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My baby just wont sleep through. He is 1. I am exhausted. Help!

(28 Posts)
beakinthebeeswax Sat 08-Oct-11 08:56:41

We have this routine.
6.30pm supper
7.00pm bath
7.30pm teeth brushed and bed.
We do this each night. He goes off to sleep nicely, then around midnight he starts. He wakes up and whinges and chatters. I go into his room (I dont take him out of cot) to reassure him. He goes back to sleep. The whole thing is repeated virtually every hour until 7am, which means me and his father (Who works hard as a builder) are worn out.
He is an adorable child, well behaved, happy, eats properly etc. He just cannot settle at night. I have tried allsorts of stuff to remedy this, to no avail.
Does anyone have any tips, or suggestions please?
I would be very grateful for anything you can think of.

DialMforMummy Sat 08-Oct-11 21:14:10

I know I will be flamed for this, but I'd go down the CC route. It's tough but it works. I have done it with my LO and despite getting seriously pissed off with us when we let him cry, he was his happy self the next day.
By keeping going into his room, you sort of encourage the cycle. So I guess, what I'd do would be to go in when he calls then explain to him that he should go to sleep and leave. And then from then on either follow the CC route (going in after 5 min, the 10 etc, there is some guide somewhere on MN) or just ignore him completely (we had to do this with ours because coming in every so often winded him up even more).
The key is consistency and having support from you DH is very important.
If you don't like the idea of CC, I am sure other people will advise other stuff that worked for them.

Matronalia Sat 08-Oct-11 21:30:10

Controlled crying, reduced naps (i.e for DS we took him from 2 X 2 hour naps, to 2X 45mins), more daytime stimulation, small snack before bed, sleeping next toDS on bedroom floor, sleeping with DS in your bed. Pick up and put down technique. Is something changing in his room around that time-is the room cooling down- is he hearing you go to bed. DS was brilliant at waiting until we had been in bed half an hour and then waking up and going to bed at a slightly different time worked occasionally. What happens if you leave him to whinge and chatter? Does he cry or is it worth seeing if he will whinge himself back to sleep rather than going to see to him which could be waking him up further.

We tried all of these. DS woke up 5+ times a night until he was 13 months, he still does occasionally now at 2. The only thing that worked was controlled crying but I loathed it. It worked though but I was absolutely desperate by the time we got to 13months and had given everything else a try.

bozemum Sun 09-Oct-11 07:56:49

How long has it been going on for? Is there any chance it's a phase that you can ride out? Teething? Is he too cold or hot?
And what happens if you leave him does he start screaming?
Its quite surprising he keeps waking when he gets very little attention from you. As in, u don't take him out of cot.
I'd say u have two options if it continues.
Setting up bed in his room and sleeping in with him. Perhaps you'd get more sleep this way.
Leaving him to cry
Obviously these are two extremes depending what your parenting style is.

gapants Sun 09-Oct-11 08:00:33

Yes, could you co-sleep for a while to see if this improves?
Have there been any changes- started nursery, new baby on the way, moved house, anything like that?

I feel your pain, DS used to wake every hour for ages, I was a zombie, he finally did start to sleep through but then would ping awake at 5am. I don't know which was worse!

I read and really liked the Millpond Sleep Clinic Book it has lots of case studies and you can sort of pick through it to try different remedies.

beakinthebeeswax Sun 09-Oct-11 08:13:03

Thankyou so much for replying everyone.

He was up 4 times last night, he just unsettled.
gapants there has been no changes or anything like that. I would love to co sleep but what if he gets worse about sleeping in his cot?

I have tried leaving him to cry for a short while but he just gets all worked up and hot and distressed.

Matronalia he chatters and when he realises no one coming he starts crying.
He may hear us going to bed, but we are very quiet as not to wake him.

Thanks everyone for your understanding. I hope you dont think I am soft or dont know what I am doing.

gapants Sun 09-Oct-11 08:18:55

I think that is a risk you have to consider, he might love co-sleeping and then you have to break that habit, but if you are not ready to CC- which is an extreme (but usually effective) approach and it sounds like you are not- then maybe this is the stop gap to help you get some sleep. I felt like I could not do anything until I got some sleep, then I felt like I had the energy reserves to do a combination of cc/and gradual retreat.

Is he BF at night?

queensusan Sun 09-Oct-11 08:19:40

We have exactly the same thing going on but we have been leaving DD to cry - for up to 2 hours (whinging, not full on distressed crying). That route is not working for us as we have seen no improvement in nearly a month. If she does "sleep through" then she is wide awake and ready for the day at 4.30. No solutions I'm afraid but I feel your pain. At the moment DH is sleeping on the floor with her and my other DD is in bed with me - not sustainable long term. For us this has been going on since we were on holiday mid-August. I'm knackered. Hope someone comes up with some ideas soon...

seeker Sun 09-Oct-11 08:20:40

Just take him into bed with you. Honestly, anything which gets the most sleep for the most people. and the cuddles are lovely!

Hello, DialMforMummy- knew you'd be here!

RickGhastley Sun 09-Oct-11 08:30:49

Another vote for co sleeping - just do whatever you need to do to get yourselves some more sleep!

