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Upstairs/downstairs

(17 Posts)
Clueless79 Sun 14-Aug-11 19:13:32

Following discussion on a thread in another topic I've realised how much I'm looking forward to claiming back some time for myself/dh in the evenings.

Currently 15wo (pfb!) ds falls asleep downstairs after last bf and I go up to bed with him shortly afterwards at about 9pm. We start the routine to get to this point at about 6 most nights.

I'm wondering what happens in real homes compared to the guidance issued (which I tend to follow to the letter):
How old is your lo?
What time do they go to sleep?
Do they go to sleep downstairs or upstairs/bedroom?

Thanks!

nearlytherenow Sun 14-Aug-11 19:32:51

your routine with sounds v like mine was with DS1. "Bedtime" started with a bath etc at about 6, we would feed / read / rock / pace floor / feed again etc for a good few hours. He would fall asleep downstairs, then we'd both go up to bed together. This went on for about 6 months.

DS2, 16 weeks, has been put to be upstairs (in our room) since about 6 weeks (but I do use and Angelcare monitor as I am quite neurotic). Bedtime is usually about 8, but varies a bit. Our whole bedtime "routine" takes about 30 minutes - quick bath, feed, bed. So much less faffing about than last time!

debka Sun 14-Aug-11 20:11:50

Both my girls have gone into their own room from birth blush

Bath at 7, into PJs, story for 2yo and her in bed, last feed for 6mo and then she goes to bed. I'm on the sofa MNing by 7.30!!

seeksnewnamewithgsoh Sun 14-Aug-11 20:23:06

DD is 14mo. She has tea in time for In the night garden to start. We do pjs and quiet play while it's on, and when it's finished she has a bowl of rice pudding, then last bf and in bed around 7-7.15.

We started putting her in her room for sleep at around 13 or 14 weeks, when the TV in the living room started to disturb her. We ditched the moses basket at night at this point too. We lived in a flat so it was only next door though.

We've never done baths as part of bedtime routine - she hated them at the start and would get worked up more than if we just quietly changed her pjs and went to her room. Even now we do baths in the morning, it's just too stressful all round in the evening.

Clueless79 Sun 14-Aug-11 20:23:26

I can't tell whether what I'm hoping is to decide it's fine to put ds upstairs early because that's what everyone does or to keep on doing what I'm doing or I'll be too stressed about the potential risk I'm taking! I guess I'll figure that one out...

Nearlythere - is Angelcare a movement monitor? Maybe getting one would make me feel different - is it reassuring? Does it go off much? Might stress me out even more!

JollySergeantJackrum Sun 14-Aug-11 20:28:52

DS is 16 weeks and we've been following a vague baby whisperer routine for the past couple of weeks. The aim is asleep by 1930 but it doesn't always work out like that. (Tonight for example is a disaster).

Depending on how hungry he is, we do either last feed or bath at 1850ish. We then do the other one. He is put into a vest and popped into a sleeping bag then I put him down - aiming for putting him into the cot about 1920. And he falls asleep within 10 minutes (now, it took a fair while of hellishness to get here).

I then come downstairs and have the monitor on until sometime between 10 and 11 when I do a dreamfeed and then go to sleep myself.

JollySergeantJackrum Sun 14-Aug-11 20:31:01

Oh, we have a Tommee Tippee Suresound movement monitor. The movement monitor is good, but the 'parent unit' (the one you carry around with you) struggles with interference issues. We live in a not too big 3 bedroom semi and I can't take the monitor into the garden or even into the kitchen, which is directly below our bedroom. I definitely wouldn't recommend it.

I was recently at a friend's house and she has a video monitor which seemed quite good.

nearlytherenow Sun 14-Aug-11 20:39:34

Angelcare is also a movement monitor - I haven't had any problems with intereference, and carry the parent unit quite far (e.g. bottom of garden - not that garden is huge!).

