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Getting him to go asleep on his own - how?

(10 Posts)
finleysmommy Tue 09-Aug-11 15:19:35

Hi - I have spolit my 15 month old and always cuddled him to sleep. He yanks my hair and flickers it on his check then he is asleep and I put him in his cot. I realise this is not a good thing as I am loosing hair, and he is not learning to be in his cot on his own and drift of to sleep. Does anyone out there have any ideas or tips on how to get their child to go to sleep on there own? Thanks smile

mrshotrod Tue 09-Aug-11 21:09:30

Hi, see now I know I managed to do this with my DS, now 2.3 but can I remeber how now that I have 6 week!
I do know that we had a routine (eventually) and a pretty anal bed time routine, as in same thing everynoght. We also had a lullaby lamb music box thingy. We did do controlled crying just after 6 months. It was HELL, but worked brilliantly and after three/four nights of hellish screaming and trips up and down stairs to comfort him, it worked. I have a book I love called 'Sleep' guide to Peacfull nights, or somethng, by a Beatirce Holler (?) and Lucy Smith. It's not a big thick book, nice and may have some useful tips in it for you.
Otherwise could you make him a small wig of your own hair and put it on a teddy for him?! Ok, so I'm kind of joking, but the hair thing must be a bit of a nightmare.
Good luck.

vez123 Tue 09-Aug-11 22:28:20

Hi, we followed this when DS was just under a year
It's a gentle version of controlled crying. Worked for us after just 2 days or so. Also agree with above poster about the bedtime routine. We hold him and sing a song and then leave the room. In most cases he yells for about 20 seconds and that's it, no more peep until the morning.
At the moment he needs a bit more reassurance though as he just started at a childminder and was ill recently. So sometimes you do have to go with the flow.
How about a nice hairy cuddling toy to replace the hair thing?

finleysmommy Tue 09-Aug-11 22:47:44

Hi thanks for the tips guys smile I will definatly try these. Im just no good at him crying - how long should i leave him cry? I have never done this. I have tried dolls hair wigs most things lol he doesnt go for anyone elses hair he just strokes his face with mine. Im hoping he will grow out of this by learning to go asleep by himself. do you know of any good toys that sing to help them sleep? is this something to give a go? we did when he was a few months old. i dont know if it would work at 15 months i spose i can try this. thanks again im new here my first day smile have lots of questions! its great here!

finleysmommy Tue 09-Aug-11 22:49:41

sorry whats dc mean?

Aranea Tue 09-Aug-11 22:55:45

I don't think there's anything wrong with cuddling him to sleep, but it would be better & easier if it was in his own bed. We used to have a bedside cot and I'd lie next to it on my bed, cuddling till dd went to sleep. Might that work for you? Or maybe if he's in his own room, a proper bed with a bedrail, so you could manage to give him a cuddle while he drifts off? It would be a gentle first stage, and then later on you could start to get him settling himself while you sit by him, and finally he'd be able to settle with you outside the room. I have a very low threshold for tolerating crying, and prefer to make changes slowly and gently.

finleysmommy Tue 09-Aug-11 23:42:55

thats a really good idea aranea i would much prefer to gently do it but i just didnt know how. thankyou. the thing is he is still in a cot. can you get them to sleep in a bed safely at 15 months? I do love my cuddles with him but he does get too hot in this weather. I will look into getting a bed with bed rail. For his day time naps if Im not with him he gets rocked to sleep in the buggy.

Greenwagon Wed 10-Aug-11 20:00:04

I always said I would never do Controlled Crying but after 11 months we honestly had no other option. We had tried EVERYTHING! We said to ourselves that if she cried continuously for 10 minutes we would go to her. She never even made 5! And mostly she would cry for a minute then stop for 3 then cry for another minute then stop for 3 etc. When she stopped crying the clock went back to 0. By the third night she didn't cry at all, and now actually smiles when she is put in her cot. I do understand that it's very hard, but don't beat yourslef up over doing something that you feel you have to. Good luck. And if you are on your own when she goes down give a friend a call who will keep you on the phone for the 5/10mins if you need to - my mum was great for that!

Greenwagon Wed 10-Aug-11 20:01:02

Forgot to say - you haven't spoilt him! you have been his mum!

Aranea Wed 10-Aug-11 22:34:20

I think the question of whether he'd be OK in a bed or not depends partly on whether you are using his cot as a place to contain him while he's awake, or whether you go to him the moment he wakes in the night or early morning. If you're going straight to him in any case (as I imagine you probably are) then I don't think it matters much whether he's in a cot or a bed. When we first put dd1 into a proper bed, I bought a divan base and asked the bed shop to cut the height down to about the same height as a futon base. If you did something like that he could easily climb in & out without any worries about falling from a serious height. And you could put a Tommee Tippee bed rail on to stop him rolling out. Just an idea - I'm sure there are lots of other solutions depending on your individual set-up. I just don't think you need to feel that your only option is to leave him crying. There's always a gentler way, though it may be a slower process.

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