19 week old held to sleep - Pls talk some sense into me(7 Posts)
I think I need someone to talk some sense into me. I'm starting to panic I'm creating a big rod after a conversation with my RL friend.
Bit of background - DD is 19 weeks. As a newborn she always needed to be rocked to sleep. Over time she has generally needed to be held over shoulder after her 6pm bedtime feed (due to reflux issues) and normally she was asleep after 20mins , we would then transfer her to cot and she would then sleep through night until 5/6 (we are very very lucky). She would often stir but was able to resettle self.
Over the last few weeks DD is not falling asleep whilst being held upright so I've tried putting her in cot awake- this results in crying. If I try to settle her in cot with say shusss pat, stroking etc she still gets upset though sometimes falls asleep. However she will generally then wake up every 45-60 mins upset and needing resettling. If I get her back out of cot and cuddle or rock her until she falls asleep she will have a much better night and will not wake up.
Now I'm puzzled, I know my DD hasn't read the books, but everyone keeps telling me I need to put her in cot awake otherwise we will have issues later.
My question is will we ? I was happy with the way I was doing things and like cuddling my little girl to sleep esp as she seems to get so upset if she goes into cot awake.
My RL friend told me yesterday that I HAVE to stop doing this and let DD cry it out so she can self settle. But surely DD can self settle as she sleeps through the night. Also the same said friend who says her LO goes to sleep happily in his cot wakes several times in night crying!
I know we are very lucky with DDs sleeping right NOW but my worry is that are we creating problems for later? Or will DD naturally need less cuddling to sleep when she gets older.
Thanks in advance
Ps sorry for any typos on phone and can't scroll up to check
At this age she doesn't need to 'cry it out'. I am of the opinion that all this rod for your own back stuff is rubbish. Shes still a tiny baby - who sleeps really well!
Everything is a phase I've discovered (not that stops me worrying, but it seems to be true so far with my two!) and I would just keep doing what you are doing, there is plenty of time to sleep train or whatever later.
Slight disclaimer: one child who was a poor settler/ sleeper until 18 months, and still isn't brilliant. One child who - so far - had slept thought from before 8 weeks. Both ebf. Haven't done anything differently.
Enjoy the good sleep and do what works for you, and ignore all 'helpful' advice. You sound like you know your baby really well and you're doing a brilliant job.
Thanks so much theycallmekipper that's just what I needed to hear from an obviously experienced mum
I hate this rod for your own back talk. I made the mistake of reading GF while pg and that coupled with that expression almost made me feel scared to cuddle my own baby. I've been pretty good at dismissing such thoughts but every now and again they creep back in and I worry I'm creating huge problems for myself later.
I will just keep doing what works for now and continue to enjoy the cuddles whilst I still can.
Ah someone beat me too it!
Your DD is teeny and cuddles work for a reason. Enjoy them and throw the books away.
I'm still cuddling DD2 to sleep, and she's 2.4. DD1 was also cuddled to sleep until around the same age, but just started going to bed herself. TBH, it doesn't bother me at all, bedtimes are nice and calm instead of a screaming match, and I get lots of lovely cuddles to boot. Plus the whole getting the two of them to sleep routine takes about 15 minutes, so not exactly a rod for anybody's back there! Hate that phrase too, btw, it's my MIL's mantra!
I agree with the others. Ds was terrible at going to sleep- he fought it all the time and he needed held/cuddled or walked in the buggy. Any crying out just resulted in everyone being wide awake and miserable. He got much better and it took him less and less time to go to sleep- usually 5 minutes after story. Just before he was 3 we told him he was big enough to go to sleep on his own and so he did no bother at all. Depends how much aggravation you want at this stage.
Ignore everyone else in their judgey pants- just do it your own way if it's working. Every week I fretted over something someone else thought I was doing wrong- what a waste of energy that was.
Thanks so so much everyone. I'm feeling much better about my parenting. i agree it doesn't seem a hassle (in fact it's lovely and enjoyable) to cuddle DD to sleep but it is awful for everyone to leave her to get upset. Anyway shes just a teeny tiny baby as you say. It's good to hear that they can learn with time to get to sleep by themselves. I want to ban the expression 'making a rod.' it's horrid.
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