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Misery loves company: anyone want to join me on a support thread for those desperate and demoralised by their 8/9/10 mo sleep?

(1000 Posts)
Suchanamateur Tue 11-Dec-12 14:36:13

Bloody sleep regression. It's like 4 months all over again but worse because it felt (briefly) like we were getting somewhere. Feck. Anyone else want to share tales of woe or is it (a) just me or (b) way too depressing to post about..?

lucylookout Sat 30-Mar-13 10:38:51

Hello all, I'm still here too. I read the posts regularly but don't seem to have the time/energy to post much and certainly don't have the brain power to think of anything witty. DS is still not sleeping, and is in fact worse than he was, as as well as waking up every 1/2 hour to hour throughout evening and night (even when in with us) he is also now waking up at 4 or 5am and takes hours to go back to sleep. He's not even 9 months yet and I'm wondering how, exactly, it could get any worse <immediately wish I hadn't said that as I'm sure it will>

ElphabaTheGreenAndBlacks Sat 30-Mar-13 12:48:03

Maybe you should change your name to lucylurkout wink

lucylookout Sat 30-Mar-13 14:49:04


HearMyRoar Sat 30-Mar-13 18:55:03

Oh Lucy! I've been there and it is grim. Have you looked at diet? When dd's sleep was that bad I tried cutting out dairy and we had a small but noticeable improvement in about a week or so. Might be worth thinking about if you haven't already (I know, you have probably already tried everything by now).

lucylookout Sat 30-Mar-13 19:14:53

Hi Hearmyroar, mine is another one with cow's milk protein intolerance (it can be no coincidence that so many of these poor sleepers have at least one food intolerance). I'm still bf so have been dairy free for months. When I try to reintroduce it he gets really upset and cranky (and last time even had blood in his poo sad). Dr is confident he'll grow out of it but for now he and I have no dairy (or soya). I spend more time than I should baking dairy free biscuits and cakes - well I've got to keep my energy up somehow don't I!
I'd love to know when a baby grows out of their food intolerance, whether their sleep gets immediately better (or whether by then they're just in the habit of being a rubbish sleeper).
He got his two bottom teeth about 3 weeks ago, so I'm kind of hoping his sleep has got worse again because he's getting more teeth. Last night he had a bit of a temperature too and has today been off his food and whining all day. He's also slap bang in the middle of a wonder week(s). Don't know if any of you follow those too.

Look at all these dairy free babies! Incidentally, my cmpi baby is sometimes great, waking once a night. However, as its taken til 11 months to recognize and treat DT1's reflux, despite having a reflux cmpi twin too, we are about to re-try dairy free for my nightmare sleeper. He's more terrible than ever, plus 5:30 is now the morning, every morning. It wouldn't be so bad if he'd sleep until then, but it just adds insult to injury. Boys are both coughing loads, and as its been so rubbish recently I've consoled myself with lots of chocolate, so DT2- the definite cmpi one- has been up loads screaming. Bad mummy. I always think, oh, he's nearly one, a couple of bars of chocolate for me should make no difference, and he does have this cough which is also disturbing him, but its distress with back arching. So of course, I feel very guilty and stupid now. I am of course, both guilty and stupid for scoffibg shed loads of milk chocolate in the first place but my willpower runs out sometimes. Call it an alternative dairy challenge smile . He'll be ok within 48 hours though was last time I did this . So Lucy IME, which is very limited, once DT2 is comfy again he sleeps better pretty much immediately. We are on 3-4 long difficult wakes atm, once he feels better he will go back to one, occasionally sleeping through. If I'm right, and he really is cmpi. He seems to be, but isn't classic. His symptoms are just misery, solid poos he strains to pass and terrible sleeping, waking with bad wind and seemingly uncomfortable. No watery diarrhoea, mild excema but that hasn't gone without dairy, nothing else, always had good weight gain. Yet every time we give dairy and move up the dairy challenge a bit he becomes unsettled etc. We did get to 60g yoghurt last time before this happened though, and he can tolerate eg butter on toast at playgroup if its not all the time. So we think it could be teeth, developmental, ya do ya di yada, re stop the dairy, 48 hours and he perks up. Sorry for the essay but i don't want to mislead smile

So what does everyone feed their cows milk intolerant babies? Mine eats Ella's kitchen, almost exclusively as he's refusing all home cooked fare and has gone super fussy. Just to help matters. He can have soya though.

