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Baby will only sleep if I hold her- going mad

(28 Posts)
raininginbaltimore Fri 21-Sep-12 14:03:54

Dd is 7 weeks old. She will only sleep in day if I hold her, or she is in the sling. If I put her down, even once asleep she wakes and screams.

Same for evening, although she will sleep in cot from 10pm feed until 4am (obviously feeding in between!)

I have a 3 yr old ds as well, so it isn't practical. I can't wear sling all the time, I can't shower with it on, or cook. And to be honest wearing her 12+ hours a day makes me claustrophobic.

She will go in pushchair if she is already asleep and I stay outside and moving. Can't do that for 2 hours with ds.


belindarose Fri 21-Sep-12 14:27:53

DS is 11 weeks and similar, although currently sleeps longer at night which is amazing. I also have a 3yo DD.

DS hates the car and will just scream constantly, likewise the pram. He does like the sling and sleeps in it well sometimes, but not always. I've found that sometimes he just doesn't want to sleep and is best put in his bouncy chair and left for a minute or so. Then he either cheers up and begins to play, or I know I have to carry on trying.

DD and I discovered this morning that dancing and singing to loud music with him in the sling stopped him screaming and he eventually relaxed enough to sleep.

He's now asleep after a feed when I managed to get dd to play alone for a while. He relaxed and slept on me and I was able to transfer him to the bed on a blanket. Sometimes this doesn't work and he wakes immediately. If I've used white noise (app on phone), I leave it on next to him.

Basically, in our case, it seems to be different things that work at different times. When dd was a baby I could reliably put her in the car and drive if I was desperate for her to sleep.

Hope you find something that works. I am finding, on a good day, that the less I worry about it, the better it is.

raininginbaltimore Fri 21-Sep-12 15:06:49

Hey, I've name changed a few times, but I was your text buddy for dd on another forum!

ds was quite high needs, but at least one he was asleep in pushchair he'd stay asleep!

belindarose Fri 21-Sep-12 15:09:37

Oh yes, I remembering you saying before! Well, DS's blanket sleep didn't last long and I'm feeding again. DD has a bit of a strop as we were playing together, but thank heavens for YouTube!

raininginbaltimore Fri 21-Sep-12 17:39:58

We've watched a lot of YouTube. And cbeebies. Poor ds

Iggly Fri 21-Sep-12 20:46:14

I feel your pain - dd was the same. However, in a few weeks it will get easier. I had to wear dd in a sling until 12 weeks then she was happier being put down and sleeping in the pushchair (she had reflux and didn't like lying flat on her back)

raininginbaltimore Fri 21-Sep-12 21:20:20

She likes sleeping on her front, but I can't as the SIDs risk scares me too much.

I'll hold on. And keep repeating "It will get better"

RandomMess Fri 21-Sep-12 21:24:14

It's worth going to visit a cranial osteopath, I know a few people for whom it's beeen a miracle cure!

Cartoonjane Fri 21-Sep-12 21:25:41

My DD was like that. She never ever slept in a cot during the day but when she was a bit bigger she did sleep in her pushchair even in the house. I was quite firm in the evenings from a few months old and she slept on the bed- we co slept because even the night was tricky in her cot. I hadn't planned it but it was just easier that way. It is tricky and I didn't have another one to look after. The only thing I found that helped was to get out as much as possible.

Iggly Fri 21-Sep-12 21:31:25

My dd was the same. In the end I put her on her tummy once she could roll both ways. About 4/5 months?

Mitsouko Fri 21-Sep-12 22:01:56

My DD was the same as well, 7 weeks was so hard. She had colic and reflux and would only sleep in sling or on chest or in or night. DH and I had to take turns holding her through the night. Daytimes were terribly hard as I had no help or family.

We had a big improvement around 12 weeks when she finally started settling in her pram and going into her bedside crib for an hour or two. She is 6 months now and naps well in her pushchair, sling or on the bed. Hates cot though so we co sleep much of the night.

HalleLouja Sun 23-Sep-12 10:11:35

I used a sling and let my DD sleep on her front [runs and hides]. Before you ask I looked into the SIDS risk but it meant we all were more rested. She still sleeps on her front aged 15 months. Also there are lots of factors on the SIDS risks not just front sleeping.

fatfingers Sun 23-Sep-12 10:17:13

I let dd sleep on her front too. She is 5 now and still sleeps on her front! Don't think any of us would have got a wink of sleep if I hadn't. I had one of those monitors that you put under them with an alarm that goes off if they stop breathing.

She also had reflux, which is why I think she liked sleeping on her front, so I tilted the cot and she had meds from the doctor to ease it.

raininginbaltimore Sun 23-Sep-12 10:24:39

We have a referral for possible reflux. I have an angelcare monitor, but it won't stop SIDs, as it is so sudden. I did have her on her front until monitor went off because she stopped breathing. I realise risk is small, however if she was that 1% I would never forgive myself. At 7 weeks she is at the peak age for SIDs (60-72 days) and she is ff which is an additional risk factor.

The sling just makes me feel claustrophobic as I end up wearing it all day. Ah well, it will get better. I hope!

RandomMess Sun 23-Sep-12 13:51:19

Silent reflux is hell on earth, been there and have the t-shirt!

have they not tried her on infant gaviscon in the meantime...

LeChatRouge Sun 23-Sep-12 14:08:29

You mention she likes the movement in the pushchair, albeit outside, can you still get those battery powered chairs that rock?

Something like [[

LeChatRouge Sun 23-Sep-12 14:08:57


raininginbaltimore Sun 23-Sep-12 15:01:12

We have a swing, which she hates. She doesn't like car/car seat. I need something that keeps the pushchair moving!

She was on infant gaviscon, made very little difference,but did constipate her.

Flisspaps Sun 23-Sep-12 15:02:09

White noise app saved my sanity with DS

RandomMess Sun 23-Sep-12 15:47:55


It takes a while for the gaviscon to work but she may need something stronger.

You can get a pram rocking device - no idea of the name.

DD liked being held facing outward with my arm across her tummy, I think the pressure helped.

I really feel for you it's just not at all pleasurable having an exhausted baby who can't sleep.

raininginbaltimore Sun 23-Sep-12 15:53:34

Yeah, ds had reflux and had ranitidine and domperidone. She was on gaviscon for over 2 weeks.

RokerFace Sun 23-Sep-12 16:18:53

We used to put a hot water bottle on the bed to warm it up then when DS went to sleep we me holding him, we took the hottie away and lay him down where it had been (sort of tricking him that he was being held by a nice, warm mummy I suppose??).

Don't get me started on the reflux, nothing seemed to help DS...

Hope something falls into place for you soon

mumsrthebest Mon 24-Sep-12 03:30:04

The same thing happened with my dear daughter and I worried that I would have to hold her forever. After about 10 - 12 weeks it stopped. At the moment they want the extra security as everything is new to them and your warmth makes them feel very safe. Try the hot water bottle as rokerface suggested it worked a treat with my DD. Swaddle wraps are good too. I promise though in time as if by magic it will fall into place and you will look back and think of it as just a phase. Xx

GlibGlobGloo Mon 24-Sep-12 03:33:32

Are you swaddling her?
A small beanbag-type thing (microwave lavender bag toy thing) can be useful to pop on tummy and weight her down a bit, making her feel enclosed.

Iggly Mon 24-Sep-12 06:41:51

If there's reflux in the family it's also worth considering whether she's intolerant to cows milk formula. Try s comfort milk or ask the GP for hydrolysed stuff. Might negate the need for medication.

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