Did anyone put a young baby in their own room?(114 Posts)
DD is 6 weeks old and we're wondering about moving her into her own room in the next few weeks. Partly this is because she will soon be too big for her moses basket, as she's a long baby, and we can't fit the cot into our room. But it is also partly because she is so incredibly noisy! DP and I are struggling to get decent sleep even though DD is (blissfully) at the moment sleeping from 8pm-3.30am. She's not too noisy when we go to bed, but after her 3.30 feed she snorts and grunts and does this really odd stretching manouevre complete with enormous groans, even though she is asleep - which keeps us awake! We've tried all different ways and times to settle her after this feed but nothing has altered the noises, its obviously just something she does. Also, DP and I go to bed and wake up at different times most nights so I wonder if we are disturbing her.
Anyway, because we don't have a spare room, or room for a spare bed in the nursery, I'm starting to wonder about moving her into her own room. The doors with be open so we will hear her when she gets unsettled (as opposed to just snorting!). Has anyone else moved their LO over at 8-10 weeks-ish?
Our girlie went in her own room the day we moved into our new house- she was 6 weeks. We all slept better because of it, and didn't need a monitor as I have psychic mummy hearing that jolted me awake if she was waking up anyway! Try and see, if it doesn't work then bring her back into your room, no harm done.
Ds slept in his own room from 3weeks (although I slept in there on a camp bed until he was 8weeks). The research that the SIDS are basing there guideline on isn't particularly strong and the research looks more at cosleeping than room sharing. Each to there own really. Remeber the SIDS advice is just a guideline - something magical doesn't happen on the day babies turn 6months that means they can sleep in their own room. People just have to use common sense. (I think in Australia the advice is 6weeks - according to
my friend who is in melbourne) x
somewhere, I think it is all about weighing up risks and making the right decision for your family. I'm the same, I think if there had been room for a spare bed somewhere then we would have gone down that route.
DD is now in her own room and actually sleeping longer, as the 3am 'whinge' that we used to react to at once has turned out just to be exactly an asleep 'whinge', and she actually sleeps through until 5.30. We all feel so much better. Having said that, we're still being sensible and any night she has seemed a little poorly i.e. after her jabs, we have had her back in with us.
PS Just wanted to add that if we had the space I would consider putting a bed in DS's room so that we could take turns sharing with him while the other got a decent night's sleep back in our bedroom, but we don't.
DS (now 16 weeks) slept in his own room almost from the beginning. I have serious issues with insomnia and anxiety regarding sleep blah blah and couldn't sleep at all with him in the room, so we weighed the very small increased risk of SIDS against the risk of me just not coping and failing him in much more serious ways (have history of depression). I do feel guilty, even though he is low risk in every other way, but none of us is perfect and we're doing our best.
Oh and they go to bed in their room at 7pm so are alone for a few hours first. Daytime naps are either in pram or travelcot, but I am not usually in the same room (showers/toilet breaks/cooking etc whil they nap)
Just out of interest, does anyone know if there is any impact if the baby is sharing a room with another child (in my case, twins, who have been in their own room since 6 weeks, with me or nanny in there most nights but not always)
mine went into their own rooms on around days 3/4 (whenever i came out of hospital).
I have read the SIDS advice, Chipping, DD is on her back to sleep, feet to foot, with a dummy if she wants it, in a non smoking house and in her own bed (has never been brought into bed with us). She was not premature, nor was she a low birthweight, all of which are 'risk' factors.
Sleeping in the same room as the parents for the first six months is one of the many things listed. As it is, DD is exceptionally low risk. The advice says baby should have all of it's sleeps in a room with you, but she naps in various places (cot, pram, bouncer chair) while I potter, so she isn't in a room with me for all her sleeps. Also, she is now going through the night, so no milk required overnight.
MadameChinLegs - what do you mean by 'she's ready to go'? She's 12 weeks (not months? - just checking). If she's 12 weeks, have you read the info regarding the greater risk of SIDS if the baby doesn't share you room for the first 6 months? As I said (several times) everyone has the right to make their own decisions, I just worry that so many people don't get told the information about it and are basing their decisions on things that don't actually alter the rate of SIDS - things like 'other people do it'.
Exactly ChippingIn - the other risk factors for SIDS were all small (we don't smoke, he's bf etc.), whereas he would have thrown himself out of the Moses basket in the night, so we did what we had to.
I was all ready to put DD into her own room at birth, but once she arrived, I kept her next to me in her basket. This was purely as I love having her there. She's now in a travel cot in our room as I cant bear to put her in her own room (the ONLY reason is that I feel like I will miss her. She's ready to go).
