Co-sleepers, I need you! Trying to get DD into a cot

[Caffeineismydrug]

Please help me save my sanity. Like many, we fell into co-sleeping. DD (10 months) was very mucusy for the first 10 weeks or so, and really only wanted to sleep on me. To begin with, she would sleep on my chest at night (not much sleep for me!) then graduated to sleeping next to me in bed. I also have DS (3) and this way, we all got more sleep. Naps were in the sling for the first 4 months or so and now she'll nap in the buggy or sometimes the cot.

She settles great for naps. She likes a bit of white noise but certainly doesn't need feeding to sleep. Nights are a different matter... She'll really only feed to sleep at bedtime. Then she'll wake after 45 minutes are refuse to go back to sleep unless its on a boob. The rest of the night is then the all-night booby buffet. Anytime she wakens, she wants one. It's only comfort sucking, I'm sure. She eats really well during the day so I don't think she's hungry. And as she settles for naps, I'm convinced that nights are just a habit brought on by lying next to me.

We've reached the stage where I need to get her in the cot and away from me. I haven't had more than maybe a 2 hour stretch of sleep for 10 months. We both need better sleep. But how do I do this? Am I asking too much of her to give up the boob and move to the cot at the same time? Should I break it into stages so its more gradual? If so, what would be best?

Help me please!

[fishcalledwonder]

I know people say this a lot on MN, but I really could have written your post a few months ago!

DD slept with my boob an inch from her nose for over 5 months. Every time she woke up, she would want to feed. I was exhausted. I know some co-sleepers can just latch the baby on and go back to sleep, but I am a light sleeper at the best of times, let alone when a 5 month old is yanking on my nipple all night! I also felt she wasn't getting good quality sleep.

I dreaded the move to the cot and kept telling my DH she'd never do it as she needed me to feed her all night. However, I reached the point where anything would be better than getting no sleep. We just went for it. I read all the books recommended on here and used a few ideas from No Cry Sleep Solution. (Cuddly toy, talking DD through bedtime routine etc). Both DH and I have very low tolerance of DD being upset, so crying it out was never an option. We agreed to pick her up whenever she got upset.

DH took the first night and I sat downstairs wondering how I'd deal with the crying. She complained about being in the cot for about 3 mins, then slept for 5 hours!

When she woke, DH managed to settle her quite quickly. The next few nights continued with just short periods of moany crying when she woke.

For us, we wanted to break her sleep association with my boob so we did it all at once: new room, new cot, new sleepy music, DH doing bedtime. She immediately became a thumb-sucker, which I know has it's problems but I was just so grateful she was sucking on sometching not attached to me!

Sorry for long rambling post that contains no new ideas, but just wanted to say that it is possible!

[Caffeineismydrug]

Thanks for your response and for sharing your experience! It might sound silly, but I do take some comfort in the fact that I'm not the only mum in this situation! And I don't regret co-sleeping as I think I'd have died from sleep exhaustion if I hadn't. You do what you need to do to survive sometimes, don't you?

Anyway, I totally agree that it feels like neither of us get good quality sleep so I shall persevere. We've moved DS into the bigger bedroom now so the cot is ready for DD. I'll try and get her napping in it more and work on night time. I'll also read some of the books recommended on here. I'm not a fan of leaving her to cry so I shall be including the No Cry book in that!