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Ds just isn't getting it, don't know where to go from here!

(5 Posts)
SleepDeprivedGrumpyBum Sat 20-Aug-11 20:59:36

Ds is nearly 10 months old and i've posted several times about his sleep (or lack there of) issues.

I have consistently been getting to go to sleep on his own in his cot for about 2 months now, laying him back down when he wakes up (no interaction just calmly lay him back down until he goes back to sleep as this is how i taught him to go to sleep on his own) rather than feeding him to sleep. But he's just not getting it!!!!!

He still wakes anywhere from 30mins to an hour after he's gone to bed, and is still up every couple of hours in the night. I'm getting so frustrated as he just seems incapable of getting through one sleep cycle. If i leave him to cry for a bit when he wakes up he seems to get so wound up that he becomes incapable of laying himself back down from a sitting up position. So where do i go from here? (the lack of success of the above method makes me think he just wouldn't understand and respond well to CC, if i thought it would work i'd try it)

I know some people experience a 9 month sleep regression so that may be causing some issues, but I personally feel like i could make excuses for it until the cows come home, since about 5 months old there's always been something, teething, crawling, pulling himself up and now trying to balance and walk.

Sorry for the long post, i'm just so tired and fed up, and i know it wont last forever, but for me not knowing how much longer the sleepless nights will continue just adds to the torture!

PatronSaintOfDucks Sat 20-Aug-11 23:09:49

Oh hell, no answers from me, just companionship in misery. Mine is almost 7 months. Has been goings nuts starting at about 3.5 months. The days are not too bad now, the nights are hideous. Up every 2 hours or less, not going down without a feed in any circumstances no matter how hard I try (will stay up yelling for 2 hours until I give up and feed him), and often now going down with a feed either. Often, in the evenings, however, he will calm down quicker and go to sleep quicker if I actually leave him in the room by himself. He cries whether I am with him or not, but he seems to cry less if I am not. Poor sausage. And I am all confused. It's not even the sleep deprivation that's getting to me the most, it's all this crying. And yes, I would love to know how long it will last. I am going back to work in less than two weeks. Full time. sad

SleepDeprivedGrumpyBum Mon 22-Aug-11 08:25:28

Oh dear Patron, sounds hellish for you. I was quite lucky that Ds didn't get overly wound up when i first implemented the laying him bac down thing. It did take about 45 minutes the first night but compared to how upset he gotten in the past if i've left him his grumbles weren't too bad.

I end up co sleeping in the early hours because i physically cannot drag myself out of bed to go and settle him. I know it's probably not helping as i guess its mixed messages, but the thought of being up every 2 hours (properly up standing over his cot or in his room etc) for the forseeable future leaves me exhausted even thinking about it!

And i feel your pain re going back to work. I started back about a month ago, only part time but some shifts finish at 11pm. My work has now offered me my old managers position but part time (doesn't usually happen) so this week i have 2 shifts until 11pm and 2 shifts that start at 5.30am. I need some sleep!!!

Ruth1234 Mon 22-Aug-11 09:06:34

My dd is about to turn 1, I just wanted to say it will get better at some point, not sure if that's helpful to say though! She is no where near a perfect sleeper, but a good night for us is waking only once in the night, when I feed her back to sleep. We have plenty of nights worse than that but a couple of months ago I'd have been chuffed to bits with what she does now. It's been slow progress, kind of two steps forward and one step back, but overall she's improving so I remain hopeful that ONE day she will consistently sleep through the night (and drop the night time feed!) She was a poor sleeper from about three months and I wasted so many hours reading books and websites and threads about how to make your baby sleep, and what was 'right' and 'wrong' - there is so much to feel guilty about! But feeding in the night and a bit of co-sleeping and going in to reassure her on a bad night works for us at the moment, so I'm going to stick with it. (a couple of months ago I was feeding more often during the night and doing more co-sleeping, things seemed to have naturally progressed without any 'training') If things are so bad you can't cope during the day, then perhaps a more drastic measure is needed. But if you can take each day as it comes and get through the nights by co-sleeping/feeding etc and it works ok for you, don't feel pressured to change it just because someone (expert or not) tells you it's the 'wrong' thing to do. Hang on in there, sleep when you can and remember everything they do, good and bad, is a phase that they will grow out of at some point!

mrsravelstein Mon 22-Aug-11 09:24:03

ds1 and ds2 were like this til 13 months when they both miraculously slept through and did so from then on in. dd is now 19 months and still nowhere near sleeping through. i realise that doesn't help you other than to reassure you that it is totally normal.

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