We didn't have anything like this with DS1, and I found I checked him constantly during naps and when he finally started going to bed on his own. I didn't really get the benefit of putting him down as I worried so much! The monitor has really helped me to relax with DS2. Interestingly it went of 3 / 4 times in the first 2 weeks after he was born (not relaxing! This really panicked me). I wondered if it was faulty. It has never gone off since, so I've concluded that maybe as a newborn he was taking longer pauses between breaths.

bettieblue Sun 14-Aug-11 20:41:15

My DS is 12 weeks. We started putting him in a routine at about 3 weeks and put him upstairs in our room at about 7-7.30pm. (We had a normal monitor and would go and physically check him if it was v quiet!) We moved him into his cot at 10 weeks as he got too big for his moses basket so hes in his own room. I got an angel care monitor when we moved him into his own room and don't physically check him. Ive only used it for 2 weeks but there have been no false alarms. Have a look on amazon it got v good reviews which is why i bought it and the consensus was it won't go off accidentally.

Clueless79 Sun 14-Aug-11 20:53:11

I'm going to have a look at Angelcare monitors. Normal one is little use as ds breathes silently when asleep!

What about the thinking that babies need to sleep in the same room as parents at all times to prevent them from falling into too deep a sleep? Am I being ott?

Also how do you get lo's to be sleepy enough for bedtime earlier? We never seem to be 'there' before 9 whatever we do!

JollySergeantJackrum Sun 14-Aug-11 21:11:41

How often is your LO sleeping through the day, clueless?

DS is now doing four naps a day. The first three are between 45 mins and 1hr 30 each and the fourth is between 30 and 45 mins. The theory is that babies sleep better at night when they are not overtired. My DS only seems to be able to do 1hr 30 between naps before getting grumpy again. The more overtired a baby is, the more difficult it is to get them to sleep.

Clueless79 Sun 14-Aug-11 21:17:00

I think that may be the case - he'll usually have a nap of an hour or so and a couple of half hour ish cat naps. Some days quite a bit more and some days less. I can't claim we're in any sort of routine for naps - don't really know how to be when every day is different.

earshot Sun 14-Aug-11 21:26:30

We live in a tiny flat so I don't think I'm going to be helpful re upstairs.. It took until about 16 weeks for DD to stop screaming until 10pm (after being so laid back all day - we tried everything sad) but now bedtime is somewhere between 7.30-8pm for DD (now 8mo) and 7.30 for DS (2yrs).

We have an angelcare monitor - I am paranoid! It was the best thing I ever bought. Means I actually sleep between feeds grin

JollySergeantJackrum Sun 14-Aug-11 21:48:10

I know that this is a bit 'baby whisperer' (BW) esque, but it's working for us. I am now keeping an eye on DS and as soon as he starts to get grumpy he goes down for a nap. It also helps that we're now in a 3-hourly 'routine' for feeding (we'll be flexible if he's uber-hungry) so I know that he's not hungry if it's only been an hour since his last feed.

We're still at the stage when some naps are longer than others - the BW aim before 4 months is 3 1.5 hour naps and 1 30minute catnap.

I did read that a 30 minute nap shows overtiredness, a 45 minute nap undertiredness and anything longer just-right-tiredness, and this seems to be true for DS.

We have been using Tracy Hogg's Baby Whisperer solves all your problems books and also looking at the BW forums, but are only vaguely following the routine and mainly the book gave us some general pointers. We tried some of the sleep training methods but they did not work for us at all so we just did our own thing re getting DS to stop feeding to sleep.

Clueless79 Mon 15-Aug-11 11:39:25

I'm going to have a go at working on naps - but we never seem to be in the house at the same time every day so hard to get any consistency.

Still not sold on putting him up to bed and can't afford just to get another monitor so I guess we'll carry on as we are till 6months!! I suppose I'm just a neurotic sort of person and plenty will think I'm just being a bit bonkers!

JollySergeantJackrum Mon 15-Aug-11 16:49:00

It's about whatever makes you comfortable. If what you're doing now works for your.family then there's no need to change it smile

JollySergeantJackrum Mon 15-Aug-11 16:49:50

It's about whatever makes you comfortable. If what you're doing now works for your.family then there's no need to change it smile

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