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Misery loves company: anyone want to join me on a support thread for those desperate and demoralised by their 8/9/10 mo sleep?

(1000 Posts)
Suchanamateur Tue 11-Dec-12 14:36:13

Bloody sleep regression. It's like 4 months all over again but worse because it felt (briefly) like we were getting somewhere. Feck. Anyone else want to share tales of woe or is it (a) just me or (b) way too depressing to post about..?

elph, you're right
What am I thinking, I have THREE children under 3 and will have for a further 6 months 6 days until DD turns 3, and I'm guessing, when i lose my '3 under 3' badge on that day my life will not actually become instantly easier. Someone slap me with something, no more dc for me!!!!!

Can you tell I've only just got them all to bloody bed?

Your ds sounds like there'll be no stopping him soon!

Still it was a much better day today as though i was weeping with exhaustion at 4am, when dh helpfully informed me I was losing the plot (oh really darling, how did you figure that one out?!) I somehow pulled through and don't feel I did terribly today. Oh wait, today consisted of going for a 1.5 hour walk in the morning, DD mostly in buggy, dts in buggy, then back for lunch, DT2 hot and bothered, put to bed straight after lunch, DT1 and DD briefly played with, then DT1 stuck back in the buggy to take DD into the garden as DT2 woke up (oh, dh is napping here BTW, he's so tired) so poor dts stuck in the buggy, then a swing, then on a trike, then buggy... Then in for a quick play and tea. So, see my babies issue?! Always strapped into/onto something. 11 months tomorrow. DT1 can roll very well, scoot round on his tummy and backwards on his tummy but can't go forwards. Can pull to stand in the bath, and occasionally on something the right height. DT2 can roll, a bit. That's it. That's all they can do... More mother guilt, as some of it is lack of opportunity to put them down as there's two of them... Like today, I'd have brought out a rug if there was one to pick up and race after DD with. Our garden wraps all round the house, so lots of scope for toddler misdemeanors, so to avoid having an abandoned baby,, they're buggied to bring with. Sigh.

fish I've not been out with dh hardly at all since DD born nearly 2.5 years ago but my me-ness improved dramatically when she was toddling, not feeding in the day and a bit less dependent on me in particular. Hang in there, this really is a brief period...

And thanks everyone for messages of support in the Crap mummy stakes. Believe me, you can't outdo me (did I mention I feed my babies bourbon biscuits to keep the mealtime bedlam to a minimum when i can't cope?! DT2 once had only 3 rich tea biscuits for his tea...). Oh dear, how rock bottom standards are since DD!

Anyway, I'm off to paint up ready for the night, like you elph.

RARRRGH!!!! into the nighttime battle we go!!!!!

ElphabaTheGreen Sun 03-Mar-13 21:45:06

Three wake ups in under three hours so far. <sigh>

DH and I have been out together once by ourselves since DS was born. It was on my birthday in January. We'd just had lunch and were a third of the way through The Hobbit when nursery called to come and get DS because he was running a temp. That's it. And we spent most of lunch formulating A Plan to get him to sleep. Which didn't eventuate because he was ill for the next week.

Oh, ho, the glamorous life!

StitchAteMySleep Sun 03-Mar-13 23:11:57

Going out??!! What does that entail?

Haven't been out since DH's granny had her 80th birthday Jamaican dancehall knees up tea party when I was 8 months pregnant with dd1! Four bloody years ago <no life emoticon>

Dreaming you need this, with summer coming it would be invaluable. You could put a tarpaulin under it if the grass is damp and if you have a garden umbrella for some shade you'd be ready to go.

Fishandjam Sun 03-Mar-13 23:20:28

Day From Hell today. Plus 2 hours of screaming from DD between bedtime at 7pm and 9pm. Both me and DH at breaking point, doing things we really shouldn't (shouting, slamming the table etc) - but had really good heart-to-heart once DD had exhausted herself, on the subject of how we can cope better if we adopt the worst case scenario and assume she isn't going to improve.

Fishandjam Mon 04-Mar-13 13:11:29

Gah, turns out DD also has galloping grotty ears! (After last night's screamathon I thought I'd better get her checked over, just in case there was something specific.) How much of a bad mummy do I feel now...

StitchAteMySleep Mon 04-Mar-13 15:54:05

Oh your poor dd Fish, at least you know what it is now. I wish babies came with a manual so that you could understand what is wrong before they start to talk.

