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Rod for my own back...

(15 Posts)
JuniperJaz Tue 02-Oct-12 23:03:05

I have been cosleeping with my 17 week old baby for about 8/10 weeks as I am breastfeeding her and it was easier for me to sleep feeding her.

Now it's basically all gone tits up and I'm literally at the end of my teather.

She uses me as the human dummy to get her off to sleep and snacks at the all-you-can-eat booby buffet all night. She will not sleep day or night without nipple in mouth.
This has resulted in her drinking milk all night with obvious side effects of getting very windy and squirmy. Keeping us awake.
I don't know how much milk she is taking but I imagine it's more than she takes during the day (although she feeds well in the day)

DP and I would like our bed back and at least an hours unbroken sleep with dd in her moses but she just wakes up as soon as she hits the moses basket or after being in there asleep for about 25 minutes.

I'm so sleep deprived, It's now impacting on my ability to function and I can't catch up on sleep during the day as dd will fall asleep feeding, I put her down and she is awake screaming for me within half an hour.
I'm sure she's not getting enough quality sleep either.

I'm blaming myself because i think that if I hadn't started co sleeping she would not have had boobies on tap and be able to settle better? It's sad because when she was newborn she would sleep longer and better than she does now. Everyone bigs-up co sleeping but I've found it true what the oldies say, I've created a rod for my own back.

Sorry for the long post, don't often post here but I'm desperate....

Sossiges Tue 02-Oct-12 23:08:19

Could she be teething? My DD started at 3 months and had lots of nights like you describe when her teeth were bothering her.

JuniperJaz Tue 02-Oct-12 23:12:57

It's something I've seriously considered Sossiges (thanks for the quick reply!) She dribbles lots and chews everything during the day but I didn't know whether putting everything in the mouth to chew on was normal at this age. I suppose only time will tell with that one....

Sossiges Tue 02-Oct-12 23:21:22

Drooling was the first sign with mine, I had no idea they started teething that early shock (and chewing is a definite sign) - but her first teeth took another 3/4 months to appear. YY to the constant feeding, not sleeping without tit in mouth and 'rod for own back' worries. Ooh, I'm having horrible flashbacks now just thinking about it...

Sossiges Tue 02-Oct-12 23:26:52

I found homoeopathic camomile helped with calming down/dropping off so maybe worth a try? Maybe Ashton & Parsons teething powders if you prefer them, but I found the bigger pillules easier to give and less messy when you miss their mouth and it goes all over the carpet.

cheesebaby Tue 02-Oct-12 23:48:44

She could be using you as pain relief (sucking helps babies' response to pain). The wind could be a result of feeding; but it could also be related to whatever is making her unsettled. Babies of this age do need to feed often but if she is literally on the boob all night (rather than every couple of hours which could be a normal phase) that suggests something else is bothering her. I doubt it is the bedsharing in itself tho. Have you tried calpol?

Seriouslysleepdeprived Wed 03-Oct-12 11:00:56

Sympathises OP, 3-5 months were a real low point for me. The sleep just seemed to get worse & worse. I was at my wits end & thought I may have PND it was so miserable.

They are doing so much developmentally between 6-26 weeks. I found co-sleeping the only way to get through it (& i tried not to as DS also happy in his cot). Have you seen The Wonder Weeks ? Saved my sanity.

DS's sleep was the most appalling between 16-20 weeks, whether we co-slept or not. He just did not sleep at all. He was cranky & wired. It got much better by 20 weeks just on its own.

Once he was over that growth period he changed so much, laughing, rolling, sitting. He also started going 3-4 hours between feeds during the day. I decided to stick to this at night too. DH would resettle him (i'm crap & just boob him blush) & after a few weeks we are finally seeing improvements.

He's now back in his cot & woke once last night for feed. Managed to get on top of the naps too with a sling which helped. It took 6 weeks so not instant & I'm sure will go to pot again once we start solids....!

