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7 mo wakes constantly, at least 10 times a night, HELP!

(15 Posts)
choccybox Wed 17-Aug-11 22:04:13

DS is 7mo, BF and currently weaning (BLW so not too much getting down but some).

He will only fall asleep either by feeding or by walking and rocking for about 15 mins. He will sleep comfortably in our arms but once he is put down he will wake within 5 mins. We then rock or i feed and this continues probably 4 times before he sleeps for couple of hours. He will then wake at least 2 hourly and then up for day at 5-6.

I'm struggling! We have tried putting him down while sleepy, shush pat while in cot. Today I sat next to the cot and shushed him and he sat up crying with outstretched arms for 10 minutes. I really don't know what to do next except that I need sleep.

Also he moves lots, rolling and sitting up which means when co-sleeping I have to stay semi awake as he can climb over me and such.

Help me please

DecapitatedLegoman Wed 17-Aug-11 22:05:28

Have you tried putting him down on his front?

choccybox Thu 18-Aug-11 00:56:12

Yes he generally sleeps on his front in his cot.

Any other ideas?

WideWebWitch Thu 18-Aug-11 00:57:32

Have you tried leaving him to see if he settles?

If you're there and he can see you he will want you! You must be knackered, you poor thing, much sympathy.

Janeymax Thu 18-Aug-11 01:09:57

You could try controlled crying at 7 months. Worth reading how to do it though as you only leave them for short bursts - you just keep going through the cycle til they sleep. Also if he sits, I would lie him back down. I would certainly try to get him sleeping in the cot from start - likely to be hard to start with but when you get through that will have been worth it. Persisting with shush pat may well work, but you need to stick with it. Can you get a break for a night and get refreshed before trying to shift it? If he's using the Breast for comfort, you wouldn't need to be there to feed and someone else may be able to try for a night or two. Sorry to hear you are doing it so tough, all the best.

ComradeJing Thu 18-Aug-11 06:17:36

We're all over here, newcomers welcome

I think we share a baby. The problem is you are what gets him to sleep and he has no idea how to sleep without you. For some people this isn't a problem for you (and for me) it is.

The first habit to break is feeding to sleep.
The second is walking to sleep.
The third is sleeping in your arms.

You can either do this slowly or quickly. It depends how exhausted you are. We were going slowly by first of all banning all feeding to sleep and just holding DD whilst she cried, whispering "it's ok, I'm here" and doing anything to get her to sleep that didn't involve feeding to sleep. She did not like it at first and she cried but she was crying because she a) didn't know why we werent feeding her to sleep b) wanted to feed to sleep c) was cross we werent feeding her to sleep.

We also gave her a routine based on PU/PD so you Eat, Activity, Sleep, You time (E.A.S.Y) so that she fed when she woke not when she went to sleep.

We've just moved on to phase two so now I sit in a comfy chair in her room and I hold her so she is almost flat and and pat her chest and say shhhhhhhh. That's it, no bouncing, jiggling, moving or anything. The first time she cried hard for 5 minutes and then slept for 40. The second time she fell asleep with some complaining but no crying.

Next step will be putting her in her cot and patting her chest whilst saying shh.

If you don't want her to cry at all look at No Cry Sleep sollution by Elizabeth Pantley. Didn't work for us.

CaptainMartinCrieff Thu 18-Aug-11 06:21:38

Comrade is spot on! The first thing to tackle is the feeding to sleep. He needs to know how to fall asleep without being fed.

AngryGnome Thu 18-Aug-11 08:25:18

We're in a similar situation, just started trying PUPD on 9 mo DS to try and break the feeding to sleep and falling asleep in my arms patterns.

It's been three nights, and he will go down after about 45 minutes of PUPD. He has tea at 7, bath at 7.30, then quiet play and stories until starting PUPD at about 8.15. He has fallen asleep by 9, and has slept till about 3. It has only been three nights, and I don't want to be optimistic, but this is a HUGE breakthrough for us! Previously he has enjoyed (!) waking up every hour or so.

One thing we have noticed is that he will only do it with DH. Don't know why, but he just will not settle with me - I am bf'ing him so I don't know if that is something to do with it?

Also a bit concerned that he is no longer having his last milk feed - if he has it he just goes to sleep whilst feeding. Not sure how important it is if he drops this milk feed?

choccybox Thu 18-Aug-11 11:10:02

Thanks for your replies.

Yes I have tried to leave him, but i'm not too good when he cries so always end up doing anything to soothe him - I know this is what needs to change.

Will check out the thread comrade. Am glad I'm not alone, everyone I know says their babies are sleeping through at 6 weeks! Breaking the feed to sleep is difficult because it seems to be the easiest way to calm him. Just going to check out the no cry book, think that would be good for us.