Welcome lime smile May your stay here be brief.

I'm going to post this as DT1 waking, of course, and its too long and boring as it is. I really should accept I'm not witty enough for mn....

Oh, but i just have to say DT1 did his first wobbly steps today, ahhh. smile DT2 getting left behind, he remains a little pudding sat on his bottom hmm

ElphabaTheGreenAndBlacks Sun 31-Mar-13 07:49:03

I'm pretty sure DS isn't CMPI. I could just be in denial, of course, because that would mean us turning vegan hmm I require chocolate. And cheese. And cake made with lashings of butter. When he wakes up it's a plaintive, 'But I don't WANNA be awake!' whine rather than anything that sounds like discomfort.

Off to start Easter Sunday lunch. I'm even doing lamb for the in-laws to thank them profusely for looking after DS while he was ill.

Happy Easter! grin

HearMyRoar Sun 31-Mar-13 20:13:38

When dd had diary it is a very definite type of waking. She gets very windy with a bubbling belly so just wriggles and screams in pain for hours. She also gets explosive diarrhea and a distinctive rash on her cheeks just under her eyes. Since turning 1 she has got loads better. Her belly has really settled down at night and she has much less wind. We did some testing and found I can now it a bit of dairy in things so chocolate and cake seem fine (yay!) But too much and we get a reaction (so no lattes or yoghurt smoothies). When we gave her some directly the results were much less severe then they had been last time we tried but still definitely causing upset. I am greatly encouraged and holding out hope she will be all clear in the next 6 months or so. Oddly we also have the same symptoms with oats, I think this is more unusual but I've tried several times and I'm pretty sure it has to be the oats.

We've always done blw. Dp doesn't like dairy so didn't eat much anyway. Cutting it out hasn't been too much of a hassle for us. The oats has been more annoying as I miss my porridge and flapjacks. Dd is currently having a bread and fruit phase but as she still bfs like a newborn I'm not too worried hmm

LimeFlower Sun 31-Mar-13 23:22:48

Thank you for your warm welcome smile
I'll write something soon,I promizzzzzzzzzzz...

StitchAteMyEasterEggs Mon 01-Apr-13 17:29:44

Hello all.

Welcome LimeFlower.

Well we weathered the flu. Then Stitch was teething and waking hourly. Now we have a horrible cold boo hiss. [fed up emoticon]

Dd1 is lactose intolerant, she used to have a terrible bubbling belly with griping before we switched to lactose free. Dd2 has never had regular milk as we only buy lactose free. Unheated milk makes me vomit and DH is allergic to dairy (although less severely than as a child).

LimeFlower Mon 01-Apr-13 22:00:45

Right then,caught up with some sleep so can write a few words.
DS 10 months,apparently teething so wakes up goodness knows how many times during the night.
We left him at MIL the day before yesterday for a sleepover.Little sod darling woke up once,gulped some water and went back to sleep hmm.
I managed to sleep whole 7 hours,woke up at 7am surprised that there was nobody to shout at me from the cot.
DH was whinging that he woke up twice and couldn't get back to sleep,apparently he was twitching in bed like mad-I was like a stone.First time full time sleep since at least a year as I was terrible insomniac when pregnant.
DS gets up about 6-7 am,as soon as DH is out of the bed door he shouts at me to take him to my bed.He's happy to bf for a while then starts poking,proding me and all sorts so I put him back to his cot,pull the duvet over my head and pretend to be invisible.
He's got one nap during a day,if I'm lucky it's 1.5 hours if not 40 minutes.When I'm totally knackered I go to bed when he's asleep.
8 pm he's in bed,sleeps till 11-12 and then starts waking up.I feed him to sleep.

LimeFlower Mon 01-Apr-13 22:08:17

Dreaming how the heck you manage with 2?I remember there was a time I dreamed about having twins-but I don't know whether I would manage.1 is wearing me out.
My sympathy to those with colds/flu.We haven't had that so far,only vom bug a while ago.
Just sat down at the computer and nearly falling asleep.Where the time goes?

