Gentle methods not working can't do CC

[vvviola]

Help!

DD2 is a dreadful sleeper and has been since she started solids (undiagnosed dairy allergy caused the initial problem, which has now turned into habit).

On a good night she'll wake at midnight, 4 and 6, then up for the day at 7/7:30. On a bad night she wakes every couple of hours. She bf to sleep each time.

I've stopped bf to sleep at bedtime, but it takes up to an hour of rubbing her back before she goes to sleep (and sometimes taking her back up for another bf).

I'm shattered. I have about 5 weeks now when my mum is visiting where I have an extra pair of hands to help with sleep (although not so much the middle of the night stuff - mum & Dad are in the spare room which was DD2's room, and she is in with us now, and I don't think my DH would appreciate my DM wandering in in the middle of the night!)

I've tried various gentle methods but I think at 15 months old, DD is wise to them all, and likes the boob too much (trying to wean her from that too).

I need help. A step by step plan preferably that I can enlist Mum (and to some extent DH when he's not at work/on call) to help with.

Mum has promised to send DH & I out for a romantic dinner and/or trip to the cinema, but the way things stand it'll never happen.

I haven't had a full night's sleep in nearly 18 months. Please help!

(And please don't recommend straight CIO or CC. I know from experience on DD1 and from DD2's personality that it just won't work for us)

[carocaro]

How about the gradual withdrawal method, inbetween controlled crying. Google Dr Tanya Byron and the details should come up, I did this with both my DS's, hours sat on the landing, ignoring them, but they could still see me so they had the reassurance I was there. Remember you are not being mean or depriving her in any way, she just needs to learn a new way of getting to sleep and she will. She will also feel better when she starts to sleep better and so will you. You have to not give in or else the cycle just starts again from the start, you may think it is hard work and will never work but it will.



(sorry don't know what CIO is!)

[carocaro]

books.google.co.uk/books?id=fKqDkAc6F0UC&pg=PA91&lpg=PA91&dq=dr+tanya+byron+withdrawal+method&source=bl&ots=4zZLyUe_n-&sig=zoMsRrhDNGYVkyOeKXUWfTrCJB8&hl=en&sa=X&ei=mh3PULG2IOin0AXph4CwDQ&ved=0CEEQ6AEwAjgK#v=onepage&q=dr%20tanya%20byron%20withdrawal%20method&f=false

[carocaro]

www.amazon.co.uk/Little-Angels-Essential-Transforming-Children/dp/056351941X/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1355750882&sr=1-3&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

[lucidlady]

Try Andrea Grace's gentle sleep solution. Worked a treat for my own insomniac boob monster. SOME crying is normal btw, and to be expected.

[vvviola]

Thanks, I'll have a look at both of those.

Amazingly she went down for her nap today with no feeding or anything. She was messing around in the cot, so I went out and sat on the landing expecting to have to go back in a few minutes. And she just dropped off. And slept for 2 hours!!

Could I repeat it at bedtime. Nope. Not a chance. And as for the middle of the night? Not even worth a try.

[carocaro]

Yes you can, repeat the same at bedtime and in the middle of the night. Unless you work at it and get a bit tougher you are going to have the same situation, if you keep doing the same things. There is no magic instant soltion, tough nut to crack but you can do it!

[Tertius]

What about a dummy? I just gave one to my 16 month old! I've had every sleep problem and done training enough times! Going to try dummy and getting her to find it herself. Wish I'd done this at 6 months!