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4 month old waking every 2 hours at night and not settling for naps - Any suggestions

(16 Posts)
dinksdoes Tue 27-Sep-11 21:33:50

My 16 week old DD has finally dropped off to sleep now but she'l be up in 2 hours from now on until 7am! She will go about 4 hours in the day - I have tride to make her take feeds more often in the day to top her up but she wont have any of it! Then night time comes round and she wants boob every two hours! I am thinking now that she surely cant be hungry and its more of a comfort/settling thing, but Im so exhuasted that its just easier to plug her on rather than try and comfort her back to sleep. She doesnt nap in the day either, I have to walk her around in the pram or rock back and forth - as soon as i stop walking or rocking her little eyes pop open! Really want her to be settled as shes getting very grizzley in the day because of lack of napping. ooh its so tricky! Cant do controlled crying, but I am really needing some ideas HELP

peedieworky Tue 27-Sep-11 22:11:43

Hi - apols for stuttery reply but battery about to conk out so speed typing. I had similar prob and increased day feeds to 3 hourly ( 2 in morning, 2 in afternoon and bedtime) which helped. Also (inadvertently) got DS to drop the feed that increased day feeds hadn't fixed by cuddling and getting him to suck my little finger. Long story short, I'd been having some cocktails with the girls, DH was meant to be giving DS bottle but hadn't prepared it in advance. DS woke and started screaming place down so I was comforting him while DH (finally) prepared bottle..which he then knocked over and spilled.. So while 2nd bottle was being prepared I realised DS has fallen asleep sucking my finger (either that or was tequila fumes). So, next night did the same thing. 3rd night he slept through. He still wakes 2-3 nights out of 7 but generally can be settled without feeding (though feeding would be the quicker option). Now starting using a dummy - have dedicated a thread to this in fact earlier today!

Good luck!

LittleMilla Tue 27-Sep-11 22:21:34

Tank her up in the day (feed every 3 hours at least), but also read about 4 month sleep regression. Very regular at this age - LOADS of developmental stuff that they're trying to muddle over in their little brains. The wya that I made sense of it all was imagining you're SUPER busy at work. Quite hard to switch off at night and if/when you do wake up, you then cannot really drop off again because your mind is racing. Similar deal for your LO at the moment.

I've just gone through this with my DS and it (thankfully) only lasted a couple of weeks. Although it flipping killed me, I rode it out and now we're on the other side at 21 weeks.

I'd let her get trhough this fr sure before trying to quash it. I have since let him whinge more in the night and he's now going back to sleep if/when he wakes. We also started on the baby rice after speaking to HV. But that's not to say that his sleeping better is because of solids. I actually think that it's more about me being more confident about letting him whinge/cry a bit vs. him just not being hungry. And the fact he's over his sleep regression. I have really noticed a massive change the last few weeks. Everything is far more co-ordinated and smooth, he's almost sitting up & crawling. And generally seems a lot more happy in his skin. Less antsy and generally p*ssed off, IYSWIM.

Good luck x

smellsofsick Tue 27-Sep-11 22:33:27

Yep more frequent feeding in the day and introduction of a dummy if you're not against the idea. My dd found her thumb and that really helped.
Everyone says it but it is just a phase, honestly.

dinksdoes Wed 28-Sep-11 21:04:33

Thanks Peediw, Milla and Smellofsick! Im unable to up her feeds, she just wont have it! She really knows her mind and Ive tride to tank her up in the day but she gets upset if I even put her in cradle position to feed! Have thought about a dummy, really want her to find her thumb as not so keen on dummy, but will give it a go - think Im too much of a soft touch, its like you say about being confident about letting them whinge abit, Im so worried about her getting upset of thinking that I dont love her or having attachment issues that Im always questioning what Im doing!
Want to make the most of her being this age but at the same time wishing time away until she sleep better, Im so tired! Its great to have support here, Thank you all again!

redcamels Wed 28-Sep-11 21:12:45

I feel your pain OP, see my thread on similar subject.

I'm about to do a dreamfeed...hopefully that will give me at least three hours sleep before he stirs again grin

dinksdoes Wed 28-Sep-11 21:48:43

How funny Im just about to try a dream feed too, always been worried about waking her agian - what if it takes another hour and a half to settle her back down???!!! Let me know how it went!

redcamels Wed 28-Sep-11 22:21:41

It went well...until I gently laid him back down in his cot, sound asleep...

