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Toddler suddenly won't go to sleep on her own

(10 Posts)
twofalls Sun 30-Sep-12 02:24:39

At bedtime now I either have to cuddle her to sleep or pack her back. if I don't se screams ble murder, and I mean screams, claws at me, cries that she is scared. Now during the night she wakes at about 3 times between, 1-5. It takes me an hour a time to get her back. She is still in a cot but she got out of it last night and am hoping the move to a bed will help but I can't see it. Have tried co-sleeping but she thinks it is just one oh game. Last might she bounced on my head at 430 whilst i cried with exhaustion. Tried ncss but I can't leave the room for even a second. Dd1 was the same but grew out of it by 4. Any tips? She is 2.5

twofalls Sun 30-Sep-12 02:27:40

Sorry for typos. Can't do any crying techniques as dd1 wakes up and is such a drama queen I can't cope with her too. Dh has a chronic pain condition so no help during the night. Am feeling sorry for myself because I have had very few whole nights sleep in past 6 years.

HeffalumpsAndGoldenWoozles Sun 30-Sep-12 02:39:06

No advice as such but didn't want to leave you unanswered. My DD1 is 2 and luckily good at night so far, however DD2 born yesterday has not yet stopped feeding so although I don't know what to say to help I can offer my company at this ridiculous time of night!

Hopefully someone will be along soon with actual advice smile Hope you manage to get some sleep soon.

GracieGirl Sun 30-Sep-12 02:57:16

I have no advice either, my brain doesn't work at this hour! I'm up with both my DC. First feeding 6 month old teething DS then 2.5yr old DD who within the last 2 hours has lost her sleepy toy ( found under bed), wanted a wee, a drink & a magnet off the fridge downstairs. It will soon be time to feed DS again!

I think we're both stuck in the trap of pandering to one DC so we don't wake the other up.

My DH works nights so isn't here to help.

I hope you get some sleep!

twofalls Sun 30-Sep-12 05:40:51

Thanks both. It can be avert lonely place in the middle if the night. I hope you both managed to get back to sleep. Pandering is right and I feel so resentful !

Bitofalurkerreally Sun 30-Sep-12 06:18:46

My sympathies, my 2.9 year DS has probably slept through only 6 nights in the last two months. We have tried so many different things, different lighting, different bedding, slight changes to bedtime routine etc ended up co-sleeping ( well he slept), in defeat as he wakes his older sisiter.

He refuses his bed ( although loves to tell everyone about his big boy bed, new bedding etc), screams for up to 1/1.2 hr every night often falling asleep at the door ( he has a stairgate on his room otherwise he's straight in to his sister); this is only after a version of CC / rapid return. Then wakes up middle of night shouting for me for me and our bed or sometimes distressed / night terror.

He's never been a good sleeper and right now he is developing at a rate of knots, dropping his nap ( although I think over-tiredness is playing a part and regularly push/drive him about for a doze), speech leaping foward, talking a lot about potty/ pants ( I am so NOT toilet training now), being frustrated he can't read (ha ha he's 2!)?! It's all going on with him really.

I called in the HV for advice this week, TBH she didn't tell me anything I didn't already know but it was useful to talk it through with someone not so sleep deprived. HV said it's up to you how you handle as a family but really you have to get tough or put up

My DD has been put in our room with Daddy as it's quieter for her ( in secret, as DS must NOT know, and I'm 'sleeping' in her room) and we're doing the tough love route, ( "it;s time for bed" and no eye contact routine) it's night 2, everyone has been woken up at some point and I have been up since 3am, he's not screaming but he's stubbornly refusing sleep and I can't sneak up ito bed without being caught and the shouting starting.

I don't really know what the point of me posting is now ( felt good to get it out though!), I am SO tired, except to say you're not alone and if I find anything that works I'll let you know! He's shouting again...........

twofalls Sun 30-Sep-12 07:44:58

Oh you poor thing. It sounds very much like dd2. And dd1 was worse resulting in me falling down the stairs on boxing day and breaking my leg because I was so sleep deprived. Now it's not the middle of the night, and i can think rapid return did work with dd1. I used to say I had to go and find the fairy sleep spray and I would literally step outside the door and come back with a little spray bottle of lavender water. . I then stayed away for longer until after about 3 weeks she had was sleeping by the time I got back (about 10 mins). She was also obsessed with stories so she would listen to story CDs. Dd2 is a different character so not working with her.

I do feel your pain though. I think the worse thing about it is you an feel do out of control with it because you have thisittle being you livd so much testing you to the limit. Dd2 is also developing quickly and I do know from dd2 it will pass. The reason there is nearly a 4 year age gap is that I couldn't face the thought of being pg and so sleep deprived. But your hv is right I think, you do either have to get tough or put up with it. Good luck!

Bitofalurkerreally Sun 30-Sep-12 20:54:58

Twofalls - thank you!

I ended up giving up my part time job last year because my body just couldn't cope either, two weeks in hospita,l one with tonsilitis and one with viral meningitis! Got some sleep though!

I take my hat off to you as your DH's condition must bring its own stresses too.

Wishing you lots of lovely sleep, good luck too!

GracieGirl Mon 01-Oct-12 02:59:24

How's it going tonight?

Last night for me just got worse & worse. DD finally settled at 5am when she had a loud tantrum & woke DS up. I think she knew she was in trouble then as I didn't hear a peep till 8 am (wow!). Shame DS didn't want to sleep much more, he only slept another 45 mins and decided it was morning! So no sleep for me.

Tonight bedtime ran surprisingly smoothly. I went to bed at 8pm (I need sleep more than I need a tidy house!)

DD has only woken once, and DS has breastfed twice so ok so far. smile

twofalls Mon 01-Oct-12 06:39:08

Thanks lurker smile and sorry to here that Gracie. I have been in bed at 8 on many occasions. I normally figure I'll be up early enough to tidy the house. I had a better night. She woke at 1 and even tho she didn't seem in pain I gave her some cal pol because she had been chewing her fingers all day and she still hasn't got her molars. She slept until 5.30 so not great but better. So maybe that is the problem. Who knows!! Let's all just practice mantra "this too shall pass".

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