Cydonia Wed 03-Oct-12 12:11:46

If it helps, my DS is 18 weeks and since 12 weeks has been chewing, dribbling, feeding very frequently during the day and waking roughly every 2 hours at night. We don't co sleep. He got his first two teeth a couple of weeks ago, just wish the others would hurry up and come through! He doesn't nap either, had 2 naps yesterday of less than 30 mins each sad

I can deal with the whole growth spurt / developmental phase thing, but what bugs me is that all babies grow and develop, why do some just quietly get on with it and sleep through from 6 weeks?! And why do ours make such a fuss? < why me? emoticon >

Seriouslysleepdeprived Wed 03-Oct-12 13:21:24

I know! DS is such a text book baby. Loads of my mums friends sailed through with hardly any fuss at all. I, on the other hand was a total wreck. Always late & bedraggled. I'm only just starting yo look reasonable again!

naturalbaby Wed 03-Oct-12 13:34:28

would you use a dummy? It does has it down sides (constantly putting it back in when it falls out) but I had a very sucky baby and it let us space feeds out better. I also gave them a comforter early on so it helped them settle to sleep by cuddling something and was a very useful sleep association later on.

Work on gradually working towards how/where you want your DD to sleep. I used a co-sleeper cot so gradually moved baby further away from me but I was still just next to him. I put him to sleep on his side as he would roll onto his side next to me, put the comforter (muslin) against the side of his face to snuggle into and added an extra layer because our bed was so warm with the duvet. Some days were better than others, you may feel like it's 2 steps back and one forward but stick at it and it will get better a little bit each day.

MrsHoarder Wed 03-Oct-12 13:41:30

How does she sleep in your bed? We put DS's cot up when we realise his moses basket stopped him lying like a starfish (and taking up all of our bed).

JuniperJaz Wed 03-Oct-12 16:34:48

Thanks for the responses, I think she just associates sleep with feeding/ sucking and cannot settle otherwise. I love actually sleeping with her but it's the wriggling, kicking pulling off, biting that comes along with it between the sleeping that's hard.
I will get HV to check her teeth to see what she thinks as teething is looking like one of the culprits.

Unfortunately DD will not take a dummy in any way, shape or form and will reluctantly take about 3oz from a bottle (enough to see her through until next BF)

It makes it easier knowing i'm not the only one who has gone through this and yes, it is much harder knowing that some mums have babies who sleep from 7-7 and have a two hour nap twice a day. Or even babies that sleep for more than a couple of hours at night!!

I didn't want to start getting angry at her, it's not her fault, last night I had to thrust her into DPs arms, walk out of the room and just cool off. It's so hard getting half an hour's sleep at a time and having to go out every day and function!

Seriously- Thanks for the link, will download onto the kindle and see how it goes.

It's just a phase, it's just a phase.......

cloudhands Thu 04-Oct-12 16:26:24

you poor thing! Co-sleeping can be lovely, but it isn't allways that way, especially when our DC get into the habit of feeding often. I co-sleep with my one year old out of choice, and I did go through a period of thinking I'd made a rod for my own back, when I heard about all the other cot sleeping babies who slept through the night. this article helped me and also a book called 'the aware baby' she now sleeps through the night, and we still co-sleep so it doesn't always have to be a rod for your back.

Sleeping throught the night

JuniperJaz Thu 04-Oct-12 20:42:12

Last night, every time she stirred and started sucking I only let her suck for a few seconds and would pull her off (got the idea from 'pantley pull off') she didn't seem to mind (no crying/ grizzling) and eventually gave up and went back to sleep. I made sure she had a good feed at least every 3 hours, She still woke up lots but I'm hoping that if I continue she will realise it's not worth it and stay asleep.

I've given up trying to get her to sleep in her moses basket, she hates it and it's too far away from me at the moment. We'll try to tackle one thing at a time.

JuniperJaz Thu 04-Oct-12 20:43:39

cloud Thanks for link, am checking out now!

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