...and he did a massive shit. angry

Bless him. I changed him in his cot (much to his bemusement) and he nodded off straight away.

It never takes me long to settle him. The key for us is to pop his dummy straight back in his mouth as soon as he finishes the bottle, then let him lie in my arms for ten mins until he's properly asleep again.

smellsofsick Wed 28-Sep-11 23:26:46

Yep a dreamfeed is also worth a try. I'm only going to say this as a suggestion so if you're dead against it, ignore it but have you thought of doing a formula dream feed? Not sure if you mentioned a DP or not (am on phone) but they could do it so you could get a chunk of sleep. Alternatively a bottle of expressed milk could do the same thing if you were against mixed feeding.

It's really hard I know, I remember it all too well.

redcamels Thu 29-Sep-11 06:10:20

Dreamfeed worked...he slept until 6am

My face --> grin

He only wanted his dummy at 3am/5am then went straight back to sleep.

HandMini Thu 29-Sep-11 09:11:51

Gosh, well done. We are going through exactly the same with my DD, 17 weeks, who, up until last week would sleep 7-4, quick feed, then sleep again till 7. Now waking, moaning much more frequently. I'm going to give it a week of tanking up in the day, thanks for that suggestion, then may try the formula dream feed.

pipoca Thu 29-Sep-11 15:55:55

Have a similar issue with bfed 20 week old who used to do 10pm til 3am, quick feed and back to sleep til at least 6am then sleep again til 9am or 10am but then got a cold 2 weeks ago and has descended into almost hourly waking. Fine during the day, goes 4 hrs btw feeds and naps well. I've decided the nights have become a habit so am going to let her moan for a few mins tonight (usually rush in and bf her at first squeak so as not to wake DS who's 3.5) and then try helping her find her thumb, giving her a dummy, a drink of water or perhaps a bit of formula and see if i can break this constant waking. Just before she got the cold she slept 10pm to 8am so it's not like she can't do it.
Also need a better bedtime routine, atm she goes down at 10pm but we're abroad where kids are up later and it's hard to do the whole bath, boob bed by 7pm thing here. DS is usually in the bath at 8-8.30 and bed by 9 but DD feeds at 7ish and 10ish so doesn't really fit. Think I have to crack the nights first tho, no good trying to run before I can walk!

pipoca Thu 29-Sep-11 15:56:56

DD won't entertain the idea of formula, spits it out in disgust and I can't express...never get more than about 2 drops.

Josieannathe2nd Thu 29-Sep-11 19:01:39

I don't have any solutions...but lots of sympathy. My 19WO often wakes every 2 hours untill 4am when he then wakes as 5..6...and we give up on the night at 7! I keep meaning to do something about it (atm I just feed him back to sleep as takes 5-10mins max) but then he'll go and start sleeping 3 hour stretches which feels a lot better so I don't bother...I think even if it is comfort not hunger than it's a nice quick way to comfort them BUT at some stage I think i'll have to try some putting and shushing. In the day I've tried to up his feeds by feeding him the second he wakes from a nap and while he's sleepy he's happy to have an extra feed.

LittleMilla Thu 29-Sep-11 21:09:23

Ignore my earlier DS seems to have gone backwards!

If it's any help, I have started to wean him, which might not be helping hmm. Just so pissed off and confused TBH - pretty darn sure he's not hungry now as he's having food and same amount of milk, but even if I leave him to whinge and he goes back to sleep, he's still doing it night after night.

Naps in the day have gone off the boil big time, so reckon that's not helping. Oh well, good job we're heading off on our first abroad holiday on Sunday. Nothing like some sun and a different time zone to jazz things up. FFS

Gaaaaaaargh. Sorry to hijack OP blush

dinksdoes Mon 03-Oct-11 19:55:45

Thats ok, I tride a dream feed but didnt do anything, she still woke up at 11.30, the 1, then 2.30, 3.45, 4.50, 6 then finally we got up at 7 as she was fully awake by this point! Have been trying to get more feeds in, its helped going to a quiet area,usually our bed and feeding her lying down. really think its comfort feeding. Im unable to give her a bottle, she just wont take it, she clamps her mouth shut, which is quite funny as usually everything goes straight in the mouth! Hopeing that when she starts solids in 8 weeks that maybe we might start tio get some longer stints!

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