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Anyone had a good sleeper regress? What did you do??

(12 Posts)
Whiteybaby Wed 19-Oct-11 09:32:39

DS is 5 mths and at 12 weeks started sleeping 7 till 6ish. He is ebf and huge. I think we had say 4 weeks of fab sleep and then he regressed completely. I have intermittently gone back to feeding in night (although have stopped that now - am sure he isnt hungry) and he is up every few hours.

He used to thumb suck but wont now. Used to self settle, can't now. We use a dummy to help but he sucks it for a minute tops, and then either pulls it out to wave it around or it drops out, and wails.

We have put him back in a cot in our room when he wakes up but really only sleeps on duvet between DH and I. He is teething but it seems more than just that.

A few folk have suggested leaving him to cry but we have dd who sleeps in the next door room so even if I could its not good for her and we end up with two awake at 1am sad.

Any ideas? Please help am knackered!!!

nearlytherenow Wed 19-Oct-11 11:58:41

We have the same issue with DS2 now, he's 6 months and slept brilliantly from birth - 16 weeks (8-7 from 9-16 weeks!), now he's up loads. He forgot how to self settle about a month ago. I'm doing gradual retreat to re-teach him how to self settle, which has worked really well and there's been minimal crying. But he's still waking just as much in the night. At least it makes it easier to get him down for a daytime nap - I just pop him in the cot now, rather than spending 45 mins or so feeding in a dark room and ignoring DS1!

We also did gradual retreat with DS1 at 6 months and he slept through again once he learned to self settle. It's definitely worth a shot.

Whiteybaby Wed 19-Oct-11 12:51:54

Nearlythere thanks for the reply. I have the same with DD being left while I fight ds for his nap. I usually forget napping in cot and go out in the buggy or have rocked him in the garden in my big old pram. Not ideal now the sun has gone!

Sorry being dim but how does gradual retreat work? Can you talk me through it??

nearlytherenow Wed 19-Oct-11 14:06:11

Yes I can - sorry pushed for time just now as have DS1 and his little friend to look after (DS2 sleeping in cot, yay!) but will come on this evening and talk you through the steps.

redcamels Wed 19-Oct-11 15:01:42

Our DS was an amazing sleeper until 4 months. He's only just coming out of it now and he's almost 6 months.

It was hell on earth and I wanted to scream challenging but your little man WILL come out of it.

Please don't leave him to CIO.

I got through it by using his comforter and endlessly replacing his dummy.

Hang in there.

nearlytherenow Wed 19-Oct-11 20:05:09

Whitey, am back! OK, gradual retreat. We got this programme from a sleep clinic for DS1 (he was that bad). They told us to do each step for 3 nights, each time DS1 woke in the night (that was the hard part), and for naps too. In reality I did it at bedtime, and probably night wakings until about 3 am, and not really for naps. It still worked for DS1, beautifully. He slept through as soon as he started going in his cot awake. For DS2 I have been doing this for bedtime, 1/2 naps a day (the other nap(s) he'll have in the buggy) and after night feeds (so he wakes, I feed him (but not to sleep), then I follow the step that we are at). It has worked in terms of him learning to self settle, but hasn't got him sleeping longer at night (although he is taking much longer naps). We're only 6 days in.

Step 1: Rock, rather than feed, to sleep. Place in cot asleep.
Step 2: Hold (no rocking) to sleep. Place in cot asleep.
Step 3: Place in cot awake, stroke, pat, shush etc until asleep (we use "sleepy words" i.e. "time to sleep, DS2, snuggle down now", repeated over and over...)
Step 3: Place in cot awake, put a hand on your baby until he is asleep (don't stroke).
Step 4: Place in cot awake, sit on a chair next to the cot until asleep.
Step 5: Move chair about a meter away from the cot.
After this you keep moving the chair away, by about a meter each time, until eventually you are at (and then outside) the door.

With each of these steps you are meant to stay in the position you were in when your child fell asleep for 15 minutes, to make sure that they are in a really deep sleep, before you leave the room.

We were also told that it was important to make sure DS1 had had enough daytime sleep, as settling would be much more problematic if he was overtired. So at 6 months the sleep clinic recommended a nap of up to 1 hour in the morning (9/9.30 ish), an up to 2 hour nap after lunch (12.30 / 1ish) and a 30 minute cat nap, if needed, between 4 and 5. Then bedtime was to be 7pm. If following the programme for naps was going to mean no naps / very late naps, then the clinic said that it was better just to let him nap by whatever means necessary until he was in roughly this sort of routine, and getting close to enough daytime sleep.

With DS2 I just went straight to step 3 - i.e. in cot awake, as he had been self settling until a few weeks before (unlike DS1 who had never fallen asleep other than by being fed in his life). Obviously the programme assumes that you are currently feeding to sleep. I've also worked through it a little quicker - some parts we've only done for 2 nights / days.

The biggest fuss I have ever experienced with this was with DS1, who screamed for about 1.5 hours the first night we tried to rock, rather than feed, him to sleep. But I managed to bear it because I was cuddling him all of this time. Other than this my DSs have both pretty much taken it in their stride - DS2 has been fairly unphased by it and tonight fell asleep with me just sitting next to the cot without so much as a whimper. I couldn't do cc and would have given up if either of them had become too upset, but really it's been surprising how calm they have stayed, there has usually been a minute or two of objecting then nothing worse than some tossing and turning trying to get to sleep.

redcamels Wed 19-Oct-11 21:56:42

<takes hat off to nearlytherenow>

grin

InvaderZim Wed 19-Oct-11 23:07:12

My good sleeper regressed at 4 months and we did nothing! She never outgrew it either. sad

She's a year now and we're finally nightweaning using Dr Jay Gordon's method - a gradual retreat thingy as outlined above, but for nightwakings only. (We cosleep). I'll tackle the feeding to sleep issue once we've got a handle on nightweaning!

Whiteybaby Thu 20-Oct-11 20:23:55

Thanks so much. I've not had chance to get online sooner so sorry for slow response. He has actually seemed much brighter today and gone to asleep by himself having been put down wide awake. He was fast asleep on the boob but dd roaring around with daddy after bath ended that!

I'm going to give it a go and let you know!

narmada Thu 20-Oct-11 23:16:48

Another one here. DS slept through from 4 months to 8 months, every night, even when he had severe tonsillitis. At 9 months, he stopped, and has never done it since (now 12 mos). Last night he was up every hour.

I haven't really done anything about it so no great advice to offer unfortunately, but just to extend the hand of sympathy!

Ds now co-sleeps with us - that started at about 11 months when I could take no more of getting up to his cot in the middle of the night again. and again. and again.

My basic policy is to take the path of least resistance. When we've moved house I may consider controlled crying as I would like my sleep back.

nearlytherenow Fri 21-Oct-11 21:06:42

Good luck Whitey - do let me know how you get on. Will be interested to know whether DS2 is unique in not responding to this by sleeping longer stretches at night!!

Whiteybaby Sun 23-Oct-11 11:24:17

Hi,*nearly*. Well fri night slightly better in that he woke at four am but went back to sleep in his cot with me shushing and applying the dummy. He got up at 5.30 but DH got up with him.

Last Night he slept all through and woke up again just after half five but was content to chat for a bit in his cot! Such a lovely way to wake up rather than fraught tired baby! Main changes here are a dream feed at 10 (which we have tried before but to no success) and also I have been giving him some puree at lunchtime on hv advice. I think he has been hungry and that has been waking him up.

Day naps another matter but I am going to tackle that problem this week! Bring it on!! smile

WB x

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