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Please help me make a decision!

(16 Posts)
baddyfreckleface Tue 25-Sep-12 07:32:25

Dd is 8 months and sleeps terribly. She does not have a feed anymore at night simply because she doesn't want one.
Currently I feed her around 6.30-7.30 depending on when she seems tired. She usually falls asleep with that. I put her in her cot and she will sleep until around 12am. After that it's waking anything from every 1-2 hours. I cuddle her to sleep which seems to have to involve me standing,rocking her and singing while she nips my neck. It's almost impossible to then put her down once she is asleep. None have worked.

We have tried ... Cosleeping (she still wakes and needs me to do the whole standing, rocking thing), me sleeping next to her cot to settle as soon as she stirs, and sleeping her on a mattress as its easier to put her down without waking her.

Basically she now needs me doing the rocking thing to get her to sleep, and she needs it numerous times a night.

For the last three nights we have tried a shush, pat type thing with me putting her down slightly awake and sitting next to cot singing and patting. She just gets more and more angry though. I can see why. But we have to change this. I am surviving on around three hours sleep.

I just don't think it's going to work me being in the room ad not rocking her etc.

Do I try leaving her for short amounts of time (while I cry outside the door!) or do I keep going with this?

I just can see an end to this and its getting us all down. I also have a 3 year old who has just started nursery and I worry about her being disturbed. My mum has offered to have dd2 tonight so I can get some sleep and I want a plan of action for tomorrow night.

baddyfreckleface Tue 25-Sep-12 07:33:45

cant see an end to it

Forgot to mention she also has a dummy and I don't know how that would work if I wasn't there to put it back in.

hodgiebreeder Tue 25-Sep-12 08:05:27

I had this with my DS..... Back breaking isn't it! He is now 11 months and was a terrible sleeper as I always used to cuddle him to sleep and he came to rely on it. Once he hit 8/9 months sleep went to pot as he was busy crawling and standing in his cot and, like you, I was up multiple times a night pacing the halls with a heavy baby!! I ended up doing 'gradual withdrawal' which I came across on a post called 'what worked for us'. You should be able to find it if you do a search. I was really sceptical as I thought he would just scream all night until I picked him up, but it wasn't half as bad as I feared. There WAS crying but it was of the angry sort rather than the hysterical sort, and because I was in the room I didn't feel I was abandoning him. We started this about 3 weeks ago and now he sends himself to sleep in his cot (eventually!) and then either sleeps through the night (!!!) or wakes once (normally with an easy settle). Naps however..... well that's a different story hmm. Might be worth a go? Hope this helps and you get some sleep soon

baddyfreckleface Tue 25-Sep-12 19:12:51

Thanks hodgie. I have read that thread now and feel it might be the way for us. Unfortunately my mum isn't giving me the night off to have a resolve building nights sleep so am having to go for it tonight despite beig so tired I feel sick.

Dd is now bathed, story read and managed to keep her awake for her feed. I am in a comfy chair by her cot. While she is in her cot, trying to find a way out whilst also trying to dismantle a dummy. Crying on and off but she is mostly playing to be honest.

It's going to be a long night!

hodgiebreeder Tue 25-Sep-12 19:18:28

Good luck. Hang in there! Just try to be consistent and keep your eye on the prize.... A full night's sleep!! I'm right with you.... Pottering around in DS's room studiously ignoring him while he tries to pull his blind off the wall and release himself from his sleeping bag hmm. They do go to sleep eventually I promise!! Longest it ever took my DS was 50 mins and I was honestly expecting hour long marathons! Really hope tonight goes well for you. Let me know how you get on.

baddyfreckleface Tue 25-Sep-12 20:05:14

Hope it didn't take too long for you. I got told off fr getting off the chair, think that's a step too far right now! She went to sleep at 7.20 so took half an hour. Not bad and mostly she was complaining or playing crossly so no guilt trips just yet.

Think the test for me will be the night wakings, when she is shattered and just wants a cuddle back to cosy sleep.

Am off to bed now in preparation for the night to

NicholaGriff Tue 25-Sep-12 20:52:57

Hello. I hope the rest of the night goes well for you. Just a thought, have you tried putting her down to sleep a bit earlier? I read somewhere and it rang true for my DD (now 23 months) that overtiredness can lead ot bad sleeing both going down to sleep ad during the nights.

