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Self soothing

(12 Posts)
Alia01 Tue 23-Oct-12 08:31:36


We have a 10 week old boy. He has his last feed at 7pm and goes in his cot awake at 7:30. He self settled by 8pm. Sleeps soundly till 1:30 when we feed him (takes 5oz). That's all good. After that he will fussy every 1 - 1 1/2 hours till we feed him again at 4pm (he only take 1 1/2 - 2 oz at this feed) Again will fussy until 7am when we get him up. We used to give him a dummy and that would sort him out, but it means getting up and putting dummy back in about 8/10 times a night? He's to young to hold a muslin/comforter and is trying to suck his thumb (but not quit there yet)
He has 2 naps in the morning and 1 in the afternoon and he is happy to self settle each nap.
Could you please tell me if you have has the same problem at night. Not sure how to help he settle back to sleep once he's woken? We attempted to let him cry him self back to sleep when he woke after his 1:30pm feed, but he just got him self so worked up I couldn't stand to leave him for more than 15min! Please any advise would by most appreciated.

whatsinthebagangelos Tue 23-Oct-12 08:55:53


At 10 weeks he has no other ability than to cry in order to get his needs met, please please don't try to get him to self soothe or cry himself to sleep, this will fill his little brain with stress hormones. You will need to go to him each time he wakes and cries. He needs to know this will happen in order to feel safe. If you don't go to him he will cry for a while and then 'settle' which really means he has just given up.

I don't mean to sound critical but he really is too young for any method of controlled crying. Give him loads of hugs, he won't necessarily need a feed each time he wakes. He just needs yousmile

Alia01 Tue 23-Oct-12 09:28:09


Thanks for your reply. Oviously I am happy to give him plenty of cuddles, but it almost feels like we're taking a step back. Like I say he's happy to fall asleep on his own for his naps and at bedtime. (No crying at all)
It's just n the night. I know he not hungry (that's why we only feed him at 1:30 and 4am) it's just when he wakes from the light sleep (in their sleep cycle) he's doesn't seem to know how to go back off easily??

Inneedofbrandy Tue 23-Oct-12 09:36:58

Is it wind from the bottle? Maybe try him on his side or a few towels under the mattress to tilt it up. Gripe water might help? My ds had to sleep on his tummy and self soothing is fine if that's what you do for your dc. Both mine self soothed and still sleep lovely now at 7 and 5!

Clumsasaurus Tue 23-Oct-12 09:45:15

Have you tried making bed time a bit later? My DS is 10 weeks and isn't remotely interested in sleep before 8:30 and is properly asleep for the night at 10. He then sleeps 6 hrs has a quick (7-15 min feed) and goes back to sleep until 08:30-9) that said, naps are hit and miss here!

SquidgersMummy Tue 23-Oct-12 09:54:12

At 10wks I think it's really hard for a baby to self soothe - we have cot against bed, attached, much easier for everyone to sleep (DD 11wks) I too would worry re stress hormones in that little brain - sounds critical, I really don't mean it to, but at this age they need someone to sort it out for them. Cortisol/stress has a big impact on a little one. (Really hope you don't think I'm a cow - at work this is my bag and I've read the evidence.) He needs you smile and nothing more!! Kind of flattering (if not also knackering! grin.)


Alia01 Tue 23-Oct-12 10:00:46

We try putting him down later but he just falls asleep with out a feed! We have also tried dream feeding him at 11pm but found he still woke at 1:30pm and took another full bottle.
He sleeps soundly from 8pm till 1:30am. It's just after that he stir's every few hours. We used to give him a dummy and he would be sound asleep again within seconds. I happy to carry on with the dummy, but don't want to be doing it when he's 6months old. Didn't know if it was best to stop now or just insure for a few more months and hopfully he will naturally learn to sleep better after the night feeds.

P.S after the feed he will go back to sleep happily, but will wake approximate 1 - 2 hours after and then be able to settle.

blushingmare Tue 23-Oct-12 18:50:44

I think it's just his age. My dd has just started, at 20 weeks, to settle down a bit better after her night feeds. I read somewhere that for everyone - babies and adults - we sleep most soundly in the first part of the night and the second half of the night is a lighter, more unsettled sleep. So that would explain why it's from 1:30 onwards that is difficult.

ElphabaTheGreen Tue 23-Oct-12 19:26:15

Hate to say this, but it's probably going to get a whole lot worse before it gets better come four months and the hideousness of sleep regression. I'd persist with whatever works for now (i.e. dummy), because it's all going to go to pot, or at the very least, change several more times, over the next few weeks.

Inneedofbrandy Tue 23-Oct-12 19:30:50

Y dd had a dummy till 7/8 months ( I couldn't find a dummy so it was tough shit and I thought get it over and done with now)

ElphabaTheGreen Tue 23-Oct-12 19:32:37

PS Don't know anything about formula, sorry, but are you sure he doesn't need more of a feed between 1:30 and 4am - he's definitely not fussing because he's peckish? If he was BF, I'd say feed him every time he wakes. I know they're meant to last longer with formula but he's still only going to have a small tum so may need more frequent feeds...?

molejazz Wed 24-Oct-12 02:15:49

He's a very young baby. It's completely normal for him to wake that often and need help getting back to sleep. And he will change his routines every week or so for months and months, so best not to overthink it really. I agree if he was bf you'd be feeding him every time he woke. Hopefully he will find his thumb soon and you'll be away (my 13 week DD has just cracked it).

About the later bedtime, clum it probably works for your baby because he isn't getting up for the day until 8.30-9. IME they really do seem to have a 11-13 hr "night" which you can tweak to suit your evening/morning needs.

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