Have I made a mistake?

[JeewizzJen]

Hi MNers :)

My DS is nearly 10 weeks, and currently, he sleeps on me. He never liked his moses basket, and so from early on the best way I found for us both to get sleep was to do it like this, and it's just stuck. Mostly, we do sleep pretty well with him waking up usually twice a night for a feed, which of course is a doddle and barely wakes us as he's so close.

As time's gone on I've started to worry that I should have tried harder to get him to sleep without me. I bought a travel cot with bassinet which is next to my bed - I've only tried him in it once so far but he only managed one 40 minute stretch and then I couldn't resettle him in it again that night, so back to my bed it was.

I admit, I haven't tried very hard since he was about maybe 5 weeks to get him to sleep elsewhere, I think deep down I like sleeping with him, it's lovely to have him right there. The thing is, I wonder if I'm making a mistake in still doing this and not getting him used to his cot? Eventually he'll be too big to sleep on me (he doesn't sleep next to me on the bed either, only on me).

Will it be a nightmare to get him to sleep anywhere else? Have I left it too late? Should I just bite the bullet and keep trying him in the cot? I feel like perhaps it's me being selfish keeping him in with me as it's easier! I'm a new mum, and often feel like I'm doing stuff wrong, so please help!!

[seeker]

Honestly you're doing fine. Anything that gets the most sleep for the most people is fine.! You'll get loads of posts about making rods for your own back, but ignore them. Babies are programmed to grow up and grow away. (sadly!)

[Iggly]

DS slept on me mostly at night, until about 3/4 months. He had reflux so didn't like being on his back. Now at 2 he sleeps in his own bed. So no you haven't made a mistake

We got DS used to his cot by having one flush with our bed then started off with bedtimes by putting him down in it after a brief routine (too long he wouldn't settle). Every night we'd try and put him in his cot but some nights it didn't work so we went back to sleeping on us. Gradually he got used to it (we also put his cot on a slope and let him sleep on his left hand side) and by 5 months he spent most of the night in there and by 6 months he was ok in his cot.

For day naps I was a bit less bothered by him sleeping on me or in a sling - only once I knew I had to go back to work did I work on it solidly from 8 months ish. Again I'd put him down (asleep) for naps in the cot and sometimes he'd wake so I'd try and resettle, if not he'd sleep on me. Did this for every nap and after a few weeks he'd be in the cot for naps no problem.

Have you tried him sleeping on his side?

[JeewizzJen]

Thank you both for your replies :)

Iggly I think your approach sounds like the kind of 'technique' I would like to try when we're ready (when I'm ready ;) ) Did you find you had to resettle him a lot, or that he woke more frequently than he would if he were on you?

I have tried him on his side in his moses basket during the day with some success, but it kinda makes me a bit paranoid and I find myself watching him like a hawk :/

I'm also not too worried about day times, at least for the time being - I've been using a sling too, or just taking advantage of having to relax on the sofa for a while :D

[Iggly]

Yes he did wake more frequently than when he was on me but after a while it got better as he got used to it. We found earlier bedtimes and making sure he was properly winded helped so he'd sleep for longer stretches at night.

We had him on his side in the cot, bottom arm stretched out to stop him rolling on his face. It also made it easier to try and resettle him in his cot (so would bend over sort of cuddle and pat his bum so we felt close to him).

oh I remember those days sitting down with DS on me for naps. Bliss just be careful re falling asleep on the sofa - risk of him getting trapped (I used to sit in an arm chair and have my arms on the rests to reduce the risk)