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DS coming into our room at night. DC2 due in 3 weeks. Help!

(3 Posts)
AnotherMuesliPleaseBarman Wed 07-Sep-11 06:53:15

Sitting here in tears as having an 'end of my tether' moment. Sorry for the long post...

DS (2.7) has never been a great sleeper, but since he moved into a 'big boy bed' at about 2 yrs old, he has been coming into our room in the night, often several times a night. At first, we made an effort to return him to his bed, but eventually, we found ourselves giving in as we were both working full time (though me with flexible hours, at least) and needed some sleep.

Since the early summer, though, I have been making an effort to return him to his bed during the night. It has always been me, rather than DH, who has done this, as I'm a very light sleeper and can hear him get up before he even comes trotting into our room. Plus, DS was always more resistant to being put back to bed by DH, and DH would also get cross and frustrated with the situation much more easily. With me accompanying him, DS became fairly good at going back to his room quietly and calmly, having a sip of water and going back to sleep (though often needed to hold my hand or be touching my arm in order to do so).

So this became the norm, with me getting up 1-3 times a night. I decided to let him stay in our bed if he came in from 5am onwards, as it was just too hard to get him back to sleep in his own bed at that time of the morning. Plus, we found that, after a beaker of milk, he'd happily sleep in our bed for another hour or so, allowing much-needed rest.

But I'm now 37 weeks pregnant. I've known for some time that we need to break this habit. I can't think how I'll cope with feeding a newborn all night (crib in our room) AND DS coming in umpteen times a night and expecting to either join us or me to take him back to bed and sit there while he falls asleep. I told DH he was going to have to take charge of getting DS back to bed each night. So now, each time DS comes in, I've been shaking DH awake and he's been trying to do this. Cue horrendous, hysterical, screaming, howling tantrums from DS: thrashing around on the floor (sometimes accidentally banging his head on the furniture and hurting himself in the process, making it worse!), going limp to avoid being picked up, demanding water/milk then throwing his beaker across the room, 'want mummy cuddle' etc. This can go on for an hour or more and DH finds it difficult to calm him down. And what makes it worse is that I know our downstairs neighbours (we're in a 1st floor flat) are pretty annoyed with us about all the noise.

I'm sure our inconsistency to date hasn't helped, but what should we do now? Hope that he gets used to DH returning him to his room (after all, we share his evening bedtime routine equally and he's used to this) and that the tantrums wear off? Gate on his bedroom door? I just feel a bit mean doing this, especially once the baby is here and it might feel, to him, like we're all in one room and he's shut in another. But maybe I just need to toughen up and do it for all our sakes.

Oh, and just to further complicate things, we're moving house in about 2 weeks' time!


Tortoiseonthehalfshell Wed 07-Sep-11 06:56:47

When did you institute the new DH-returns-him-to-room routine? Because that might well do the trick, and this is just the really hard transition bit.

I do sympathise. DD, same age, has started waking 1-3 times a night after a blissful period of sleeping through, and I'm really hoping it wears off before our #2 arrives in a couple of months.

eek at moving house 39 weeks pregnant!

AnotherMuesliPleaseBarman Wed 07-Sep-11 07:14:06

Thanks Tortoise. Only started this a few nights ago, so hope you're right and this is the toughest bit. It's just that DH has a tendency to want to give up, and I know we need to be consistent if there's any chance of it working.

Hope you manage to sort your situation out a little earlier than us! As for the moving at 39 weeks, I know, it wasn't supposed to be this way. But then, as you can see, I don't feel in control of very much at all at the moment!

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