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Damn, appears I actually *have* made a rod for my own back - pls help me sort 3yo dd.

(4 Posts)
phdlife Tue 09-Oct-12 23:41:01

Dd bf'd until she was 37m - there are many, many threads about me trying to get her to stop, especially her relentless night feeding, but the fact is, she is a, shall we say... forceful character, yes, that's it, forceful - and she broke me every time. Relentless screaming will do that to you.

That is over now, but you needed to know it because it was during this time that she developed the habit that plagues me still: on my chest are two moles, and because she used to touch them with her fingertips while she was feeding (ah, sweet), they are now her main comfort object. During the day, she comes frequently to sit on my lap, suck her thumb, and touch my spots. As I say, sweet. Lots of lovely cuddles.

BUT.

Not so sweet at 5am, which is when she's currently waking thanks to the bloody dawn bloody chorus (we're in Oz, please understand that it roars round the suburbs like a brawl between pissed-off goats and violent roosters, each armed with an air-horn). No. At 5am, she wakes, bellows for me (well she has to, to be heard over the bloody parrots), and then wants to touch my spots to get her back to sleep. Only she can't get back to sleep, because she's already had ten hours, the sun's peeping through the blackout blinds (stupid badly designed window) and what's more, her favorite person in the world is lying right there! So she rummages relentlessly around in my cleavage and bounces her fingertips off my bloody spots until I get snarly.

I've tried just going in and telling her it's too early, go back to sleep, and let her touch the spots for a minute (literally), before going back to my own bed - all that earns me is another bellow five minutes later. So guess what, now not only are she and I up, so is her brother - and he could really, really use the extra sleep. To be fair, so could dd - she is absolutely exhausted by midday, but we have failed napping too and I don't always manage to get her one (but that is another over-long post). Either way, it doesn't make a difference to the early-waking, only to how crabby we are. I mean, she is.

This is the one thing stopping me spending the children's inheritance on one of those sleep-trainer clocks: I imagine she'd just continue yelling, and anyway, it's not going to get her back to sleep, is it?

Short of having the bloody spots removed, I -- oh, pants, they've finished their show, and in the space of the last two sentences have asked me approximately five thousand questions, so I totally can't remember what I was going to say, or ask, next, which is probably just as well as this sleep-deprived rambling is probably boring you to pieces and anyway it's breakfast time. But if you have any good ideas, I'd be ever so grateful. I seem to have none of my own.

iwasyoungonce Tue 09-Oct-12 23:50:59

I have a similar rod, in the form of a manky nightie that I have to wear when I give my DS (3) his milk at night (I suspect I should have stopped that too by now, but, well, you know...) and he wakes at night and wants to fiddle with the edge of the nightie - which is now completely hanging off. (I still co-sleep).

So, lots of rods there really. No help whatsoever from me! But lots of sympathy. grin

FatLadyAboutToSing Tue 09-Oct-12 23:58:30

There's a sleep therapist (?!) round here who will basically hold your hand when you do all the difficult to do stuff like leaving them to scream/getting into the cot with them, etc. I think she's called Lullababies and she told me she works internationally so she must advise over the net. She's quite pricey but it was honestly worth every single penny. Your problem is a bit unusual but she's come across just about everything, she says. If you can't find her by googling you can PM me and I will look up her number for you. That's if you're interested. Going to bed now so won't be posting any more tonight. Good luck getting some sleep. smile

steppemum Wed 10-Oct-12 00:14:52

Op she is three, and I think at some point you are going to have to let her know that you can say no and mean it (don't mean that in a nasty way, just that she seems to have the upper hand at the moment.)

I would forget trying to get her back to sleep, and focus on staying quiet (which may eventually lead to her sleeping longer) I would talk to her about how 7am (or whenever) is when morning starts. if she wakes up before you will come in, see if she is ok and then go back to bed. If she doesn't want to go back to sleep she can sit in her bed and look at books. But she is not allowed up until morning time.

Then introduce the sleep fairy. She leaves stickers for girls who stay quiet til morning. Get a socket timer. Put a lamp in the hall on the timer. The sleep fairy turns the light on when it is morning, start with 5:30 and as she can do that make it 6 etc. If she is still in bed when the light goes on, fairy leaves tiny present. Collect stickers and make a chart and so on.

If you focus on the stay quiet and in bed, then the need to play with the moles to sleep is reduced, and she learns to self settle and will eventually learn to sleep longer

well, that's the theory anyway........

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