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So fed up - DS only plays up for me

(3 Posts)
PPL Wed 02-Jan-13 19:13:02

Hi there

DS is 18 months and has always been a terrible sleeper. We have seen huge improvements recently - he now sleeps through 5 nights out of 7, although he suffers a lot when he has a cold or is teething. Then we get no sleep at all.

Anyway, I have always put him to bed, as DH never home from work before 8. I used to bf to sleep, then stopped that at 15 months and now he has a cup. He is still bf once, in the morning.

I have to sit with him while he falls asleep at bedtime. He likes to actually cuddle my arm, which is a pain and kills my back. If I am not touching him he is standing leaning out towards me, wimpering and crying. If I leave the chair he hits the roof. It takes around an hour for him to get to sleep. He alternates between whimpering for me and laughing at me while he throws his favourite teddy out, over and over again. (he definitely needs him to sleep. If he wakes in the night he looks for him to be able to get back off - we have video monitor!) I stay calm, pretty much ignore him, place teddy back quietly and calmly as if to say this is not a game nor is it really really annoying. I never pick him up or cuddle him once he is in his cot.

Over Christmas DH did bedtime every night for 12 nights. He has mastered the art of putting him down, saying good night, settling back in his chair and DS would be asleep within 5-10 mins max. I watched every night on the monitor and he does exactly the same bedtime routine as me, even down to the same stories.

It was back to normality today and I did bedtime. Guess what? Exactly the same as it used to be. half an hour of pick-up- teddy. I am verging on livid! I kept calm but I just don't understand why he is only like this fr me! He doesn't do this with his granny either.

I am going to have to get tough aren't I. Started 'gradual retreat' (ha!) 6 months ago and have retreated nowhere.

People say he knows he can manipulate me but not his daddy. But it makes no sense - its not as if I give him anything daddy doesn't, apart from an arm through the bars when I get really fed up and give in!

I need a plan. Gradual retreat doesn't seem to be getting anywhere...

PPL Thu 03-Jan-13 12:46:38


Has anyone had their partner do the sleep training and it worked for them as well? because although DH didn't actually do any sleep training, I've had people tell me that if DH does cc or similar then I won't have to do anything.

How do I get him to sleep nicely for me?!

MySonIsMyWorld Thu 03-Jan-13 22:54:01

I have exactly the same problem! DS is a angel for dp a horror for me to put to bed..... ds is 19 months and dp can put him on his chest pat his bum for 5 mins and he is away with the fairies, me however is a diff story he will smack me (playing not nasty) laugh, cry if i leave, start talking etc ect

After lots of trying to put him in his cot i've decided sod it i am not doing it he can stay in our bed....

I stooped bf-ing when ds was 11 months old as he wasnt eating anything during the day and just feeding ALL night!!!

I wish now that i carried on bf-ing but he was loosing so much weight and i didnt really want to carry on after he was 1...too many teeth!

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