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How many bad sleepers at 11 months? Even if you've tried everything?

(11 Posts)
Ouchdownthere Mon 01-Oct-12 23:18:04

DS, 11 MO, has always been a terrible sleeper. He is inconsistent and just when I think he has turned a corner his sleep falls apart totally and I am left at rock bottom wondering if he will ever actually sleep through the night and past 5AM.

We have tried everything to help him realise that sleep rocks, that it is just lovely to settle down and sleep all night. We saw a sleep specialist and after a month of hard graft, and absolute consistency, we definitely saw an improvement but it's not lasted and even the specialist was a little perplexed.

Just now as I was trying to comfort him I wondered how many babies are still rotten sleepers at this age? Rotten even though you have tried everything (bar CIO). Are there others out there who, like us, literally follow a script of consistent cues and nighttime behaviour and still have a poor sleeper?

Will it ever end? His inconsistency means I am on a bloody knife edge the whole time wondering what the night will bring - anyone got any tips in how to cope with that?

Thank you for reading my exasperated rant.

wanderingalbatross Mon 01-Oct-12 23:27:43

I have one of those too! She is now 16mo and really has (i hope!) turned a corner (at about 13mo, co-inciding with understanding). I followed as much advice as I could get and none of it really worked for us. My MIL tells me that you just need to look at the number of books about baby sleep to know that no-one's cracked it smile

I know other mums with similar age babies and they all seem to go through phased, but there are one or two poor sleepers who have been consistently bad.

I coped by co-sleeping and learning to wake up just enough to deal with the wakings, and by demanding at least one lie-in a week.

Ouchdownthere Mon 01-Oct-12 23:38:25

And most of them have found their way onto our bookshelf. Your MIL makes a wise point wandering.

Great news that your DD has turned a corner worries that I am putting a curse on you by saying that must be bloody amazing. I am so tempted to try co-sleeping again but just makes him even more permanently attached to the boob and I lay rigid trying not to disturb him.

Patience, it will pass. Patience, it will pass. Patience, it will pass.

reliablemillipede Mon 01-Oct-12 23:39:03

I was also suggest co-sleeping,I know it's not ideal etc etc, but if it means you are all getting sleep at night then it's got to be worth it, it won't last forever !!!!!

Ouchdownthere Mon 01-Oct-12 23:51:53

My other fear about cosleeping again is he will revert to not going into cot at all and needing to be with me to sleep at all times. At his worst I could not put him down at all as he wouldn't sleep alone for any more than 20 minutes, I'd be spilling my dinner over him as he slept on me.

If I start taking him into bed at 5 when he really can't be resettled I just know that will creep earlier and earlier until we are back at square one and he will only sleep on someone. Much as I adore his cuddles I do need some time without him or I will seriously hit depression.

Just ranting really I suppose. I can't risk the cosleeping taking us back so just need to suck it up and accept he just needs that wee bit more than some.

And now I can't sleep as too wired wondering how long before the next bout of crying begins? Ignore me, am moaning!

reliablemillipede Tue 02-Oct-12 23:24:56

Try not to over think things, sometimes it really is just easier to go with the flow and see how it goes, remember what is happening now sleep wise will not last forever, your ds is still very young, keep your chin up and dream of the day when he's a teen and you can't get him out of his bed for all the tea in china ! x

cbmum Tue 02-Oct-12 23:44:55

Hi there. The phrase 'it all will come to pass' seems appropriate. My two, just been 4 and 2 have only recently got to the stage where they go to bed with little fuss, sleep til 6ish but are now trained to play quietly in their room until their gro clock wakes at 6.45. But it doesn't work every night! Probably 3 nights out of 7 I end up being woken by DD1 as she appears in our room having had a horrible dream, or DD2 who doesn't get out if bed but just shouts until I appear. She usually wants another drink (I leave her some milk in a tommy tippee cup which she finds herself in the middle of the night) or some other random reason. Sometimes it's a case of a cuddle, stories back in bed and I escape quickly back to my bed. Other nights I end up climbing into her bed [they are now in bunk beds] and dozing until she falls asleep blush

I'd like to think its a combination of sleep training and my technique but I reckon it has more to do with the fact they understand rewards. I've always gone back to the millpond sleep clinic book and used their suggestions. It didn't really take off until a few months ago when I cracked and DH finally read the book too. It was either that or I break after 4 years of broken sleep and working in a fairly full on job for 4 days a week. A good night was 6 hours but interrupted at least 2 times by one or each child sad

We made them each a star chart and gradually moved their gro click forward from 5.30am (they were waking regularly to play in their room at 4!) to the current 6.45. After 5 stars they get a reward like a comic or pack of bubbles. After a full sheet (30 stars) they get a bigger reward. Eg. DD 2 had some Lego.

We are now 3 months in and it seems to be working. If you hear lots of people tell you their child sleeps either they are fibbing or damn lucky! In the meantime there is always coffee grin I now get to occasionally see midnight instead of going to bed at 10 and I'm certainly less tired.

IHeartCake Thu 04-Oct-12 11:53:41

Oh hi. I wish I'd seen this post a couple of days ago. Is it still active? I am in exactly the same situation as you and am just happy to hear that I'm not the only one. ohmigod I'm tired!!!!

My DS is 10mo and last night he woke up 8xs. A "good" night is 4 wakings but I can't remember the last time that happened. ONCE he only woke up 3xs and that felt like bliss!!!

We too have tried everything. He's a really active little boy and we can't cosleep cause he just crawls all over the bed.
He'll go down in his own cot awake just fine but then the NWs are driving me mental. And nothing works.

If I am present when he cries he will persist for hours, then wake up the same time the next night and do it again. Never getting better.
"After 3 nights they'll sleep through... my *ss!!"
We've done CC and again--we might see a slight improvement but he doesn't sleep through and after about a week, he'll completely revert. I can't just KEEP leaving him to cry... but there've been a LOT of tears in our house in the last 4 months. sad

hodgiebreeder Thu 04-Oct-12 13:15:43

Mine's rubbish too!!! Was ok but not brilliant until 9 months and then the dreaded regression hit and we've never really recovered. He's now nearly one. Thought we'd got it cracked as he had 2 nights of sleeping through last week but this week it's the same old story of waking up and taking around 2 hours to settle back to sleep. Like you, we're doing things 'by the book' no night feeds, no feeding to sleep, regular and consistent nap and bedtime routine etc. but no joy so far. Naps are a constant struggle and I always have to pram him to sleep. I'm hoping he'll just get the idea in his own time...... Just wish he'd bloody hurry up!!!!

IHeartCake Thu 04-Oct-12 16:17:32

Maybe our kids are future rocket scientists.
How do you manage to night wean when they are up 8xs a night?

Iggly Thu 04-Oct-12 21:08:43

Yes dd is 10 months. Ds is 3 and similar.
Both have food intolerances and reflux which messed with their sleep big time. I've read too many sleep books and the one thing that sticks out is that night wakings and poor sleep can be linked to food intolerances. Tackle that and you're halfway there.

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