I also found that taking the dummy away at 7 monhs aso helped to revent the night wakings. If she didn't fall asleep wth it in then she ddn't miss it and didn't wake up for it during the night.

Good luck!

baddyfreckleface Tue 25-Sep-12 23:56:32

Hi Nicola. Yes I found that with dd1 but have tried earlier and later with dd2 and neither seemed to make a difference. Interesting about what you say about dummies. I am torn about what to do about them. Just up now to put hers back in. I might try tomorrow with none and see what happens. She can fall asleep when we are out and about without one. Dd1 found her thumb at 4 months so never had any say with that!

baddyfreckleface Wed 26-Sep-12 05:16:56

Ok so she is up at 5am and i had to get up twice just to pop her dummy in.

She just slept through!! 7pm - 5am! No crying!!!

FunnyBird Wed 26-Sep-12 05:46:55

Well done.
Just to give you further hope, what you describe is how it was with our dd. I had to stop picking her up to comfort her in the night for her to learn to settle herself, which I started at about 8/9 months. It didn't take long until she only woke once a night and not every night. And she sleeps through until 7:30am now, unless ill, and has done since then. She's 2.5 now. I'm awake with her younger brother. Look forward to a good night's sleep. It's coming for you soon. smile

hodgiebreeder Wed 26-Sep-12 06:57:27

Nice one baddy!! So pleased your first night wasn't horrendous. A few more nights like that and you'll feel like a new woman. Well done you grin

baddyfreckleface Wed 26-Sep-12 19:40:19

Thanks Funnybird. 7.30! Feels like a ridiculous lie in! My other dd gets up at 6.30 on the dot usually, and that's with a Gro clock to stop her getting up any earlier!

Well not confident tonight as she had a massive sleep this afternoon. 3-4.45, and I had to keep trying to wake her from that as she wanted to go back to sleep.

Bathed and in bed. No crying yet. Just moaning a bit so far.

Think I will tackle dummy once this is more established.

baddyfreckleface Wed 26-Sep-12 19:46:45

Wow! Asleep already! No crying at all (although of course we may have lots later!).
Only problem is that she looks so sweet having gone to sleep her own way, and I am so pleased with her, that all I want to do is pick her up and cuddle her now!

baddyfreckleface Mon 01-Oct-12 10:57:37

See I was far too smug!

Right I am back again as it has all gone pear shaped and I could do with some advice from someone who has slept recently!

First few nights were good and dd now goes in her cot awake and gets to sleep herself, although she does have her dummy.

I am now back to going in to resettle her every hour from 12am ish until we get up (6ish). It's like torture. I dread night time, especially now it's getting cold to be sat up in the small hours.

I can't decide what to do when she is crying in the night. If I leave her she wakes fully and then I have to spend an hour or so trying to get her back to sleep. Sometimes if I am quick enough and get her dummy back in she will go straight back to sleep. But then wakes again an hour or so later.

I am tempted to take away her dummy but not sure how to do that. Just cold turkey?

Then in the night I am going to have a very cross dd on my hands and of I can't pick her up or give her the dummy I don't know if she will settle at all, ever!

Also my other dd is getting woken up by her. She is just settling into nursery and I don't want her to be tired. Once she is disturbed at night she can be quite hard to resettle too, not to mention noisy. Two tired grumpy kids and a tired grumpy mum are not a good combination!

Rubirosa Mon 01-Oct-12 11:01:32

I would get rid of the dummy and try pick-up/put-down.

Whathashappenedtomyboobs Mon 01-Oct-12 22:07:24

I totally feel your pain and it is bloody pain. My DS was exactly the same, awful sleeper. I spent my days,nights , months exhausted, tried everything .....nothing worked! Like you I was rocking co sleeping etc etc.

Then he turned 17 months (yeah sorry 17 months) he started sleeping through 7pm till 6am.

Everyone kept asking me what I did differently, why is he now suddenly sleeping through....? my answer is always "I DID NOTHING DIFFERENT".

Your baby will sleep through when she is ready x

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