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is co-sleeping common?

(102 Posts)
ForbiddenFruitt Sun 23-Dec-12 17:29:15

I never did it, never even contemplated it. I had the moses basket right next to the side of the bed instead.

Two good friends have babies under 12m and they both co-sleep.

Not judging if people do it, just wondering whether it is quite common?

catwoman101 Tue 25-Dec-12 20:24:52

I don't understand all these posts saying more people do it than admit to it. My dd is 12wo and almost all our baby friends say they do it and no one bats an eyelid.

I personally never would with a baby, but if an older child was ill and needed comfort ( and was old enough to escape my efforts to take over the bed) then I would try it.

Jeggie Tue 25-Dec-12 08:08:10

I planned to from the start as I read that overall you get more sleep and that it helps with breast feeding. It worked well for us. I was very rarely tired. Dd is now 12m and goes down in her cot in own room but comes into us around 2-4 when she wakes hungry. I'm too sleepy (lazy?!) to settle her back in cot, much easier to take to ours, latch on and both go back to sleep. I'm confident she will one day sleep all night in her own bed, but for now this works for us.

I personally think it is quite common and it would be better if people talked about it more. Lots of people seen to feel like they are doing something wrong if they cosleep. But it can easily be made safe and the sleep benefits are good IMO. Yes you get disturbed more often but you are in tune with baby so it is a gentle awakening not the baby screaming in another room shock bolt upright thing. Research has shown you get more sleep overall.

forgottenpassword Tue 25-Dec-12 08:03:53

I co-sleep with 3 Dc aged 5, 3 and 1. Dc love it and I love it (though can get a bit squashy at times). It is safe if right precautions are taken with small babies.

It's very weird the way that we judge others for things like this (especially once they have passed the age when no-one suggests it is not safe). I suspect that sometimes we (including me) like to have our parenting choices affirmed as few of us really have any idea whether what we are doing is "the right thing". But really there is rarely any one right way. We just have to have confidence in the choices we make for our own families and not to be afraid of what others say.

Right, I am off to devour chocolate santas. Have a magical Xmas!

Jojobells1986 Tue 25-Dec-12 07:33:02

I tried it with DS but he'd cry until he was put down alone! hmm I'm constantly telling unborn-DC that (s)he had better be a slightly more cuddly baby or I'm going to sulk!

KatieLily12 Tue 25-Dec-12 07:26:02

Amongst my friends it's quite common and they co slept with their parents. We co sleep as I felt it was easier with BF and also did lots if reading around attachment while doing my degree so I was sold on the safety/ benefits side.

I think you often end up co sleeping whether its planned or not at different phases as needs must. That's my standard answer when I get a bad reaction. I started to refer to it as 'dropping the c bomb' with my partner as I have had some very strongly judgemental responses. I actually don't bother telling most people due to the unhelpful responses about spoiling my baby or safety. I can usually tell who not to tell instantly as they ask 'are they good?' That question drives me nuts!

ElphabaTheGreen Mon 24-Dec-12 14:17:59

PMSL at SecretSanta grin (the class thing was a JOKE people! A JOKE!)

DS always starts the night in his cot but we usually end up co-sleeping from around midnight. I always start the night in his cot in the hope that he'll eventually sleep there for longer and longer stretches. I'm really not keen on co-sleeping but it beats the exhaustion from jigging in and out of his room on an hourly basis in the wee hours.

blushingmare Mon 24-Dec-12 10:53:03

SecretSanta I just snorted my tea out of its mug! grin

BitofSparklingPerry Mon 24-Dec-12 00:09:03

We dont exactly co sleep, as the dds have their own beds...sometimes they wake up in each others bed, sometimes ours, or I end up in one f theirs.

My parents did the same.

You just do what gets the most sleep, don't you?

VisualiseAHorse Mon 24-Dec-12 00:01:23

We co-sleep sometimes. LO has been in his own bed since 1 week old, but if he wakes in the night/is feeling poorly/just wants to cuddle then we co-sleep.
We generally only do it in the single bed in his room though - our bed in our room is lovely and comfy for morning snuggles, but he won't go to sleep if his Dad is in the bed too! He is 8 months old.

slightlysoupstainedbabygrows Sun 23-Dec-12 21:52:16

Like foxache, on my first night in hospital a nurse/midwife encouraged me to keep DS in with me. Have coslept since. He's 4 months now.

People keep asking if he's "sleeping through" & have to admit, I don't blooming know - I don't really have to wake up properly to feed him, so don't really remember when or how often he feeds during the night.

StealthToddler Sun 23-Dec-12 21:47:59

Common as in normal!!!!!

