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Sick of it

(12 Posts)
jenbird Tue 26-Feb-13 06:25:02

My 13 week old dd2 (dc4) will not sleep and I feel it is ruining my life. I am starting to resent her. She started off sleeping well at night and I could cope with the crap day sleeps. For the last 3 weeks she is unsettled from 5 am until she finally has a poo about 20 minutes later. I then have to change her which means she is then awake. She will go back to sleep eventually at about half six by which time the others are starting to get up for school so I don't get the extra sleep. I should go to bed earlier but I have to do all the chores when all the kids are in bed so I don't normally get to bed before half eleven.
She is awful at naps too. Yesterday she had the total of 1 hour in three 20 minute batches. It's not as if she doesn't need it. She is miserable when tired. She will sleep if we are on the move I.e the school run but as soon as we stop moving she wakes up. If I put her to sleep in the day she wakes up within 15 minutes of me moving away from her. My ds2 understandably won't allow me the time to sort out the naps (he is 2.9). They are both at home with me all day with no option for nursery until September.
I am exhausted, my house is in ruins and I am a shit parent because of it. How can I sort this out?

Sheila Tue 26-Feb-13 06:34:48

I don't have any answers Jen but lots of sympathy. My DS was the same - fought sleep during the day and at night. With him (in retrospect) I can see it was separation anxiety. Eventually at 3.5 yo he started sleeping through, with lots of night lights and when I stopped trying to get him to sleep during the day.

Not sure if this helps, but please know that it WILL get better.

Can your OH do more to give you a break?

KnittedCharacter Tue 26-Feb-13 07:01:17

What time is your lo going to bed in the evening?

jenbird Tue 26-Feb-13 07:27:37

She goes to bed anytime between half six and seven. By six she has generally just had it. She normally sleeps soundly until 11 ish.
My oh does what he can but is currently on a mattress on the floor in the boys room to stop ds getting up. He also leaves for work at seven. He does let me catch up on the weekend but he is pretty knackered too.

KnittedCharacter Tue 26-Feb-13 07:57:03

Then what happens after she has woken at 11 ?

jenbird Tue 26-Feb-13 12:57:14

She feeds back to sleep after that. As we co sleep I am not really disturbed by her until about 5. I am sure it is a poo issue too. If it wasn't for that I think she would go back to sleep. She is still averaging between 5-10 pools per day. She is refluxey and I have a fast let down so she is always full of wind which makes her poo explode out although the quantity isn't great. I am sorry for being so negative. I just feel so defeated.

Fairylea Tue 26-Feb-13 13:04:59

I have had two early risers and non nappers. The only way is to literally give over to the 5am starts (as to me it sounds like that's when she wants to get up) and let the housework slide and head to bed yourself at 8.30 / 9 for a bit.

I've managed 8 months with ds doing this! And my older one is at school too so I know what you mean about the school run issue.

It's awful and I do understand how you feel but I think if you can let things go a bit for now gradually it will improve.

Ds went a record 12 hours straight with no nap at about 10 weeks. I tried everything. Literally everything. He was having none of it.

At 8 months he now wakes 5-5.30ish, has two short naps a a day and is in bed at 6. I can't change his routine so unfortunately I just go with it and sod the housework. When he is 2 and is in nursery I will do it then! I just do washing, dishwasher and cooking usually with ds in his bouncy thing watching me..

FlouncingMintyy Tue 26-Feb-13 13:05:18

Perhaps your other dc slept better, but honestly I would say that her sleep sounds pretty good for a 13 week old!

Can you not do those chores that keep you up til 11.30pm in the early morning? Or ask your dp to do them so that you can go to bed early?

For early morning wakings at this age the only thing is to try and get your bodyclock more in synch with your baby's, if you possibly can.

Sorry you are feeling so tired brew.

WowOoo Tue 26-Feb-13 13:30:54

Oh you poor thing.
I remember those exhausting days and it's hideous.

Is there anything in your diet that affects the milk and her poos do you think?

Do you think you could be a bit firmer with ds2 and tell him what he needs to do to help you all in a nice way? Or tell him that he's old enough now to stay in bed as Daddy and Mummy really need their sleep when ds

I rememeber having to tell ds1 that ds2 was too little to be left to cry and so he would have to go back to sleep by himself and be a really good big brother. There were mini meltdowns, but he learnt to sort himself out with his best teddy quite soon.

I had to tell dh that only the essentials would be done housework wise and then I couldn't guarantee that either!

A good time to get the other dcs 'helping' as much as possible? Put this in machine, carry this upstairs, sing a song to your brother etc.

Things will improve soon. Say this as a mantra to keep you goingsmile

KnittedCharacter Tue 26-Feb-13 14:00:22

My ds (6 months) gets us up between 5:00 - 6:00 am. he goes down at 7:30 pm. We go to bed at about 9:30 pm cause i am shattered. Your little one may eventually drop the 11 pm feed and sleep thru til 5 am.

MrsRadicchio Tue 26-Feb-13 14:10:52

Would she sleep in a sling? Am in a similar situation with a 2.5 yo and 11 wo, don't have the time to get him to settle in his cot but he will sleep pretty well in the sling. Also I have to make sure he isn't awake too long, he seems to get sleepy after 45-60 mins.

jenbird Tue 26-Feb-13 17:18:44

Thanks for the replies. I think tonight I will try and get to bed early. At least if I can get a decent amount of sleep I might be able to deal with the day better. We are moving house and I run my own business and I just think it all seems a bit much when your knackered. She does sleep well in the sling and the 5 am waking is a recent thing so I'll have a look at my diet and speak to my health visitor. Thanks for your advice.

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