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Have not slept for 9 months!!!!!! Tips???

(9 Posts)
Exhaustedmum78 Wed 10-Aug-11 11:35:27

Sorry, am sure this has been done to death but my 9 mo son has not slept through once, I'm exhausted, he's exhausted, I need help. I can get to him sleep okay. I just can't get him to stay down for more than half an hour. I've tried everything the books have suggested, but nothing has had any effect for more than 1-2 nights at the most (in that he stays down for perhaps 3-4 hours inbetween waking) and then after a couple of nights he goes back to waking every half hour. I've got him sleeping in with me at the moment as I'm too knackered to get out of bed any more! I really am starting to lose it now, I just don't know what to do. My fiance works nights, and my mum lives 200 miles away so I don't have anyone to help me, I really need some sleep, and so does the baby. There must be something I haven't yet tried?????

Samvet Wed 10-Aug-11 11:41:49

a sleep consultant. Millpond are amazing. Worth the money!

Exhaustedmum78 Wed 10-Aug-11 11:43:58

Pretty sure I would not have the money for anything like that, sadly!

BuongiornoPrincipessa Wed 10-Aug-11 11:51:21

How's his daytime sleep? I found that better day naps helped my lo sleep better at night as she was getting overtired and couldn't resettle after the 45 minute sleep cycle.

Exhaustedmum78 Wed 10-Aug-11 12:28:45

He wakes up at 7-ish and wants to nap again at half 9. He will stay down til half ten. Then he sleeps around 1.30pm til 3pm. His daytime naps are great, it's just the nights. I tried to get him to have half an hour around tea-time to keep him in a better mood til bedtime but that just resulted in him staying up til 11pm!!!

BuongiornoPrincipessa Wed 10-Aug-11 12:50:45

How do you get him to go to sleep? If by rocking or feeding then he may be waking and not resettling because he isn't being fed or cuddled? Have you read No Cry Sleep Solution? There are some good tips for gently teaching them to resettle without needing to be fed/rocked. It worked with my dd but I still co-sleep (three sided cot next to my bed) as she wakes twice at 14 months. She will resettle herself without a feed mostly.

Exhaustedmum78 Wed 10-Aug-11 15:52:29

He falls asleep on a bottle, unfortunately, and when he wakes I'll try dummy first, then bottle, he'll fall back asleep for a bit then wake up again a short while later. He seems to be a very light sleeper. He tosses and turns A LOT. I've got him in a cot with one side taken off pushed right up to the bed, sometimes I bring him into the bed, not much difference though. I will try that book if I can keep my eyes open to read it!

cbmum Wed 10-Aug-11 16:09:45

Millpond do a book with all of their sleep techniques explained. It's worth a read and worked, in part, for my 2 who are (in comparison to their peers) rubbish sleepers. DD1 is 3 in September and DD2 has just been 1. Sorry if this isn't helping!

DD1 got a lot better once I persuaded her to go to sleep without being cuddled, or falling asleep after having food. From memory I started with the Millpond techniques when she was about 9 months old. It didn't happen overnight but within a few weeks there was a noticeable improvement in the amount of time it took her to go to sleep and the amount of times she would wake up.

TBH it's been a bit up and down in terms of success. I got her sleeping pretty well about 18months old and for about 6 months she slept through most nights from 7.30 til 7am. Then DD2 was born and all hell broke loose! That was followed by DD1's eczema playing up so she was waking for several hours in the middle of the night feeling uncomfortable and scratching like mad. Then, they both got chicken pox!

I think (speaks quietly) we are turning a corner. I went back to the Millpond book with DD1 as following the eczema issues she had been cuddled to sleep by Dad. Using the gradual retreat approach she is better at going to sleep on her own but even now sometimes needs a short back rub to feel dreamy. I can usually then leave her saying I'm going to tidy up or some other random excuse. This past week she has started to sleep in her own bed most nights and today - for the first time in ages, she managed from 7.45 to 7am!

DD2 is a different case. She has always slept better than her big sister but that wouldn't be hard as DD1 used to wake every 2 hours or so at this age! I usually get her to go from 7pm to 2.30am when she gets herself either stuck up against the side of her cot, has lost her dummy, or just randomly cross. I'm afraid the need for sleep wins to I take her out of her cot and lie her next to me in the spare bed in her room. If I'm lucky she then snoozes til 6am. Today was 6.10am but for the last week it's been 5am. Yuck.

Sorry for the essay. But I guess what I'm saying is yes in an ideal world get the Millpond clinic involved but it is pricey so give their book a go. It's in our local library and probably in yours. The trick, if there is one, seems to be getting them to go to sleep on their own. Once they have cracked that then they tend to go for longer periods of sleep at night.

One last thought. My Mum keeps laughing at me whenever I moan about my two and their sleep. Apparently I was 6 before I slept though reliably! All things will pass and I guess there will come a stage where we are dragging them out of their beds for school!!

Aloha31 Wed 10-Aug-11 16:39:14

I forgot to mention, I am also a fan of NCSS. DD (2 months) getting great at settling herself for daytime naps, and during the night is more or less asleep for her 2-3 feeds, going straight back to sleep. She goes to bed no problem at 7 each night, more or less from using NCSS. Still tough at times, but slowly slowly getting there!

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