Angrygnome that must feel like such a breakthrough. Glad PUPD is working for you, he seems to see that like a game and will laugh. Last night he was crying and the DH came in to give it a try and LO laughed thinking it's playtime.

Again thanks for replies. Any more ideas welcome and much appreciated.

HotChip Thu 18-Aug-11 11:40:57

We've been having some success with breaking the feed to sleep habit. DD is ebf and 9 months old.

About a week ago, I started taking her off the breast when she wasn't quite asleep and putting her in the cot. If she cried I would hold her higher on my chest than bf position and offer water from a sippy cup. There were still tears, but she'd calm down as she sucked from the cup. The past couple of nights, we haven't even needed the cup, I just rock her standing by the cot. If she wakes between 8-12, she'll now just settle with a cuddle. That's a lot of progress for us. I'm still feeding a couple of times 12-8am, but she's been managing slightly longer stretches.

I think you can achieve a lot in just a couple of nights. We're letting DD cry but only in our arms, so we don't feel bad about it.

ComradeJing Thu 18-Aug-11 13:30:16

Sorry I just want to add to my earlier post as it sounds very heartless.

I also absolutely hate the sound of my daughter crying and so when I say she cried I mean that in the most loving way I can. She was held by me, her mummy, and cuddled and rocked and jiggled and bounced and shushed and we did absolutely everything we could to calm her down. The one thing I didn't do was give her my breast back! In the end it simply wasn't good for her to have an stressed out, exhausted mother who started to resent bfing (which I loved apart from that) so she had to stop feeding to sleep.

Also today has actually been the first day of phase two. She still hasn't napped for longer than 40 minutes but she only really cried hard for 5 minutes the first time I put her into her new routine. It's 8:30 at night here and she's been asleep for an hour and a half so far. This is huge progress.

The big difference between the no cry sleep solution is that it takes a month. PU/PD or any variation that involves tears takes about 3 days. PU/PD also didn't work for us because DD thought it was a game.

The big thing for whatever you try is that it has to work for you, you need to get results out of it (in whatever time frame is acceptable to you) and you have to be consistent. If you give in after a day and feed your DS back to sleep then the day has been a waste of time and possibly tears.

choccybox Thu 18-Aug-11 16:31:20

Comrade I didn't think your post sounded heartless at all. Informative and helpful were the words I would use.

I know consistency is the thing we need to do, sometimes at 4am it seems easier to play with him so he gets tired rather than fight for more sleep.

Hotchip, we have just managed to get him to take water from cup so may give that a try. I think I'll set Monday as my day to make changes and plan for more sleep. Gosh who knew it could be so tough!

JudysDreamHorse Thu 18-Aug-11 17:56:36

My DS is 10mo and we've been doing gradual retreat for the last 3 months. I wrote a big long description in the thread that ComradeJing linked to above. I think it has helped as DS is sleeping much better (he was waking every 1-2 hours when we started) but maybe it's just because he's 3 months older!

emski1972 Thu 18-Aug-11 19:02:41

At 6 months I had a similar problem, DD was waking every two hours through the night. I tried pick up put down and resorted to ear plugs but it just seemed to make things worse. I gave in or what I thought was giving in and fed each time she woke.
She would usually drop off again straight away...

Anyway I had some brilliant advice from a nanny....she said swaddle her, in fact she said double swaddle. She also said you will have two or three very difficult nights where you must not pick the baby up after the dream feed at 10.30 ish and what you should do is soothe her by keeping a hand or even both hands on her so she feels secure.

We were full of anticipation that night...basically she slept the whole night apart from waking around 2.30am which had become habit. The second night she slept through until 06.30am/ I didnt get any sleep as I was so used to waking up. She has slept through ever since, she stirs and I give her a comforter mouse thingy as she is very good at soothing herself.

This came about as my partner said "we went camping a few weeks ago and she slept all the night through for three nights on the trot." She had on a vest, babygro, a hat, an all in one fleece and was in a pop up tent.

I stopped swaddling about two weeks ago and she is nearly eight months. Hope that helps....

I also exclusively breast fed for 6 months and introduced a routine into our very laissez faire lives in order to get DD to accept a bottle as I had to leave her for a few nights. I was at the end of my tether at this point......

I was amazed at how the reswaddling worked. You do have to do it quite tight and she wasn't happy about it at first but she did drop off almost immediately, clearly feeling much safer and cosier. Good luck

YummyHoney Thu 18-Aug-11 19:08:57

Could he be a tad cold, do you think? If so wrap him up nice and warm. If not, sorry can't help.

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