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what do you do when morning nap goes wrong?

(30 Posts)
nello Thu 22-Sep-11 10:28:48

My 6MO will sleep for anything between 30mins to 2 hours in her cot for her morning nap. When it is 2 hours, great and the whole day pans out nicely. When it's 30minutes it messes up the whole day. There is no chance of resettling her when she wakes from a nap, have tried this, but the result is that she is knackered again by say 11am, the time for her mid morning feed and falls asleep on my boob briefly and is then in no fit state for her new solid lunch at 12 and exhausted by 1 when she would normally have her second nap. Any experience of this and top tips?

nello Thu 22-Sep-11 10:44:03

...and today was even worse as she decided to get up at 6 rather than 7 so had her first nap at 8am and was awake by 9, knackered by 11. Would you make her wait until 9 for her morning nap even if she wakes early... and still wait until 1 for the afternoon nap...argh, going crazy!

haloflo Thu 22-Sep-11 12:01:53

Morning nap has gone very wrong here too! It was 10 minutes in the car. She fell asleep for 20 on the way home but is still tired. I wouldn't have gone out but had promised a friend. Just seeing if she will go back to sleep but its not looking good. (She normally naps at 9ish, 12ish and 3ish for 45 mins)

Depending on how tired the baby is I either stretch their awake time a little (so if they wake at 6, stretch til half 8) and carry that on through the day so by the time they reach the third nap they are pretty much on schedule or I just go by the babies cues and move naps, food and bedtime forwards or backwards.

There isn't much you can do but I think if you have a good routine your DD will slip back into it tomorrow.

nello Thu 22-Sep-11 12:18:03

Hi Haloflo! We meet on the sleep forum again ha ha! Thanks, yes been trying to stretch her too, it's soo difficult! thanks for your advice ;)

haloflo Thu 22-Sep-11 12:58:48

Hi nello smile I constantly lurk in the sleep forums to see if it will help DD sleep through the night!

It is hard to stretch them, often my DD will be happy but awake if I walk her in the pram very slowly even if tired. Today I think for us the routine has gone, but tomorrow is a new day.

headfairy Thu 22-Sep-11 13:05:50

I would perhaps be a little freer with your routine... if she's tired at 11am and falls asleep during her feed let her sleep and have lunch afterwards? Then with a full tummy she's more likely to have a good nap at say 2pm. I think you need to follow her lead much more.It's hard especially at weaning times because it feels like you're constantly feeding, either milk or solids, so you can't get anything done, but it's a short phase.

MurunBuchstansangur Thu 22-Sep-11 13:10:39

I let the baby find her own routine. She usually goes down about 0930 but today we went to playgroup so she had a little sleep on the way back at 11.

The only thing I won't do is let her sleep after 4.30pm, or she's too late for bed.

haloflo Thu 22-Sep-11 13:35:48

But what if the baby then wakes up at half 2 and refuses to sleep again? If my DD gets out of sync she often is awake all afternoon and a screaming mess come 5.30pm (With short naps and rubbish night time sleep 3 hours awake is pretty much her max). If I then put her down at 5.30 she would sleep for 3 hours thinking its her night time sleep. (She would scream and rub her eyes if you woke her)

Its hard if your baby is a rubbish sleeper, you really want the day to go well so you feel you have a chance of a half decent nights sleep.

headfairy Thu 22-Sep-11 13:40:08

It is really really hard, because babies are really still finding their rhythm at this age. My dd is a terrible sleeper, she didn't sleep through once until she was over a year old, and at 20 months she's still waking at night on three or four nights a week.

That said I'm still a big advocate of letting babies sleep when they're tired and eat when they're hungry. It's much better for them to learn to follow their own cues.

haloflo Thu 22-Sep-11 13:50:37

Sorry I didn't mean to come across so defensive, I am just very tired today. It is such a steep learning curve looking after a baby and like you say they are still finding their rhythm and changing every week.

Everything you read advocates a daytime routine (and self settling) to be the key to a good nights sleep so its hard not to get caught up.

headfairy Thu 22-Sep-11 13:53:23

don't worry, it is such a bloody hard slog.

Chuck the books away! I think they're based on this mythical ideal baby who goes to sleep when put in a cot, wakes up an hour later refreshed to enjoy a lovely breastfeed with no fussing or biting, followed by tucking in to a lovely nutritious meal of finger foods which she takes to with gusto. Plays happily for an hour or so before starting the cycle again.

