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Unbelievably clingy - literally cannot put him down!

(11 Posts)
newmummyrollercoaster Sun 21-Oct-12 14:27:36

I posted for the first time the other day about my 4 month old's sleeping (bad) habits - he just keeps waking constantly and is feeding like crazy in the night. Things seem to have got worse in the past couple of days though and now he will only sleep in my arms, and every time I put him down he cries. A lot.

With his naps, I used to rock him to sleep and put him in his cot within a couple of mins. Now I try continuously rocking, then putting him in his cot, and every time he wakes instantly and cries. So I've ended up cuddling him for his naps which is ridiculous. Not only that but last night the same thing happened. Brought him into our bed which wasn't enough, he needed to be in my arms in our bed. Needless to say, shattered doesn't cover it!

So worried we are falling into every bad habit going and things are getting worse. What choices do we have? The advice seems to be he's too little for controlled crying so do we just have to keep going with whatever works and hope for a miracle? Anyone have a magic wand?!

Raspberrysorbet Sun 21-Oct-12 18:30:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BlingLoving Sun 21-Oct-12 21:37:05

Have you checked that he does not have reflux? I assume he sleeps on as long as you are holding him up? In which case I would see a dr. You can also prop his brib/mattress so he is t flat but ime that only really helps once they are on meds.

KayteeB12 Sun 21-Oct-12 21:59:50

hey hunny
speaking from experience here as im a mum of a 14 month old DS who had (and still has) the exact same sleep problems as your little one. He either needs to be rocked to sleep in his buggy or fed to sleep and its a bloody nightmare! I do believe he is too young for CC and even the threshold of 6 months i believe is too young but thats just me
However, i do believe you need to nip it in the bud now or trust me it never ends and gets worst lol im speaking now as a sleep deprived mum. How about putting him down to sleep, with a propper up matress and shh and pat his back to help him go off to sleep? This way he wont have the whole rocking thing. Once this starts working, stop with the patting and continue with the shh'ing and eventually just sitting till he's sleeping xxx

ATourchOfInsanity Sun 21-Oct-12 22:01:54

Have you tried Calpol? My DD got her first teeth at 4mo and I wasn't sure why she was so clingy at the time...it's unusual but can happen smile

KayteeB12 Sun 21-Oct-12 22:04:24

i agree with the Calpol. It cant do any harm, and could be the answer xx

Iggly Sun 21-Oct-12 22:07:42

I disagree that you have to nip it in the bud now or else.

I have two and both go through phases. As long as you keep trying every now and then to go back to how it was before, they will get there, just don't force it if it doesn't work immediately.

He could be ill (colds aplenty around this time of year and it isn't always obvious they're ill at first), but most likely it's the 4 month developmental leap which causes the infamous 4 month sleep regression (coupled with a growth spurt).

It will pass.

SoSweetAndSoCold Sun 21-Oct-12 22:08:25

My DC3 was like this. I slept with her on my chest for the first few weeks, the slowly she moved from my chest to my armpit region for a few months. I mean during the night, so I would sleep when she would sleep.

For naps she only slept in the car or buggy.

She is now 2 and sleeps all night in her cot and I go and wake her in the morning!

I am a big fan of co-sleeping. With my PFB we did the whole stressing about 'bad habits' stuff, spent our life going back and forth to a screaming baby, staying next to his cot with our hand touching him and dreading moving away in case he woke up, creeping out of his room backwards etc etc etc. Then at age 2 he slept in our bed overnight by accident, slept brilliantly, slept past 5am for the first time and I was an instant convert! He decided himself age 3 that he would move into his own bed.

DC2 was a dream baby re sleep and so never needed to co-sleep.

So I suppose what I am saying is, it's just a phase, try not to get too worried that you are getting them into 'bad habits'. Co-sleeping doesn't work for everyone, and you need to make your own judgements re safety etc, but it has been a brilliant thing for me. Baby sleeps, you sleep, no one cries - result!

PacificDogwood Sun 21-Oct-12 22:12:06

Huge sympathies - the unputdownable baby is so, so hard to look after.

My DS1, now 9, was like this.
He cried for the first year of his life (and is still a drama queen grin).

He did not have reflux.
Calpol did not help.
Feeding more/less/something different did not help.
White noise/rocking crib/hoover/whashing machine did not just not help, but made him hysterical.

I am sure I tried all sorts of other things.

What helped was - submitting to it.
Once I had my head around that he was expressing a need in the only way he new how, it got better.
I held him. A lot.
I got a sling.
I co-slept.
If I wasn't holding him, DH was holding him. Or a friend, or a neighbour, or a random passer by (well, not quite, but you get my drift).

My advice is: trust your instincts and do tell people who advise you about the old rod for your own back to fuck off get lost. Or hold the baby for you wink.
By all means try anything that you think might help and with any luch you will hit on the magic answer. But if not, just go with it.
I totally concur with 'it too shall pass' - it does not seem like it at the time, but it does.
I am the world's least hippy mum, but by jove, DS1 made me into a demand-feeding, baby-wearing, co-slipping lentil-weaver. He was a hard taskmaster, but he taught us good.

DS2 btw came along exactily 12 months later and had to teach us to PUT HIM DOWN and stop shuggling him all the time grin.
They are all different - so true, but so hard to accept and to see when you are in the midst of it. Oh, and at 4 weeks, he is still tiny - it could all change tomorrow. Reflux well worthwhile having checked out though (although dS2 had reflux - he was prem - and was the most contented, well sleeping baby every).

PacificDogwood Sun 21-Oct-12 22:14:21

Sorry about typos.

I also recommend 'The Fussy Baby Book' by Dr Sears.
It probably saved DS1's life and certainly my sanity.

KayteeB12 Mon 22-Oct-12 10:12:35

cosleeping is a great way to tackle these problems however it is difficult to wean a co-sleeper as im experiencing now
but if it works for you now, then go for it xx

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