Help! Just help!

[PinkSchmoo]

DS is 5.5m and I'm just so tired.

During the day he either is fed or patted to sleep and naps are inconsistent and just too short to give him proper rest. Bf during the day.

At night he has a bottle and quick pat then over and usually over until 4ish. Then up and down until 7 odd.

I know lots of people have it worse but I'm exhausted.

Do you think a dream feed would help push him through so that his long sleep is from 11/12 to 7?

Tips on sleep training too. What type of method and how long before I see a result?

Btw he has reflux and never falls asleep on his own. I am nit hugely consistent with nap times and because of dd he often has to go with the flow which means hours of grouching before he falls asleep at an inopportune moment.

There are just so many things that are wrong I don't know how to start and I'm back to work in 2 weeks. Crying now.

[SHRIIIEEEKPoolingBearBlood]

Not sure what you mean - does he sleep fromhis bedtime until 4?
Do you have to return to work - sounds very stressful
Do you have a dh/dp?

[SHRIIIEEEKPoolingBearBlood]

have you started weaning? I AM NO EXPERT but feel that weaning can really help a baby with reflux (I think early weaning is advised for it but I am not advising early weaning!) - and so that can't be far off for your DS

[SHRIIIEEEKPoolingBearBlood]

Sorry that made no sense - I have heard from friends etc that early weaning has been diagnosed for babies who have reflux, and that it has led to much more settled babies. Assuming you haven't, well ypou'll be weaning soon anyway, so may notice an improvement

[40notTrendy]

Oh dear. Sounds a lot like my ds at that age. He was weaned about then too. I had days when I cried through lack of sleep. Im not sure of best advice but do what works for you, I'm sure that just like my ds, he will sleep longer soon.

[PinkSchmoo]

Just lost a long post. Feeling so worn down today and ready to meltdown at any mo.

Return to work at the beginning of November. I have a dh and a 2.6yo dd who is not too fond of sleep. Dh does a lot of nights with dd and is not unsupportive but as I think is often the case he doesn't really like change and so I'm left to get on with it.

I have two issues. Ds doesn't go to sleep on his own so I am
spending hours a day patting him to sleep on my shoulder or
feeding him to sleep. I need to start sleep training as I just don't have the time or mental energy anymore and I've no idea where to start.

The other thing is trying to get ds night waking to come later - he goes down about 7, won't go later, dd is down about 8 but not over until 9. She then is unsettled usually around 1-3 and he's up at 4. I think a dream feed might help but again have no idea where to start. He gets ff at 7 now so do I bf then and move the ff or do I bf at 10/11?

I know people have a lot worse problems with sleep but often I'm really up from 4 having had a broken night up to then.

I've not always been hugely consistent with daily nap times, do I need to change that?

I'm just paralysed with indecision.

[SHRIIIEEEKPoolingBearBlood]

Can you co sleep wiht one or both until you're on a more even keel? maybe a few months of DH sleeping with your DD while you sleep with DS? Everything seems brighter when you've had a couple of nights of less broken sleep!

[Caz10]

Hi OP! I have to be honest and say bedtime to 4am is pretty darn good at that age! Your daytime sounds more tiring than the night! Have you seen this thread further down? Some support/advice re babies of a similar age

[childsleepsolutions]

Hi there, you poor thing, you sound exhausted! Sleep deprivation is not used as a form of torture for nothing.

It sounds like you need to teach him how to self-settle and also feed him up in the day. It's hard when you have an older one but try to make sure all his daytime feeds are really good feeds.

The dreamfeed involves going in to his room at some point between 10&11 and feeding him, some babies wake up and feed, others stay fast asleep and still have a good feed. I would definitely try this in your position, give it 3 days to see if it has an impact on his 4am waking.

I am a child sleep consultant and have had many many clients in the same position and in tears, you really are not alone. All sleep issues can be resolved. To teach him how to settle himself can you try comforting him in his cot and only picking him up when really necessary?

Once yr ds is sorted you can tackle your dd sleep issues and focus on enjoying your time with them. I know this can seem impossible when you feel exhausted and overwhelmed but just try and tackle one thing at a time and you will get there. Nicola

[PinkSchmoo]

2 days into dream feed and no change there but bit of a stunning development on self soothing. Decided to try to break feed/sleep association and start pat-shh in cot. Went over 3 times in the day without too much trouble, 10-15 mins.

Then last night I was doing pat-shh at 7ish and he was simply chatting to me. Decided to leave him to it and for the first time EVER he self-soothed to sleep. Same scenario after 4am waking. Feels pretty good and gives me hope that I can escape the endless shoulder patting with some time, patience and consistency.

Thanks for responses.

[childsleepsolutions]

Fantastic news! Well done.