I have told myself she will be going in a fortnight.
She's 12 weeks.
lucid - no worries, and sorry I snapped - we're all tired! (not surprisingly, given this thread )
We moved our DS into his own room at 12 weeks, he was too big for moses basket, he was a noisy sleeper and I would not dare get up for a wee during the night in case I woke him! We read all the SIDS research and made the decison which was right for us as a family. We did however get a movement sensor for his cot so if anything did happen we could react quickly. We will all make decisions for our babies which not everyone agrees with, you do what is right for you and your own family.
Bella, that's not what I meant. I'm sorry if i upset you. I was trying to explain my thought process in deciding to keep DD in my room. It was a hypothetical you, not a BellaCB you if that makes sense... DD is teething and we've had a few disturbed nights and I'm not making sense the way I would normally expect to....
With DD1 I was a bit afraid of making too much noise while she napped, but all the subsequent DCs just had to get on with it. Worst sleeper was DD3 (4th baby) who never slept really, neither in the day or the night. Once DD1 got started in school and doing various activities and I had DS and DD2, the last two (five DCs in all) really ended up doing a lot of napping in the car and slept in the removable carseat either in the car or parked out of the way downstairs or sitting watching DD1 and DS and DD2 doing skating or gymnastics or whatever else they were doing. Or in the fold-down buggy when we could get somewhere closeby. It enabled me to take the older noes to the park or the pool without disturbing the baby of the time all that much. I think it's really only with DC1 that you are concerned so much about precious sleep. I certainly got on with housework or it would all have come crashing down around my head. In the main (exception = DD3) they slept fine even with all the hubbub going on around them.
BellaCB - I put my DS down for naps in his pram (in the dining room) during the day for the first 3-4 months and didn't sit next to him; in fact I welcomed the opportunity to go collapse on the sofa!
He also slept loads in his pram when we were out and I really don't think he could have heard my breathing unless he's got magic bat hearing. I was generally around so could check on him regularly, but he didn't have me breathing next to him IYSWIM.
Ah, sorry for that post - am tired and snappy, ignore me...
No-one is saying that if your baby dies it is your fault! You asked whether people put their babies in their own rooms, people answered, and the people that didn't put their babies in their own rooms gave the reasons why.
With dd1 she napped in the pram, which I wheeled inside or in a moses basket in the lounge, dd2 napped in the carrybag bit of the phil and teds asdid ds, and we made up a bed for him in the lounge, when he got too big for that, which we still use (he has had a few incidents where he has started choking on pooled saliva, so it is a good idea to keep him close by). I don't think the idea is that you are in the room constantly, just going about your stuff. I suppose with dd1 and 2 I didn't really think about it, it was just what we did, with ds it is a bit different.
BellaCB DS1 was in his own at about 3/4 months. Yes, I knew about the SIDS risks but like you and many others, it was the decision I made.
I entirely see what you mean when you feel like people are virtually saying "well, if your baby dies it will be your fault".
Do what you feel is right for you. Having your LO sleeping in her room is not neglect.
I can say I didnt. Both always went upstairs be the only time I could have a cup of tea or prepare tea etc and with dd2 it was time I could spend with dd1 on her own i wanted them to sleep properly and not get disturbed by me tripping over a toy or the phone ringing etc and a baby that doesn't sleep properly doesn't eat properly or even grow and develope properly. Sleep is as vital to their well being as food and wAter etc some sleep thru anything others are more easily disturbed again it all comes down to your baby and what works for you
My DCs all slept near me during the day. I had a folding-back buggy that was as big as a large moses basket when folded back. It was handy because I could take them out for a walk and then never disturb them getting back into the house, or take them out when they wee already asleep (even carried it up stairs when I lived in a second floor flat). Or I could rock them gently if they were startled while napping.
I agree with Chipping and Hazeyjane here.
I wonder about your second hand crib. Is it one that is still fine to use or has it been recalled for any reason?
Thanks for the kind words, caffeine . I know we all make our own decisions but it is nice to hear that someone else reached a similar decision i.e. being worried about the dangers of being so tired through the day.
I would be really interested to know how many people are in the same room as their baby for all their naps though (and not in a snarky way!). I mean, I currently am during the day as DD will only nap on me, or in her pram, as she fights daytime sleep like a demon. But for babies that do go off much more happily during the day, I wonder how many parents then stay in the same room rather than doing some housework, say, or watching TV?
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