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CIO - help with soothing/dummy issues!

(4 Posts)
SarryB Mon 24-Sep-12 12:35:30

Ok, I know not everyone agrees with CIO but, we've doing it for the past week or so, and it's been going well. LO is 5 months old. Except, we seem to have got stuck.

The first couple of nights, we did the 3\5\10 minute checks, at each check the dummy was put back in, and I'd sing a little lullaby. Didn't take LO long to realise that we weren't going to pick him up, and now will drop off a lot easier.

However - I will lay him down, give him his dummy and teddy, sing the lullaby then leave. Then, he'll spit his dummy out, cry (for 10 minutes at today's lunchtime nap!) until I go back in and replace the dummy. And then go to sleep straight away. It seems that he will just cry until I put the dummy back in. It's like he has learnt that he now cries for a bit, dummy gets replaced, and then he falls asleep. Not really self-soothing is it? Do you think I should go cold-turkey on the dummy?

Also, when I go back into to soothe, should I wait till he's actually quiet before leaving, or do I limit it to a couple of minutes, and then leave again, regardless or not of whether he's still crying?

And (so many bloody questions!!), do I still do a dreamfeed? I know he is more than capable of going 12 hours at night (he's done it many times when he was between 3-4 months), and he also has stopped taking much at the 11pm dreamfeed (I'm talking about 3 minutes BF, if that!), and although he does wake in the night, he's happy not to eat until 6.30am.

I'd be very grateful for any advice.

tootiredtothinkofanickname Mon 24-Sep-12 14:51:00

It seems like you are doing CC, and not CIO... anyway, not what you'll want to hear, I'm sure, but it's not recommended before at least 6 months. As I am against leaving babies to cry, and I haven't done it with DS, I can't comment on the dummy issue, also I haven't dreamfed, but just to say that if he was able to go through the night at 4 months, it doesn't mean he can do it at 5. They go through so many growth spurts and their needs change all the time.

roz1982 Mon 24-Sep-12 17:55:05


The thing about doing CC with a dummy is, your LO is using the dummy to self soothe...ive been there before with the whole dummy/cc thing and it never really worked until he could put his own dummy back in. Incidentally, this also councided with him rolling onto stomach to sleep so he could find it easier. We started off leaving him for 2,5,7,10 mins but never longer...and generallynit was always that he wanted dummy back. I agree with tootired, 5 months is a bit young to expect self soothing...but i also dont think theres anything wrong with leaving LO to cry for a bit. The dummy is a blessing and a curse i have found!! There are no real solid answers to your q's i dont think...Just trial and error!

SarryB Mon 24-Sep-12 20:41:01

I know that 5 months is a little early, but I'm suffering with quite bad PND as well as having the odd psychotic episode (you should see my medicine cabinet, it's like a sweet shop). So sleep, plus extended times of just being by myself is really needed. Co-sleeping doesn't work for us as some of the medication really knocks me out, so we can only co-sleep in the early hours once the effect has worn off a bit.

I wouldn't leave him any longer than 10 minutes, in fact I find it hard to leave him that long, even if he's not actually crying, just fussing. I think I may have slightly fixed the dummy problem. I was looking online and found these 'PaciPalz' where the dummy is attach to a toy. I've sewn his dummy onto his bunny teddy which he's been sleeping with since birth, and likes to clutch as he falls asleep. It seems to have worked so far.

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