She's never been a great sleeper. She didn't sleep through the night until she was over 1, she's 20 months now and though she had been ok for a few months - waking maybe 2 or three times a week which needed me to settle her. But now something's slipped and she wakes every night, and won't settle at all. The only way I can get her to sleep is to get in to bed with her but she thrashes and kicks and I'm not convinced she's getting proper sleep that way. I know I'm certainly not.
My mum has said she thinks I've been spoiling her too much. Ds has always been such a great sleeper that having a bad sleeper like dd is a bit alien to me. I work three days a week too so I've been guilty of taking the easy path, getting in to bed with her and cuddling her back to sleep. But things have got ridiculous now.
Normally dh puts her to bed while I put ds to bed, and she's brilliant with him. She settles instantly. If she wakes in the evening he'll settle her again and again she goes back to sleep straight away. If I go in she gets hysterical if once I've settled her I put her back in her cot awake, so for me to settle her takes at least half an hour.
Last night I was on my own and so I had to leave ds watching cartoons while I tried to put her to bed. She was sleepy and I put her in her cot but the crying started before I'd even put her in. I went back to ds to see if he was ok and left dd for 5 mins. She got utterly worked up so I went back in to settle her until she was calm. I then put her back in her cot awake but sleepy again and again the crying started immediately. Not sleepy whingey crying but "I'm being murdered" crying. I left her for another 5 minutes and when I went back in she was so hysterical she'd been sick. I then cuddled her until she was asleep and then put her to bed.
She slept until 3.30am and woke up. I left her a few mins to see if she'd settle back but the crying got hysterical again so I went in. I didn't speak to her, I gave her back her dummy she'd dropped and patted her on the back and stroked her hair but she got hysterical saying "cuddle mummy, cuddle mummy" so I decided I needed to phase out my withdrawal. I got her out of her cot, as normal and put her on the bed as normal. But instead of cuddling her I lay down next to her with my back to her. She kept asking for milk and crying but it wasn't hysterical. More whingey type crying. After an hour and a half she fell asleep.
Am I right to keep doing that for a bit? No talking, no cuddling, just picking up putting her on the bed and lying down next to her but facing away. I was thinking the next stage would be for me to pick her up and put her on the bed and then just sit on the end. Then hopefully just me being in the room would be enough and so on.
At what point do I move on to the next stage of withdrawal? I've got to do something now, I can't have a two year old that doesn't sleep through. It'll kill me.
Sorry for the essay. Any opinions gratefully received.
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I'm starting a gradual withdrawal from dd... please come and tell me if I'm doing it correctly. Sorry this is a long 'un.
3 replies
headfairy · 19/09/2011 11:16
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