ElphabaTheGreen Mon 04-Mar-13 19:50:02

A bit of a diversion of topic - WTF am I going to get DH for his birthday on Friday? Needs to be online since I won't have time to go to a real shop before then. I've bought him so many Amazon gift vouchers he could paper a (virtual) room with them.

Go! grin

HearMyRoar Mon 04-Mar-13 20:45:27 sets,we watch a lot when dd is sleeping badly as short episodes are easier then a whole film. Currently watching breaking bad, which is amazing. Or tickets to a sports or music event if he is into that sort of thing, he could go with a mate if you don't fancy it.

It's my dp's bday in a few weeks and I got him a vacuum coffee maker . Very and fun in one shiny glass thingumy! grin

StitchAteMySleep Mon 04-Mar-13 21:24:41

Depends on what kind of a guy he is and budget.

For the outdoorsy diy type a Leatherman multi tool.

For the techie type an Eton FXR2 Radio.

Gamer -Neo Geo X

Big Kid - remote controlled helicopter

Sports - rugby or football tickets

Cars - day at Silverstone or trip to Le Mans.

Foody - wine and cheese hamper, wine tasting day, bbq stuff.

Big mug, silly desk toys (drum kit, rugby game, Henry hoover).

ElphabaTheGreen Tue 05-Mar-13 06:43:32

Well, last night (and the night before) was utter balls, but now he's so asleep, it looks like I won't see him awake before I leave for work. Gah! BABIES!

I've heard Breaking Bad is good, akshully. Could be a goer. I'm the coffee fiend of us two (three guesses why, she says, looking at comatose baby) so that could be a present for meeeee! grin What is this desktop rugby game, Stitch? DH is such a fanatic, he's a season ticket holder, so that trumps me on tickets (and I've bought out the supporter's shop for him several times over) but maybe a bit of rugby jollity for his work desk would amuse him...

StitchAteMySleep Tue 05-Mar-13 10:59:30

Oh it's a silly cheap toy, this one.

StitchAteMySleep Tue 05-Mar-13 11:07:45

Tour of twickenham stadium?

Membership of England Rugby Supporters Club? See link for benefits.

ElphabaTheGreen Tue 05-Mar-13 12:14:09

Ah - we're in the north so it's The Other Rugby that we follow smile That conversion toy looks entertaining...

HearMyRoar Wed 06-Mar-13 07:51:58

Well, we had our evening out in the big city last night and it was all absolutely fine !

I know! Who could have predicted that. She woke up 15mins after we left but was apparently very good and just played and watched bag pus for a few hours. We came home to find her happily passed out on our friends lap looking super cute grin

ElphabaTheGreen Wed 06-Mar-13 19:00:56

Jealous, Hear! Did you go see anything?

I have a lovely MIL so I hope I didn't offend her today. She'd cut an article by some 'sleep expert' out of a newspaper for me. Unfortunately, it started with the fateful words, 'By six months, babies should be sleeping through the night.' It got lobbed forcibly into the recycling with a comment along the lines of, 'hardly an expert if that's the bullshit he choses to spout'. She laughed nervously. I hope I was sufficiently apologetic blush

HearMyRoar Wed 06-Mar-13 19:22:38

We went to see Steve Reich doing his radio head thingy at the royal festival hall. It was very good. We did do a lot of prep with dd and our friend which I think really paid off. She has even agreed to sit for a couple of hours at the end of the month so we can go out to dinner for dp's bday. Gosh. It's like a whole new world, I was sooooo stressed about it but glad dp was so firm about us going now smile

I think you sound very restrained. I think I must project a 'don't even fucking think about it' aura as for the most part people seem to stop themselves offering too much advice. Or maybe I've just got really good at ignoring them.

Dd has been a poo monster all day today. I seriously can't work out how it all fit inside her. Hoping it might have sorted her poorly belly out a bit though as the past few nights have been awful.

lucylookout Thu 07-Mar-13 22:27:01

Glad you had a good night Hear. I think we're a long way off going out as a couple, but I'm coming round to thinking if I did go out and leave DS with dh it would probably be absolutely fine. It might take dh longer to settle him. DS might be upset but that wouldn't be the end if the world, would it. I'm going to have to take the plunge sometime.