ElphabaTheGreen Wed 03-Apr-13 06:36:39

Well, DS had his 9-12 month review yesterday. I can only assume there's a warning on his file about me and the subject of sleep because it was like the HV was inching into a minefield with a white flag raised aloft when she broached the subject. Fortunately she didn't put a foot wrong, except to suggest I needed 'me time' when I mentioned that I went to bed when he did at 7pm to try and cram in as much sleep as possible. I think I must have raised a slightly incredulous eyebrow because she changed the subject to baby-proofing the home quite sharpish! grin

After 2 hourly wake-ups all night, he's been sleeping in 15 minute bursts since 4:30am. Finally conked out just before 6 so I'm just having some 'me time' with a bowl of cereal and a large, large cup of coffee, quietly hoping he'll wake up for the day soon so I can see him and get him dressed before I go to work.

Hope y'all are getting some sleep!

LimeFlower Wed 03-Apr-13 22:46:35

15 minutes bursts? shock
I thought my DS was bad but he's an angel!He's had a long nap this afternoon so I went to bed after switching off the phones.

Faffing with the laptop now,still have the dishes to wash and plant tomatoes.

In fact,I'll probably say sod the dishes and just plant tomatoes.How I miss my garden...

Night night everybody smile

HearMyRoar Thu 04-Apr-13 19:35:34

Hello happy campers! grin

Dd had her first full day at nursery today. Me and dp have decided that we want to buy a house so have both upped our working hours to save. Dd will be doing 2 days a week at nursery. She was super amazing! Just played happily all day. No fuss at all apart from when she got tired. Apparently she napped in a pram for a bit in the morning then did some dozing in the afternoon so pretty good considering. She may be a shitty sleeper at night but she has her good points, at least I don't have to worry about her crying all day while I feel guilty for leaving her.

I have come to the decision that dd is truly super advanced. I had expected that when the clocks changed she would start waking up at 7 rather then 6, but no! Clearly she has an excellent understanding of the workings of British summer time as she still wakes up at 6 am... On the dot! How!?

lime you just reminded me that I also suffered from insomnia pretty much from the moment dd was conceived. I realise that it's been almost 2 years since I had 8 hours sleep in one night...<sob>

LimeFlower Thu 04-Apr-13 21:59:01

Roar how old is your DD?It's good that she settled so well,at least you don't go to work with the picture of your wee one crying.Good luck on the house purchase plan nad happy house hunting when the time comes smile

It's amazing how accurate is children's body clock-DS started getting up with DH recently at 6:30.It completely buggered his naps during a day.I order to preserve my sanity I have to make him sleep when he doesn't want to and wake him up when he's sleeping in the afternoon otherwise there will be no sleep at night.The result-grumpy screaming boy.Today was a bit better because this is our refusal collection day and DS looooves the bin lorry-big yellow truck with flashing beacons at front and back.

I remember being pg and waking up in the middle of the night because I was hungry.Then I couldn't sleep because of my bump.Then DS came and I just have no time to sleep.Mind you,I could go to bed now instead of MNing but this is my only entertainment right now.Car has broken down last week so no going anywhere until poor DH fixes it.

I'm back to work at the beginning of June,part time.DS is going to be looked after by my friend-her wee one is a few months older than DS,hope they'll gang up together.

Where the time goes?Just sat down,have to go and make sandwiches for DH for tomorrow,plant the tomatoes(was going to do that last night) and wash the bloody dishes (maybe...)

Off I go,take care everybody smile

MillionPramMiles Fri 05-Apr-13 13:36:00

Hi there, desperate and demoralised is a pretty accurate description this end. My 11 month old dd is still waking 5-10 times a night. Usually stops crying if I give her the dummy but only for an hour max. Finally around 5am this morning, after the 7th time I'd been up I just gave in and left her to crysad
After 10mins of sobbing she gave in and fell asleep.
We've tried gradual retreat and PUPD but they just made her cry more. So now I think we're going to have to gradually leave her to cry for longer periods as I just can't survive on 4 hours broken sleep, it's been like this for months.
I haven't shared a bed or an evening with my dp for months and we barely have the energy to talk to each other. How does anyone maintain a relationship with a non sleeping baby?? Then again if we split up we'd each get to sleep half the week :0

