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I feel so guilty - attachment parenting failure

(3 Posts)
Cbell Fri 05-Aug-11 10:21:40

In order to try and function I really need to off load a little.

My DD is 7mo and sleep has been a real problem for us over the last three months. She has a good bedtime routine, she generally SS to sleep with a dummy but she BF 3 times a night and wants to sleep next to me.

I love her with all my heart and the fact that she sleeps better with me by her side makes perfect sense. Part of me wants to say fine 'we'll get a bigger bed, lets co sleep' but I am worried where this will end. Last night after I put her to bed she started crying for me. She go so upset even with her lovely daddy cuddling her but I couldn't go to her again. We are always together and I just felt my heart harden.

I feel guilty I've let her cry when I could have prevented it. I feel confused about my parenting style. I've tried to follow an attachment style but feel totally torn at the moment.


thesurgeonsmate Fri 05-Aug-11 10:37:31

It seems as though you are all doing a good job, but you are judging yourself and even your feelings against some sort of standard. I don't know much about attachment theory, but I think you will get lots of people saying that you don't need to pick a style of parenting, it's OK to just parent. For example, I would have thought there's nothing wrong with the baby crying with Daddy cuddling her while you get your head together, after all she's safe with someone she loves, but then I don't see the job as trying to get through the day without any crying. Do you? Why?

diyqueen Fri 05-Aug-11 13:57:30

I think she's at the 'separation anxiety' age isn't she? You could try sitting with her stroking her as she falls asleep, or cuddle her to sleep, if she won't feed to sleep in the night any more. I agree you just have to do what feels right for you and your baby, and not worry too much about following a style.

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