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Please help me get dd (2) to go to bed

(18 Posts)
icepole Mon 07-Jan-13 21:22:45

Dd is 2 this month and running rings round me at night. It takes about 3 hours to get her to bed. She screams blue murder if I just put her down. She wants fed, rocked, fed again. I tried super nanny just returning her which worked on Ds but she gets into such a state. I have tried sitting by her bed, same result. She also wakes at night a lot. I just want to put her to bed at a decent hour and have an hours peace before I have to go to bed too. She will go for a nap on her own if my brother in law puts her down and she thinks I am out so she can self settle. No idea what to do!

Rockchick1984 Tue 08-Jan-13 01:05:52

Is she still having daytime naps? My DS (21 months) went like this for a while, we cut out his nap and he now settles within 10-15 minutes of going to bed!

icepole Tue 08-Jan-13 01:23:31

Yes she has one nap. Did you just go cold turkey? She seems to need it still.

Rockchick1984 Tue 08-Jan-13 01:34:18

My DS was having a 1-1.5 hour nap every day still - we went cold turkey and just put him to bed an hour earlier than we had been doing. He went from 7.30 bedtime / 7am awake, to 6.30 bedtime / 8am awake and no wake-ups during the night! Was a pain trying to keep him awake at his normal naptime for the first few days but was so worth it!

luisgarcia Tue 08-Jan-13 02:19:16

What is your pre bed routine? Is there another adult around during this?

Softlysoftly Tue 08-Jan-13 02:29:57

Put her back in a cot if its large enough then do gradual withdrawal?

DD1 is only just coming out of hers at 3 now she's old enough to discuss and explain become to threaten

icepole Tue 08-Jan-13 02:40:39

She is in her cot with the side off as she was climbing out head first. My brother in law is here too.

Bedtime routine is bath/story/boob/bed she shares a room with her big brother 5 and they listen to a lullaby cd too.

MollyMurphy Tue 08-Jan-13 02:58:48

Looking with interest as we are at wits end with our 2.4 month olds sudden refusal to go to bed. I empathize OP. DH and I reverted to rocking him to sleep when we made the switch to toddler bed because he just wouldn't stay in it and self-settle the way he would in his crib. We are trying to move away from that but haven't had much success. Perhaps we can compare notes...what's working and what's not.....

We tried sitting in his room...this was taking a ridiculous amount of time which we do not always have with more than one child.

we tried the whole supernanny stay-in-bed technique but he just gets hyper - giggling and laughing and launching himself off the bed in glee. we tried that technique with us in the doorway out of sight, then in the doorway in sight and the in the room with our backs turned to him but really to no avail.

Then we decided he needed a longer whind down time so tried reading to him in his bed (he wouldn't stay still), now are trying to read to him while in a chair and doing a bit of rocking but not to sleep (jury out, but from what I can hear of DHs efforts tonight so far, not going well).

weve tried the gate in front of his door thing but one of two things happen....either he becomes hysterical to the point where he cannot calm down and I hedge on my parenting principals or he plays in his room absolutely no closer to sleeping than when we started.

sorry, none of that specifically helps you, but perhaps the ideas just need tweaking from some wise Mner.

I hope you get some guidance here OP that I can sponge off of because it is exhausting and very trying.

luisgarcia Tue 08-Jan-13 02:59:53

Can you try you putting her down, then when she reappears you completely ignore her and your brother in law put her down?

icepole Tue 08-Jan-13 03:14:01

I had wondered about trying the gate, I think she would do exactly the same though, play or scream.

Bil often helps out, it's one of her stages to ask for him to rock her. Then she screams for me again.

She's currently in bed with me. Dh works away during the week so luckily there is space.

SquidgyMummy Tue 08-Jan-13 03:14:19

My sympathies OP, DS 2.2 has never been a great sleeper.

Just wanted to ask the other posters who went cold turkey and dropped the daytime nap if that is what you do all the time now?
If DS has a nap, he can be up till 10pm, he just fights sleep. whereas if he has no nap he can go off in about 10-15mins about 7.30pm.

however i feel guilty that he is exhausted and also, if we go anywhere in the car after mid-afternoon, he will nod off and then we are back to square one...

IcanandIwill Tue 08-Jan-13 04:05:20

I could have written this myself. I am at my wits and with my 2.4 year old. I just don't know what to do. Any sort of nap at all and it's at least 9 or 10 pm before she settles. Yesterday she was at nursery all day, fell asleep there for 20 mins and so was awake until 9pm. Then she has disturbed sleep all night. With a baby and a 6 year old, plus the fact I'm on my own with them (widow) I just don't know what to do.

iloveholidays Tue 08-Jan-13 06:20:01

We've just moved DD2 into a bed who is 22 months as will need cot for DD3 shortly. She was up and down a lot although would drop off if you stayed with her, but we weren't keen on resorting to this each night.

Anyway the thing that's worked is putting her back in her grobag. Obviously there is the chance she'll fall over when getting out of bed, but she has a top bunk bed on the floor so guards all the way round so would only fall over if she actually was trying to get out of the bed and we have a mattress on the floor.

Anyway, I know this is slightly different but she does stay in bed now. Not sure if its a comfort thing as she's obviously used to her grobag or the fact she's restricted when she gets out.

Softlysoftly Tue 08-Jan-13 08:33:52

Id drop the nap. DD1 we let her have an hour film/tv in the afternoon on the sofa which seems to be enough of a rest to perk her up again.

If she falls asleep in the car is unavoidable and yes she would be up until 10. For that she just plays in her own space until tired. Doesn't seem to affect her the next day. As long as they are in their own room does it matter if they play quietly until they fall asleep naturally?

I would prefer that to rocking a heavy two year old to sleep. Is she verbal? Can you not just tell her to stay in her room, that if she doesn't x favourite toy will be taken away?

icepole Tue 08-Jan-13 09:52:45

Right no nap it is. It's going to be a long day!!

MollyMurphy Tue 08-Jan-13 16:06:33

Break thought tonight! Sitting in his room wasn't working (cue giggling and getting more and more excited) so we tried the gate - tonight he didn't fuss about it and played in his room until he crawled in his chair and fell asleep at 9:30pm. Its progress anyway. I don't want to get my hopes up but at least its something!

icepole Tue 08-Jan-13 19:58:38

She was asleep by 7:30! Fed to sleep but don't mind! smile

MollyMurphy Tue 08-Jan-13 22:11:08

Hey thats awesome icepole!

I am about to go on mat leave so don't have much control over his naps when he is at daycare (though we said no more than an hour). When able, I am going to limit them and see if that helps us too.

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