StealthToddler Sun 23-Dec-12 21:46:16

Much more common than is freely admitted to.... But when I say I do I often find friends admit to it too... Our local hospital has started setting up for co-sleeping so not as taboo as it used to be as long as you do it sensibly.

CordeliaChase Sun 23-Dec-12 21:33:24

I have never co slept with my DS. I was too paranoid to if I'm honest! My DS liked his space when he was going to sleep though, hated being swaddled and still asks for his bed when he's tired (he's 2).

stickygingerbread Sun 23-Dec-12 21:01:21

another thing i noticed was that ds's breathing as a nb was very uneven, full of hitches and pauses, but when he slept on me his breathing would even out and match mine.
he is now almost 6 and only comes in with me and dd (2) when dh is away, and morning cuddles. but yes, am now broken to co-sleeping saddle.

stickygingerbread Sun 23-Dec-12 20:58:05

i never intended to, but ds wore me down quickly. he refused to sleep by himself or, indeed, to be put down for long at any time. taking him in the stroller was a fiasco - shouting and carrying on the entire time. had to sling him.

it was the night he roared for 3 hours and no sign of stopping that made me willing to do anything to never live through that again. I got so much more sleep after, even sleeping sitting up as i did to stop any chance of rolling over.

Bagofmashings Sun 23-Dec-12 20:52:01

To answer your question, yes, I think it is quite common. Lots of people say they don't cosleep but actually in my experience it often emerges that their child does sleep in their bed for some of the night.

Bagofmashings Sun 23-Dec-12 20:50:20

Yep- I did it from day 1. I didn't intend to but I found everyone slept much better that way and I couldn't bare to let go of my pfb. At about 12 months he suddenly started sleeping in his own cot and is usually a great sleeper although I definitely sleep better if he's next to me.

Doraemon Sun 23-Dec-12 20:39:29

I co-slept with DS1 and 2, planning on co-sleeping with DD1 when she arrives. And will be co-sleeping with 7 year old DS1 tomorrow night because he is frightened of Father Christmas coming.....

MustafaCake Sun 23-Dec-12 20:38:07

Lots of my friends and I tend to pop baby in the cot to sleep but then take baby into bed when s/he wakes to BF or settle them.

So a mix of cot sleeping and co sleeping!

It has certainly worked for me, DS2 settles far better lying next to me then DS1 who I paced the floor with for hours as a baby!

mummysmellsofsick Sun 23-Dec-12 20:24:43

We do and we love it. We'd miss his soft warm head if it wasn't there ready to bite us awake in the morning grin

RowanTheRedNosedMumsnet (MNHQ) Sun 23-Dec-12 20:20:58


This one isn't an AIBU so we've moved it to 'Sleep'.


TraineeBabyCatcher Sun 23-Dec-12 20:12:02

murderofprose as a student midwife, co sleeping is one of few things I have failed to admit to my colleagues in fear of a few hmm

Tamdin Sun 23-Dec-12 20:10:57

I do. Ds1 (6) starts off in his own bed but comes in at some point every night and ds2 (22mths) has never slept in his cot all night. Luckily dh and I are on the same page with co-sleeping so it's no biggie for us
I wouldn't say it's common in my group of friends. I have 3 co-sleeping friends I can think of out 15. Hth

BubblesAndBeans Sun 23-Dec-12 20:09:37

My dd is 11 months and she starts off in her own cot every night. If she wakes up after we have gone to bed, she co-sleeps with us the rest of the night. I dont mind it all and actually sleep a lot better knowing she is right next to me.
Not a lot of people openly talk about it though so i dont tell many people. Even my own mum, who is a very open minded person generaaly,thinks it is the wrong thing to do. Personally i believe this: whatever sleep arrangement gets your family the most sleep, is the best sleep arrangement for your family.

ValiumQueen Sun 23-Dec-12 20:04:12

My first two were in their cots in their own rooms before they were a week old. My third however, age 8 weeks has only spent one night in a cot -age 5 weeks in hospital and wired up to monitors- as he simply will not sleep away from me. Believe me I have tried, but I decided it was safer to co-sleep intentionally than fall asleep accidentally whilst trying to get him to sleep in a cot. I have two other children to consider too, so it is not as if I can nap in the day. Up until last night he slep between us. As of tonight he is in his cot which I have adapted as a co-sleeper. Hopefully it will work.

My aim is to get him sleeping in his own room, but I must admit I am loving co-sleeping. I always wanted to, but DH is against bed sharing, and due to safety issues and the girls being little snorters, they were evicted early. I have bf all three, and it is so much easier doing it in bed.

I do not know anyone in RL who does, but my HV has been very supportive.

Oh, and I am not at all common grin

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