ElphabaTheGreen Fri 05-Apr-13 19:50:06

Hi MillionPram - have you been on here before and lurking as well? I's a good job we're not a bitchy lot wink

I was a chronic insomniac for years before DS was born. It was awful. I was getting about four (unbroken) hours a night, if I was lucky. Then with breastfeeding, those sleepy hormones kicked in and I could sleep on a clothesline. I vividly remember one blissful night when DS wasn't more than a few days old, I was having rotten problems with bleeding nipples and hideous pain when feeding so I was expressing and we were cup feeding to help me heal. I managed to express enough for a whole night and my amazing DH did all of the night feeds and I got ten hours - ten hours - of sleep. I hadn't slept like that for years and Christ knows I haven't come close since. <sigh> I suppose the upside is that I'm supremely experienced when it comes to managing on zero sleep, but it's awfully tantalising now that I have the ability to do it, it is snatched from my grasp by my insomniac child.

LimeFlower Fri 05-Apr-13 22:53:17

Million fantastic nickname smile

I feel for you,it's horrible to hear you wee one crying like that but sometimes you just can't take anymore.I tried this controlled crying method but it either doesn't work or I'm doing it wrong way,left DS in the room and tried to calm him down.He was in histerics,went to sleep eventually kneeling down,face down on the matress and tangled in his sleeping bag.Made me feel like complete bitch.I know that a bit of crying doesn't do any harm but I just can't stand the view of my so wanted child in such an "abandoned" position.

They say that having a child is one of the most challenging times for relationship.Couldn't agree more,takes the toll on both parents.

Elphaba my deepest sympathy

Off to bed,managed to plant my tomatoes and some old calendula seeds today when DS had his 40 mins nap

Night night smile

ElphabaTheGreen Sun 07-Apr-13 11:16:13

After some truly awful nights with DS, I've done my customary semi-regular sweep of the sleep board to see if anyone has come up with anything I haven't tried. They haven't. I did notice, however, that coping with sleeplessness seems to follow the classic Kubler-Ross Five Stages of Grief:

Denial: 'Oh it's only the four month sleep regression. It won't last more then two weeks. They'll be sleeping through by six months.'

Anger: 'Gah! They're eating five meals a day and still not sleeping! It's all my fault and I'm clearly a shit parent!'

Bargaining: Sleep training.

Depression: 'Nothing's worked. I'm on my knees. I can't cope. Find me cake. And toast. Toast helps.'

Acceptance: 'Hey, seven months on zero sleep and I'm still alive! Maybe I will be able to ride this mo fo out after all!'


I still find toast quite beneficial, though.

Will try and post more later, I'm particularly desperate and demoralized atm, grin. But think I'm in the depression stage, stuck in a rut there maybe, the acceptance sounds miles more fun. And replace toast with junk. Toast would far too wholesome to call to me hmm

babybouncer Sun 07-Apr-13 21:56:34

Love that Elphaba - so true! DD is now one and has randomly slept through the night twice (irritatingly the first time I had gone away for the night to try and get some sleep!), but at least she has recently started just waking up the once for an hour or two, then up by 6. She's been ill fortnightly for the last six months and every time she's better, she seems to be making improvements if only she could stop being ill!

Crap, I just wrote a looong post and lost it. Gutted. Which is ridiculous in itself but i am not sure I have the energy to retype. FFS.

HearMyRoar Tue 09-Apr-13 19:31:43

The problem I have with the stages of sleeplessness is that every time dd makes a small improvement I lose my place and end up skipping back a few stages once she starts teething/getting ill/growing [delete as appropriate] and goes back to being shit again. I am currently swiftly returning to cake eating I think after last night when I got no more then 30mins sleep after 1am. Gah!

ElphabaTheGreen Tue 09-Apr-13 19:59:36

I certainly seem to be veering between stages 4 and 5. At this moment, I've decided that co-sleeping, while enabling me to go back to sleep more quickly after I re-settle DS, means my sleep is poorer quality because I don't sleep as deeply with him on the bed. I also think having Chateau les Boobs at face level all night encourages him to want to partake more often.

So, for this week, he's in the cot all night, with boob and white noise for 20 mins every 2 hours. Or more. This is highly likely to change again.

800th post!

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