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Sleep S.O.S

(3 Posts)
southernfairy Wed 09-Jan-13 21:19:58

Calling all co-sleeping parents. Please, please advise; I am about to go mental.

I am typing this with one hand because DS (18 months) is asleep on my shoulder, having just woken up for the third time in a little under 2 hours.

The thing is that I've always been a huge advocate of co sleeping. Both DD (5) and DS spent the first year in our bed, and my husband and I loved the closeness that came with this. Although there are obvious down sides, it has always, ultimately, felt worthwhile - for example, I was able to pick up on my daughter's meningitis (aged 2) much faster than if she'd been in another room. Quick hospital treatment then meant she made a full recovery.

And now to the problem: Our bed is tiny. DS is super-active and co-sleeping just isn't possible anymore and anyway, we sort of could do with some vague semblance of a romantic life. DD now sleeps happily in top bunk, but as there's no room anywhere for a cot, DS is on the bottom at floor level. He was initially pretty pissed off about this, but I started lying down next to him to get him to sleep. Basically this now involves up to an hour of him jumping on my head, screeching, clawing furiously at my neck and shoving both hands down my top to pinch my boobs very, very hard with his chubby little hands. When he finally drops off and I sneak away, it's only a matter of time before he notices I'm gone and screams until I come back. This happens 5,6,7 times a night, every night. I have tried controlled crying but I hate it - it doesn't work, and I end up wondering why I did all the nurturing co-sleeping stuff only to offset it with hours of snotty, red-faced hysteria. It also seems terribly unfair on poor DD, as there is nowhere else she can go to escape the noise.

I'd dearly love to think he'll grow out of it but it's been months now and still no change. DH and I are exhausted and snappy. How the hell do I get him to stop waking up?? He sits up straight away and never, ever takes himself to sleep if I try leaving him. H.E.L.P.

oxeye Thu 10-Jan-13 02:22:10

could you try a mattress next to your bed so he's not in the bed but near it for a bit? then you all might sleep a bit and he might sleep but not in bed?
how was he at going to sleep and staying asleep when you co-slept - did you have the lying down / boob pinching / screaming then ? how was he when you weren't in bed? it might be you could replicate that? what about sleeping with music or a story?
not much help but a few ideas?

southernfairy Thu 10-Jan-13 23:06:27

Mattress is a great idea! Thank you smile

When we co-slept he didn't cry nearly as much, but part of the reason we stopped was that he kept jumping on me - for some reason he really likes to sleep lying across my face...

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