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How to put toddler down awake at bedtime?

(12 Posts)
shepster Sat 01-Sep-12 21:47:13

Alright, this is going to sound silly, but I want to begin putting my 19 month old DS in his cot while still awake (something I've yet to achieve, alas) and need advice on:
a) how to do it gently
b) how to do it using a duvet/blanket

As it's summer still (for a little bit longer), I think I can get away with him falling asleep without any covers on, but if I wait any longer, he will surely need a blanket/duvet to keep him warm, and, so far, I find I can only put a blanket on him when he's asleep.

I think I might try letting him get dozy in my arms, then putting him in the cot. Not sure if I should talk him through the process a little (my inclination), e.g. time to sleep in your bed, mummy is right here with you, or say as little as possible.

Any experiences to share would be most appreciated!

Shepster

RandomMess Sat 01-Sep-12 21:48:19

How does he go to sleep at the moment?

NickNacks Sat 01-Sep-12 21:49:26

A sleeping bag?

shepster Sun 02-Sep-12 12:52:10

Hi RandomMess, at the moment, he currently falls asleep in my arms while nursing. Often he gets very wriggly and then I usually put him with his back leaning on me (on my lap) and just hold him until he drops off. I then lay him in his cot and put his covers on him. No chance he will go into a sleeping bag again.

I guess I will wing it and see how it goes, making adjustments as necessary. As with most parenting issues- wing it! Wish me luck.

Marking my place, in a similar position.

Rubirosa Sun 02-Sep-12 13:01:06

I would do this:

Feed him first, then read a bedtime story so there is a break between feeding and sleeping
Put him in a sleeping bag so you don't need to worry about blankets
Lie him down in his cot and talk/sing/rub his back/hold his hand etc
If he stands up, gently lay him back down
Only pick him up if he is really upset, comfort him but lay him down again the moment he calms - don't let him fall asleep in your arms

The first night will take a long time, but you need to be really calm and consistent for it to work.

AnitaBlake Sun 02-Sep-12 13:04:46

Do you want to make him self-settle, or have you been told to? See, I thought DD wouldn't settle and in fact mostly fed to sleep even at 19m. Now, literally all of a sudden, she has a story, nurses briefly, has a drink of juice, and then cudddles me in. After a couple of minutes, she says 'bed' and climbs into bed herself. I give her a kiss and tuck her in, then leave the room and she goes to sleep.

I know it sounds like I'm showing off, but my point us, I never tried to make her do it. She just did. She's 21m, and she's been self-settling about three weeks now. She does it for naps too, asks for a blanket and falls asleep on the couch. I honestly believe they just do these things when they are ready, and we give ourselves more stress than enough trying to male them do things they aren't ready to do just yet smile

valiumredhead Sun 02-Sep-12 19:33:56

Why do you need to change the routine if you still intend to BF?

shepster Sun 23-Sep-12 12:08:37

Thanks all. I didn't read these latest posts until just now, as I didn't think I'd had any responses. Sorry!

Valiumredhead, yours is a good question. The reason for the need to self-settle is my boy is still waking in the night. Never has slept through. Recently made it to the occasional sleeping through until 4am, but that's all. Usually one or two wake ups a night, sometimes going down quickly (after 15 minutes), sometimes taking an hour or two. This week has been horrendous (after I thought things were improving), and I feel I must do something to help him sleep without waking. He is a pretty happy chappy, but this can't be good for him or me.

So, I thought putting him down awake might help. Yes, AnitaBlake, I'm all for letting these things happen on their own. If I can hold out a bit longer, maybe that will happen. In lieu of putting DS down awake, I have done the pick up put down method (which improved his sleep some about 6 months ago, to the point where we are now) again, but it seems not to be working. Seems he just ends up completely hysterical and then completely awake.

Oh, not sure what to do. If I don't do anything, am I keeping him in his routine of nightly wakings? Hmmm. Need some more sleep to think this one through clearly.

Thanks for your thoughts and replies. If anyone has done PUPD on a 20 month old (now) with any success or failure, would be good to hear about that too.

TTFN!

Shepster

UterusUterusGhali Thu 27-Sep-12 20:23:36

Bumping. Same problem with a 2.5yo
sob

Iloverobinhood Fri 28-Sep-12 08:29:30

We had this problem when my dd was 20 months. She used to fall asleep with a bottle and this was increasingly taking hours or not really working so we needed to change. I was recommended to do this by a friend.

Normal bed time routine, stories etc. tuck dd I to bed. Say night night, mummy is going now see you in the morning. If you are lovely and quiet in bed I'll come and check you in a few minutes. The first night she went nuts and I had to stand at the door saying. 'Don't forget I'm only coming if you're lovely and quiet' she did try really hard so as soon as she'd been quiet for a minute I went back in gave her a cuddle and repeated. Leaving the amount of time a bit longer between checking her once shed been quiet. She eventually fell asleep.

By night 4, I was able to,put her to bed and she didn't grumble . We still check her after a few minutes of being quiet even now and she seems to like this.

I would really recommend this approach and I know others who have tried it too. Hope I have explained it okay.

Now if anyone has any advice for. 9 month wide awake from 4-5 ?? Xx

BertieBotts Fri 28-Sep-12 08:45:21

19 months old is still pretty young for sleeping through, it must be hard on you if he's in a cot though!

Have you tried The No Cry Sleep Solution at all? Lots of helpful ideas in there.

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