Constant evening and night-waking in 10 month old(13 Posts)
I would really appreciate some objective views on this.
She's mostly looked after/settled by me at night cos she wants BF all the time and DP works shifts so can't get into a consistent routine with her. She wakes every 40 to 80 minutes all evening. Once I go to bed I often bring her into bed with me when she wakes. She may sleep for 2-3 hours this way.
I am fed up. I can't even go for a bath in peace once she's gone to bed, or watch a film, or anything. I've been trying to make sure she goes into her cot awake, and managing, but it's done nothing to help with the waking up.
So my plan is this: When DP has a few nights off, I'll put earplugs in, take DS into bed with me (he's 4 and DD shares his room), and leave DP to it with her. It will be tough because she's used to feeding a lot at night and DS was sometimes hungry in the night until he was 3 so he'll offer her milk in a cup if necessary. But no BFs and she sleeps in the cot.
Does that sound reasonable at all? And how long would you estimate it will take before she gets the picture?
How much does she eat during the day? Sounds like a lot of night feeds for her age. If she eats well during the day she should not really need any nightfeeds at 10 months.
I can sympathise because DS has recently had a bit of a sleep regression and is very unsettled in the evening and comes in with me every night, anywhere between 10pm and 2am. It wears me down sometimes, but I'm taking the view that if he was that upset/unsettled during the day I would respond to him and offer him comfort and to not do it, simply because it's night time, seems a bit harsh. That's just me though and have lots of friends who've done just what you're suggesting and most have happily sleeping babies!
I think my main concern is that I just went with it when DS did this and was still feeding him at night, every night, after 2 years! I've not had sleep for 4 consecutive years now and although I'm only working part-time I am truly exhausted.
She's eating better in the day than she was a month ago but milk is still her main source of nutrition. And I'm not of a leaving-them-to-cry persuasion. So that's why I've come to the conclusion that DP with a cup of milk could try to meet those needs for a few nights instead. And hopefully when no boob is forthcoming she'll give up waking so much. I'm not sure if it works that way though
My first instinct from reading this is that she is not eating enough during the day because I thought that most children of that age should be able to get by without food at all between 7 and 7. But I sympathise a lot because my five month old is waking up constantly for cuddles and its very frustrating. In fact, are you sure yours is hungry not just wanting a cuddle?
Sorry that's about all I've got as I'm only on my first and still trying to figure it out myself.
That may well be part of it, the food thing, but she takes what she wants and I'm not keen to push her for my convenience. And I'm not sure I buy the 7-7 thing. As I mentioned, until 3 my DS would still go through phases of waking with genuine hunger. And it's unheard of for DH and I to go without a snack and a drink between 7 and 7 and we're in our 30s!
It is mostly a comfort thing I reckon and it's become habitual. I don't mind feeding her periodically but not every 40 minutes!
How does she sleep in the daytime ?? Waking every 40-45 minutes (i.e. every sleep cycle) sounds like typical over tired behaviour to me ?? Both of mine did the same if they didn't get enough naps in the day time
She usually has 80 minutes in the morning and 40 in the afternoon. And she's shattered by half past 6. You may be on to something because she's always been a highly alert, switched on baby and she's now extremely active too.
Like you, I doubt all the night wakings are from hunger - not as she is waking with such frequency. I think your plan is a really good one, and a similar approach worked well with my DD - I think we night-weaned her when she was a bit older but it definitely cut down on the night waking massively.
Overtiredness could be playing a role but I agree it does sound more like a habitual sort of thing - she's used to BF to settle her.
Let us know how it goes.
If she wakes every sleep cycle then an inability to self-settle may be part of the problem. Probably good idea if your DH is trying to settle her but not sure if a cup of milk works. Have you tried shush pat? I sing to my DS and hold him but we did resort to a gentle version of cc just b4 he turned 1 and it worked very well. But i understand if it's not for everyone.
I would definitely work on replacing her milk feeds during the day though. At that age my ds only had 3 BFs - one in the morning, one mid-afternoon and one in the evening. The rest were proper meals or snacks.
Also, re overtiredness it may be better if you keep her morning nap short (30-45 mins) and encourage a long nap after lunch. Hope this helps.
watching with interest as my dts are also 10mo and doing the same wrt sleep, and bf/solids. worst bit is that we thought things were improving - they were reliably going 2-3 hours until a few weeks ago. I rarely get long naps though, unless I am sat between the cots ready to feed/resettle at first stirring.
Hello, just wanting to join as my 9.5 month old has just had such a shocking couple of nights - last night she woke at 1.30 and WOULD NOT go back to sleep - I ended up walking with her in the sling from 4-6am, which was the only way she would sleep. Then finally giving her the bf she was after! I night weaned her ages ago so don't want to get back into the habit of feeding at night. Perhaps it's an age thing that means sleep gets more difficult at 9 or 10 months. I rather hope not, as it took us 4 months to get over the 4 month sleep regression ... and [knackered]
Anyway sorry if this isn't exactly relevant to your thread, but I've just gone back to work full-time and am feeling v miserable about the bloody sleep issues returning.
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