The reality is babies never really sleep when you want or need them to, they'll grab a nap ten minutes before their bedtime just to drive you insane, they'll have half a milk feed, throw their food on the floor and then wake up for three feeds in the night.

Enjoy the chaos grin

headfairy Thu 22-Sep-11 13:54:05

My 20 month old is still learning to self settle... some babies get it at 3 weeks (apparently hmm) some take longer.

nello Thu 22-Sep-11 17:56:18

Hello again...*haloflo*, think our LO's have a pretty similar rhythm at the moment! Have you tried dropping her last afternoon nap though? Might help a bit, or do you keep it cos she can only take short naps? DD takes a nap about 9-11 and another about 1-3 (2 hours a time...hmm, what a joke!). I do try and be flexible, just have a general idea that she needs a nap in the morning and one early arvo, but her lack of sleeping can really throw everything out of the window and make the day bloody horrific so difficult for both of us. Seems like there isn't an answer, just bear with it and try and go with the flow. Hard when you're knackered from all that feeding in the night!!

haloflo Thu 22-Sep-11 19:44:49

Yeah I have the late afternoon nap to make up for the short naps but was wondering when babies normally drop that nap (maybe when they sleep for 2 hours after lunch?!) Sometimes if I nap with her she naps for longer but sometimes she wakes after half an hour, just as I've drifted off! angry

I hope you have a good night tonight.

elfgypsy Thu 22-Sep-11 20:06:50

what a relief to read I am not alone, dd is 7 months and I have dreaded bedtime today after a horrible few days and nights of massive bedtime and naptime fuss for an hour or more.
Stayed out today until 6pm to avoid late afternoon impossible moody tired baby (she doesn't get grumpy when out of the house really). I spent weeks/months doing the routine spending 1 hr settling her for a 20 min nap 3 times a day and had NO chance of getting out and having a life and then it got better and now its back to that old cycle again PLUS angry screaming for 2-4 hrs on the odd random night and disturbed evenings to boot with her waking hourly but sometimes getting back to sleep, nightmare...hope it gets easier, really soon...

nello Fri 23-Sep-11 06:52:57

Hi haloflo another shitty night here i'm afraid sad how was your night?! Going to attempt playgroup this morning and a long walk before in the hope that she gets a good nap before we get there! I've decided i'm going to get stricter with the night feeds....she can have one at 10.30 ish, but then when she wakes at 2ish it is going to be cuddles only. Let's see how that works hmm. How many times is your LO wanting to feed in the night at thte moment?

haloflo Fri 23-Sep-11 08:09:19

Sorry to hear that nello My LO is feeding 3 times plus in the 12 hours she is in bed - usually about 10, 1 and 4. However this has got more more frequent again in the past week with some dry skin that is bothering her on her chest (at least that's what I think it is) Some days she is hungrier than others and I'm too tired to make her drop a feed. She doesn't feed to sleep though so sometimes is awake for ages before going back to sleep. If I don't feed her she gets upset and is more likely to be awake ages afterwards.

Last night was a funny one though. She did 7.30 -1 which was amazing and only the 4th time she has ever done such a long stretch but then was up at 2.30, 4 until 5.30 then awake for the day at 7.30. She did have a late nap though and you mentioning it made me wonder if that was why she was awake for over an hour at 4. Defiantly go out today, naps were all over yesterday as we were out but it didn't seem to matter and DD was easier to look after with the distractions.

nello Fri 23-Sep-11 13:41:42

Hi haloflo. dd is doing about the same as yours - bedtime at 7.30pm, wakes about 10/10.30pm, again at about 2 and again at about 4. Last night i feel asleep with her in my arms from about 2 until 3.30 and then woke and put her down. She woke at 5.20, i fed her and she wouldn't go back down and eventually agreed to start the day at 6am. grrr. At my baby group all the other mums with 6MO are either sleeping through, or just one regular wake up with quick feed and straight down again at about 2am...makes me feel like such a failure! I too am exhausted but have my mum coming to stay for a few days next week, so wondering if that might be the time to try and refuse her stop the 2am feed...i'll let you know how it goes.

how is your dd doing with solids? everyone keeps promising me that as soon as she's established she'll start sleeping better. the thing is, she is not very interested in them. Am trying not to get stressed about that, as could become another battle, which i really don't fancy.