DS no longer has his cold but does have a new tooth. Ironically when his cold/teething was worse he slept a little better. Probably because I kept him quite drugged up blush. Last night and tonight so far have been pretty bad. I feel like I've been up and down he stairs 20 times already. Ho hum. BUT, last week I really concentrated on his naps (basically stayed in his room with him for 2 hours over lunch and got him to go to sleep and stay asleep by any means necessary) and this week he seems to have 'got it' and has been sleeping for up to 2 hrs over lunch each day. It's life changing!

ElphabaTheGreen Sat 09-Mar-13 07:43:58

Well, the universe arranged a far better birthday present for DH than I could ever have thought up. We're in a semi. The other half recently went up for sale after the previous owner died. It sold very quickly. It turns out the new owner is the super-star player from my husband's rugby team. shock grin I have a feeling DH is going to be doing a lot of sweeping of our driveway and minutely tending to the hedge between the properties from now on...

DS sleep is miserable, however. Every. Two. Hours. At the very longest. And he's got another cold. Surely he's exceeded the quota for a child under one by now??

HearMyRoar Sat 09-Mar-13 10:55:57

You're dh will be found with welcome cookies and asking to borrow sugar before then week is out elph grin

We have come to the conclusion that dd's fabulous nights were the results of illness rather than diet as they are back to previous awfulness. We're going to stop the gluten free as its a pain and we're still getting no sleep. Hopefully this won't result in it getting even worse!

ElphabaTheGreen Sun 10-Mar-13 08:17:58

Mother's Day present - tickets to The Book of Mormon in London in July grin It's a matinee, but we'll still be home well after DS's bed time. Preparation tips, Hear?

joanna1985 Mon 11-Mar-13 14:35:55

Hi people, my lo is only 6 months. I put him to bed at 8 and he sleeps (in my bed) until about 11 or 12 and then wakes up crying for a feed, after he goes back to sleep hel sleep on a good night till 4 then bottle then sleep till 7. Seems like all my friends babys were sleeping through the night by 6 months. My baby has porridge in the morn has his lunch and dinner and 7 oz bottles every 4 hours. Surely he should b getting enough in the day? Can any one give me any tips?

ElphabaTheGreen Mon 11-Mar-13 18:55:59

I'm afraid this is the group where the two wake-ups you've described sound like utter bliss, and you're more likely to get us asking you for tips! grin Since we had six wake-ups here last night, I can confidently say that I have no tried and tested solutions to disrupted infant sleep. I've tried and tested my arse off. No solutions. Whatsoever.

HearMyRoar Mon 11-Mar-13 19:21:23

Joanna please ignore all the people who try and tell you that their DC always sleep through the night and never wake up. Some do at 6 months but many don't. It is perfectly normal and fine that your DC is waking up for a feed or two in the night, he is probably simply hungry. Try having a look at this site if you need some reassurance. It is based on proper research rather then random hearsay and explains that only about half of babies sleep 8 hours at 5 months and generally babies don't sleep through the night until closer to a year. Even then 27% still wake up regularly.

elph we made sure that dd spent time with our mate at ours. Me and dp pottered about the rest of the house and left them to get to know each other. Our friend then came round an hour early so dd could spend time with her with us about and feel comfortable with her.

We also made sure we left out all her most favourite toys and books, bagpuss in the DVD player and a selection of her favourite foods. All in easy reach so as soon as dd woke up our friend could quickly wave blueberries at her and district her with bagpuss before she had a chance to get herself in a flap.

It seemed to work out. I think it's one of those things where thinking about it is much worse then the actual event. I was so stressed about leaving her that if dp hadn't been firm about it I would have pulled out I think, but now I've done it I'm super glad we did. You'll have a great time and your ds will be fine smile

joanna, I too am very jealous. My DT1 wakes every 1-3 hours. All night. Every night. DT2 wakes once sometimes, but has had a bad week and 4,5,6,7 times a night he's been up screaming. Two wake-ups will end, naturally probably. I'd say ride it out. Or maybe, in this group, Ride The Mo Fo Out grin

So ladies, as you'll see, we are still in sleep hell. In good news, DT1 has finally started on ranitidine for silent reflux (though he does vomit incredibly easily, but not constantly iykwim, though puking his whole tea up 5 nights a week wasn't uncommon). Instantly happier baby. Still waking, but not screaming, writhing, arching, so I'm very pleased. We really struggle to get it down him though...

Oh. Mine are 11 months now...

We are over the illness quota here too, much sympathy for all the poorly babies, and even more for the parents. thanks

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