How to stop 2.9 y.o. waking for long spells in the night

[AngelDog]

DS1 has never been a great sleeper but it's got worse since the arrival of DS2 a week ago. I know it's normal for this to affect sleep, but we're all suffering. He has been up for 1.5 hours in the night every night bar one since Sunday.

I used to co-sleep with DS1 whilst DH was in the spare room. However, DS1 wakes every time the baby does so he's now co-sleeping with DH in the spare room. The first night he was inconsolable when he woke, but since then he seemed to accept it (though he still woke). Last night DH had to come and hand him over to me though as DS1 was in a right state.

Daytime behaviour is pretty awful, with tiredness definitely being a big factor. Yesterday he asked for milk and tried to go to sleep at naptime which he hasn't done for several weeks. He dropped his nap about 2 months ago. I'm very loathe to let him nap as it means he doesn't get tired at bedtime till at least 10.30pm.

Normal bedtime is 8.30pm on non-nap days. After DS was awake for a 4 hour stretch the night I came home from hospital we were putting him to bed early but that's no longer working as he's now waking early.

DS2 cluster feeds from about 10ish to between midnight and 1.30am so between the two of them I have no hope of getting to bed at a reasonable hour.

DH suffers from insomnia and is enjoying co-sleeping but finding it very hard work. He isn't really able to help me with any of the other practicalities of adjusting to a new baby as all the time he can currently spare is taken up with DS1's sleep.

Any advice, other than that this too shall pass?

[ProbablyDoingTheWrongThing]

ethan getting a night light and a lego bin truck and a make up kin on a list x

[ProbablyDoingTheWrongThing]

ethan going to hart street next week

[ProbablyDoingTheWrongThing]

deer tom ethan going to hart street next week xxx

[blueberry1972]

Watching with interest as I'm in a similar position with 2wk old dd. my 4yo and 23mth ds's share a room but ds2 wakes often in the night. DD and I slept in the lounge for the first few days, we are now sleeping in mine and dp's bed whilst dp sleeps on the floor in the boys room. At least whilst we were in the lounge we weren't woken by the noise upstairs and if you can do this too just for a couple of nights you might get some more zzzz's

[AngelDog]

Yes, thankfully we have a loft conversion so DS2 and I are there while DH and DS1 are on the floor below - you can still hear, but not too much.

We've agreed that we won't let DS1 come up to the bedroom where I am - he has to stay put and I'll go to him (as a last resort). That way he won't end up sleeping (and waking!) in the room where DS2 and I are fast asleep.

DS2 actually slept for a 5 hour stretch last night - shame I had to be up for an hour with DS1 in the middle of it!