I reckon you should try and drop the afternoon nap. DD has a morning nap, approx 2 or 2 1/2 hours after she first gets up and then another one about 1ish...if they are short, i take her out in the pushchair and she'll sometimes drop off again, and sometimes if i reeeally want her to sleep i'll take her out for a really long walk, up to an hour and a half as i can normally guarantee her sleeping in the pushchair or sling if she's tired. but i try to have her awake from about 3 onwards even though she is cream crackered by 7. Maybe dropping the nap could help a little bit...perhaps (clutching at straws!!)

fififrog Fri 23-Sep-11 14:53:53

Hi guys, my LO's naps have just totally shifted at 6months, she was having 4 after 90-100 mins awake, now on a good day it's 2, wiith 2.5-3 hours awake in between.

Sometimes morning nap is too short, eg this morning she did 9-9.30. I just went out with her and she had an extra half hour in the pushchair at 11. Then she was well rested for lunch. She only does half an hour in the pushchair these days so if I'm out after lunch and afternoon nap is too short or generally if she's mega fractious come 4.30 I stick her in the sling and go for a walk, she will usually drop off that way but no way would she do another sleep in the cot.

Luckily quantity and duration of naps don't unduly affect her night sleep, but I find life is better when I'm not stressed about the naps - If I find they're stressing me out we just spend more time outdoors. Let's hope it's a dry autumn!!!

fififrog Fri 23-Sep-11 15:01:07

Ps just read more of the thread so things seem to have moved on... halo DD started dropping late afternoon nap just before 5 months in that I was finding it impossible to get her to sleep at home. The previous one didn't get any longer til last week (she was 6months yesterday) when I started getting her into the cot for naps, now it's usually >1hr, if one can say 'usually' after 10 days experience!!

elfgypsy Sun 25-Sep-11 09:26:55

oh this thread is wonderful, so much reflection of what is happening for us, I too have wanted to drop the 2am feed for a while but need some resources to deal with a 2am crying baby, the NCSS book suggests short feeds so that they don't cry so much but get the message gradually and also learn to get themselves to sleep at that time, I have tried this and it is ok but not been consistant so far, need some support before I feel able to risk a full blown screamer at 2am...

elfgypsy Sun 25-Sep-11 09:29:22

oh and daytime naps gone from 1hr to 30 mins, needing to go out quite a lot more or she is a grizzle monster...

haloflo Sun 25-Sep-11 11:22:19

fifi I remember you from the 4mo sleep regression thread don't I? Funny you should say that about dropping a nap as her awake times seem to have changed almost overnight since you said that! Last 2 days she has been awake 2.45 before her morning nap. I say morning but we slept in til 8.15 for 2 days running so its more a late morning nap! Yesterday she did 2 hours, bet we only get half hour today.

Btw my DD is 26 weeks old next week and only just started on solid food.

However overnight she has gone from 3 night feeds to being very whiney (awful word but it describes the noise she makes) every hour/hour and a half. Guess it could be her teeth but no signs other than that. Anyway we've co slept for the last 2 nights as it was the only way to ssh her. I think I might need a massage soon as 3 in a bed is a bit of a squash when the baby gets half a double bed to herself.

elfgypsy Sorry you are having problems too. NCSS seems a good book but in the middle of the night I always think I should stuff my DD as full as possible so she goes longer...never works that way though. Let us know how you get on if you try shortening her feeds. With day time naps, you tried the nap routine, comforter etc that Pantly suggests? If I catch my DD at the right time she goes down with her dummy easily. However mine is younger than yours so there is always time for her to change her habits again.

headfairy Chaos it certainly is!

haloflo Sun 25-Sep-11 12:47:00

She is still asleep after 1 hour 45. This is odd. I just don't know what to do with myself! Maybe I was putting her down too early. Maybe everything is changing!?

We have moved onto the bigger dummy's, not sure if that is what is helping as it doesn't fall out as easily. I just wish it would stay in at night!

nello Mon 26-Sep-11 13:06:44

not sure if we are talking about daytime naps or night time any more confused we have started feeding more milk in the day and have had 2 great nights sleep, one night she slept all the way through from 7 pm to 6am (with dream feed at 10pm) and last night one easy wake with quick feed and straight down at 3.30. might be tempting fate writing this message confused , but thought i'd mention it to you all. I was feeding milk every 4 hours as baby whisperer suggests but have been told she knows nothing about breast feeding so I am now giving every 3 hours plus her solids to eat whatever she fancies. just thought i'd mention it. daytime naps hmm - they still don't work!!

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