5 year old ds too bored to sleep...

[dippyeggs]

My DS is 5, just started year one.

For the last 12 months, he has struggled to get to sleep at night. Since we (horror) belatedly took his dummy away. I know 4 yrs, awful. Guilt etc.

I split from my exh in March, these problems started way before that and we managed that the kids (also have nrly 3yr dd) didn't witness any fights or upset. Not quite sure how we managed it but we did... so am fairly confident that as this started before that, although he is obviously upset and misses daddy (sees twice a week) that this is unconnected. It's so easy to blame everything on the split.

Anyway, I put my dd to bed at 7pm and wait for her to got to sleep before ds goes up (before 8pm) - otherwise there is ww3...

He then usually shouts for me until around 9pm, I'm bored, can hear noises... I'm not tired, I need water - anything really. He doesn't get out of bed. We solved that about xmas time last year and it seems to have stuck thank goodness. I go up and down the stairs not wanting him to wake up dd....

It's just so hard. I'm on my own with the most of the time, I work and am exhausted and just need to have some head space before I go to bed. I often end up going to bed just after he has fallen asleep.

I have tried reward charts, cuddles, bribes staying calm... Have now started to shout a lot which I hate. He generally, obviously, responds very badly to me losing my temper. I explain its bedtime, suggest he looks at a book etc. That I need to eat my dinner, that I will check him in 10 mins if he is quiet...

He generally is a good lad, very sociable, and conforms very well at school/with others, but very disobedient at home, rarely doing anything I ask him to do.... Distracted, not listening...

Anyone got any thoughts on resolving the going to bed/sleep thing? He is obviously exhausted. It doesn't seem to matter when I take him to bed... I have pushed bedtime later he still calls and calls.... Same when he's with exh and he is struggling too - we are trying to work together..

[whenwill]

audiobook on a loop?
Stay with him/in room till he sleeps- might be quite quick. Then use gradual withdrawal and checking.

[NoWittyName]

Christianne Kerr does wonderful meditations for kids including one call 'bedtime meditations'. My son had real problems going to sleep about a year after my daughter died. These were suggested by a child psychologist and my son has listened to them every night since (about 4 years now!!)

They are available on Amazon - give them a go.

Good luck.
x