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20mo moved to a bed, now he won't settle without me and we are desperate for sleep - HELP (long)

(3 Posts)
KirstyJC Sun 23-Dec-12 11:54:51

Well, we decided enough was enough and let him cry it out.sad It was horrible, DH had to do it as I was too upset but we did the routine then left him there, with us holding the door shut so he couldn't get out. I really really didn't want to resort to this but I was walking into things I was so tired and we were all so grumpy from lack of sleep we felt there was no other option.

He was calling out for us and knocking on the door to be let out sad but then he got back into bed and settled himself. He took 30 mins in total to go to sleep the first night, and slept through until 9.20 when he woke up and started playing by himself in his room shock. When he heard I was up he knocked on the door to be let out.

The second night (last night) we did the same and it took 10 minutes for him to settle himself to sleep. He slept through again. Again this morning he was playing in his room until we went to get him.

He has still been having his normal nap at lunchtime, and has been much more himself in the daytime so I think the lack of sleep had been affecting him too.

I must admit, although I hate the idea of crying it out - it has worked. In 2 nights he has gone from over 2 hours to settle and waking loads in the night, to 10 minutes and sleeping through. Fingers crossed soon he will settle himself without crying at all....

Seth Sun 23-Dec-12 07:29:33


Sorry you haven't received any responses on this one...I could have written your post about my own DC2 at the moment so I'll be watching yours. It's exhausting isn't it? Mine has spent much of the last week in bed with me.

I start off the evening with an iron will determined to crack it but the need for sleep gets too great at 2am and you find yourself in the same cycle as the previous night don't you?

I am by myself and in some respects I can sometimes be quite resigned to things not being perfect , plus is even harder to reinforce things in the middle of the night but I really do want to get this sorted ( especially has started creating jealousy issues between DC1 and 2 as she knows that he's often in my bed and has now started trying to creep in too- aghhhhh!

Lets hope someone will have some good advice soon!

KirstyJC Thu 20-Dec-12 21:21:05

Our 20mo was in a small cot so last Monday (11 days ago) we got him a bed. He always went to sleep OK in the cot (since about 12mo anyway) although a couple of times a week he might have needed a few attempts to put him down. He slept through the night about 5 nights out of 7, and the other 2 mostly only woke once and was easy to resettle.

We had a routine - read a story or 2 then lay down on our bed in the dark to BF. When he had finished he was put, still awake, in the cot and we left him. He then settled and went to sleep. If he woke at night we simply brought him into the bed, fed him and then put him back into the cot where he fell asleep again quickly alone.

Since the bed all hell has broken loose.sad We have a routine - sit in his bed to read the stories and then lie down, feed if he wants it and then leave the room.

But it isn't working. He takes at least one hour to settle and needs me (not DH, only I will do) to lie down next to him in bed until he falls asleep (usually with a BF as well). If I try and leave the room before, even if he is almost asleep, he will immediately start crying and get out of bed.

He then wakes every night, at least once and sometimes twice. We have tried me going in and lying down with him until he falls asleep again, sometimes feeding and sometimes not, which seems to take between 1-2 hours in the middle of the night. He then wakes up again when we do at about 6.15ish.

We have tried just putting him back into bed but after 16 attempts tonight we gave up. He gets out as soon as you turn to leave the room. I don't think he is ill or teething as he is normal in the daytime and usually you can tell when he is teething etc.

He still naps for 1-2 hours during the day, either at home (falls asleep in the sling and then you can transfer him to the bed with no problem) or at nursery. I did try the sling for bedtime too but it didn't work and we ended up at the beginning again.

I have spent the last 10 days on less than 5 hours sleep a night, and that broken. DH has got a bit more but still poor. The only reason we have got that much is by bringing him into our bed and DH sleeping in his bed because at 3.30am when you have only had a couple of hours' sleep and need to be at work it seems the only option. In our bed, with me there, he settles and stops crying quickly, but still often stays awake for ages which keeps me awake as I am the world's lightest sleeper.

He has just finally gone to sleep at 9.15 - we started at 7.10.

Please can someone help us. We have 2 other kids and they never did this. We are at the end of our tether and don't know what to do.

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