can say is that it isn't anything you're doing/not doing, you aren't making her like this, it's just the way she is. Google "high needs baby" I found that helpful.
It took me a long time to truly bond with DS2, he just seemed to scream constantly unless he was attached to my boob for the first 9 months of his life. I'm ashamed to say I sometimes wished I'd never had him (I didn't really wish that, just at 3am when he's still screaming and I haven't slept, I'd find myself sobbing wondering why the hell I had another baby). I never feel like that now, he's still really demanding, he still doesn't sleep, I still get no time to myself BUT he has his own little personality emerging and he such a lovely lovely baby, he's very smiley (when not screaming) and very sociable.
Yesterday he was waving at the table eating his dinner with a massive grin on his face and giggling. I love him to bits but it took a while.
I hate breastfeeding and I hate co-sleeping but it's the easiest option by far and there's no way I could stop either before DS is ready. I have now accepted that this is what he needs and it won't last forever! For now I have learnt to just go with it and I'm much less stressed and get more sleep.
My DD was like this, she was up up to 9 times a night, we co-slept through necessity and she wanted to BF all night, wouldn't take a bottle. We did get her on bottles eventually, once I went back to work, at nursery - I know that all except my first son ( i have 4) rejected those clear silicon teats and much preferred latex (the brown ones) for both bottles and dummies, and both my boys were bottle refusers until they had playtex bottles (hard to find, but well known as useful for fussy babies) and my daughter would only use adiri breast-shaped bottles - the whole top squishes like a breast - they do leak a bit sometimes and are pricey but honestly by that stage I didn't care!
The other thing that saved my sanity was moving her into her own room and buying a lights-and-sounds mobile that is triggered immediately she cries. My daughter likes the music ones and hers is a Winnie the Pooh one, but you can also get white noise makers, ocean sounds etc. Then we used it religously as part of her bedtime routine and it came on in the night when she cried. I am not going to lie to you and say that she immediately slept through but it did get a lot better - it went down to about 2 or 3 times a night, then once or twice...I continued a quick night time breastfeed if she continued crying and wouldn't settle until she was almost 2 (!) and then spent a few difficult nights refusing her the breast, by then she was able to understand better and now she is almost 3 and has been sleeping through virtually every night (barring illness or nightmares) for the past almost year. She still has her lights and sounds mobile, it's cost us a fortune in batteries, and she has a dummy (didn't take it until she was about 18 months, but none of mine took dummies when they were tiny - they were 8 months, 6 months, 11 months and 18 months respectively, and all off with no problems aged just 3).
Best of luck, I remember that strange co-sleeping half sleep so well....
mine also woke every hour till I night weaned.
hope you got some sleep this morning
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