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Help, Advice desperately needed 10 month old not settling on his own

(5 Posts)
Blue81 Sat 05-Jan-13 21:27:44

My 10 month old started to sleep through at 8 months and had a fantastic bedtime routine but now will not settle on his own. I have to stay in the room or he kicks up a huge fuss and screams the place down.

I am a lone parent of two but my DS1 is 7 and I can't remember having this problem so young.

I hate leaving him to cry as there is all sorts of research saying how it can be harmful but I cannot spend up to an hour, sometimes more sitting by his cot waiting for him to go to sleep.

My eldest son is having to sleep in my bed as he cannot get to sleep because of my baby screaming!

I guess I just need a bit of reassurance and guidance please

Blue81 Sat 05-Jan-13 22:16:36

anyone??

golemmings Sat 05-Jan-13 23:31:51

DS is 14 months and is still learning to settle at bed time. He'll settle himself over night now most of the time but bedtime is a bit of a battle. We have a routine which has been in place since he was tiny; bath, pjs, story, milk and bed. He had reflux so until he was about 9mo there was a long cuddle between milk and bed which is why he's learning so -slowly- late.

He now has an extra story whilst in bed and sometimes I need to rest my hand on him and sometimes he'll lie calmly and listen. Then I keep wandering in and out. I'll turn a light off or go and get a jumper and I'm trying to make my wanderings longer and longer. We did just about crack it after a few weeks but then he had teeth, then a cold andvtonight it took me 25 mins but that is partly because DH misunderstood what I was doing and effectively did cc with him one night last week and DS is a bit wary of being left now. It's a slow and gentle approach. We got dd's sleep sorted with cc when she was 7mo. It took 2 days but DS responds badly to cc.

LynetteScavo Sat 05-Jan-13 23:35:36

I would advise staying with him, but gradually moving away. If he doesn't think you are leaving he won't be so scared, won't cry and therefore won't take so long to go to sleep. I would live a night light on low, and maybe some very gentle music so he's not suddenly woken by you leaving him when he's nearly asleep

Blue81 Sun 06-Jan-13 10:02:31

He has a projector that plays music so he knows it is bedtime and was perfectly happy to be left to settle on his own up to about 9 months. I think he has suddenly started with separation anxiety which I know is around this age.

DS1 is 7 and is back at school tomorrow so need to get this sorted ASAP. I am going to try reading to DS1 whilst holding baby and hope that way once I place him into his cot he will be nice and sleepy and I can sit there for a few minutes whilst his music plays and then leave him to it.

Got a feeling it wont be quite that easy somehow!

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