DS co slept with us for ages and moving him back to his own room was not the big drama we'd expected.

beakinthebeeswax Sun 09-Oct-11 08:33:02

He has a little milk in the night, yes. I may try co sleeping.

Thankyou everyone, I will have to come back later as He is chattering for his weetabix!!

DialMforMummy Sun 09-Oct-11 09:06:26

<waves at Seeker>
I occasionally co-slept with my LO (1yo) and although it's lovely, it is not that great because I got kicked quite a bit so as far as I was concerned, I did not sleep any better! And moreover DS was insisting to fall asleep holding one of my fingers!

BertieBotts Sun 09-Oct-11 09:16:52

He's 1 - if you co-sleep and he has trouble going back into a cot, then just move him to a bed instead. (You can always go for a mattress on the floor at frst if he's likely to fall out) When I did this with DS he started to wake more at first but this only lasted a few weeks, and then he actually started sleeping through of his own accord.

I do think that unless you are willing to leave them to cry it's very much the luck of the draw when they will sleep through, so instead of trying to encourage that it's better to just minimise interruption to your own sleep until they grow out of it.

bozemum Sun 09-Oct-11 17:22:25

Perhaps if you have a mattress for yourself or a makeshift bed next to his cot then he still stays in his cot and doesn't get used to being in bed with you. Then when he wakes you just need to let him now you are there with a little pat. Which is less disruptive than having to get out of bed and walk through to his room.

bozemum Sun 09-Oct-11 17:22:54

Good luck with whatever you decide to do

Iggly Sun 09-Oct-11 17:43:38

Ok first point - his dinner looks too late to me. Make it an hour earlier so he has time to digest it. Could be keeping him up at night.

Second of all what are his day naps like? How much fresh air is he getting?

What happens if you leave him?

BertieBotts Sun 09-Oct-11 21:27:50

Actually that's true about dinner. DS goes to bed at 7 and his dinner can't be much later than 5, maybe 5.15, otherwise he's too tired to eat properly and doesn't eat enough to keep him going until morning. If he's extra hungry he then grazes until bedtime.

RitaMorgan Sun 09-Oct-11 21:34:46

I started a thread last week almost exactly the same as this!

My ds is 14 months and is just the same - goes to bed really well but then wakes 1-4 times a night. Each waking is pretty short (quick cuddle and a sip of water) but still would rather he slept through!

Actually, since I posted that thread his sleep has improved. Last night he slept through 7.30pm-5am, same the night before, night before that he woke once but slept til 7am, night before that he slept 7.30pm-7am shock

It was nothing particular I did, it just suddenly clicked into place. Hope it lasts - 4 or 5 good nights doesn't mean we've cracked it of course.

Things that may or may not have helped - no milk in the night, no dummy, leaving a cup of water in his cot for him, night light, one nap a day.

seasidesister Mon 10-Oct-11 10:00:47

Before you try CC check his mouth, could he be teething? My 14mo was just beginning to sleep over the summer, even slept through a couple of times, but over past 3 weeks has been so unsettled. I was advised to try CC by friends as "it was time" and "I was being too soft continuing to bf him at night". We had a shit week trying it and then a couple of days ago I noticed two massive back teeth are coming through and two more incisors appeared yesterday.

I feel terrible that we were trying cc etc and all that time he was in massive pain.

If there are any signs he has teeth on the way try calpol at bedtime and more if he wakes up with a milk feed.

beakinthebeeswax Mon 10-Oct-11 11:36:06

Thanks Sea I shall inspect later. He acting crazy at mo. He woke 'just' twice last night. I hate people telling me im too soft, too. Of course I am soft , i am very maternal! You were not to know regarding CC.
Hi rita looks like we are in the same tired old boat! Am glad your little one is sleeping better for you, it must be a relief. Sorry if I pinched your thread, I did not know!
Iggly and Bertie I have thought for a while his tea needs to be earlier. I shall try and bring it forward.
thanksto everyone for their suggestions.

coccyx Mon 10-Oct-11 11:38:39

Has he never had to settle himself to sleep?

beakinthebeeswax Mon 10-Oct-11 11:44:21

Coccyx he does, every night. He strokes the palms of his hands gently with his fingers. Getting him to sleep is not the problem, he just wont stay asleep!!

RitaMorgan Mon 10-Oct-11 14:47:20

Yep, my ds has self-settled every night since 9 months but it's staying asleep which is tricky grin

I second the suggestion of teething - ds was really suffering with it a few weeks ago with big back teeth coming through. Now the teething is done for now and his sleep has hugely improved.

beakinthebeeswax Tue 11-Oct-11 08:27:30

Bad night again last night, up 4 times ended up in spare bedroom. Luckily there is a brand new comfy bed in there! I tried to feel in his mouth for evidence of teething but dont think I can feel any.

GHAHSTLYGHOULYpants Tue 11-Oct-11 08:35:13

If you can get a good gander in his mouth again, see if you can see any increased redness or white shining through. if in doubt give calpol!

have you moved his dinner earlier then?

Also what about a bath with a drop of lavender in it and then some baby massage?

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